Life out of context

Looking up

So, in the category of what is going on, I say, life looks like a mystery bus tour. I’m seated on the bus in my part of the world looking out the window and who the hell knows where I am. Every day is different.

One day I live in a rain forest and have to have the button to my fireplace at the ready, it’s July. Then curtains pulled, shades lowered portable air conditioner installed, it’s the very next day. I read in the the New York Times that the flooding is so bad in some areas that it is sweeping cars and houses away and in another part of the world the drought is so bad work has stopped and smoke in the sky is the new normal. It’s not our mama’s world anymore. This is not even the world of my childhood!

For example, on a, it’s not that hot of a day here in the northland let’s go for a walk, said me, myself, and I. So we did. The above picture is the scene of a miracle I say. It was taken as the sun had nearly burnt the life out of me and, in short order. It felt so hot that in 6 seconds I would understand spontaneous combustion holy hell it was HOT. 3 blocks into my walk I had to make a hasty retreat.

Silly humans, they hate tree leaves in the fall and so trees in neighborhoods are culled until shade bushes are made to do the work and CAN’T. I had to make a retreat and this tiny woods near my house became my goal to GET OUT OF THE SUN, you know because there is for some stupid reason a scarcity of shade trees, here in the Northland, where humans walk.

“There it is”, I say, “keep walking” sweat pouring skin burning, and (YES, I TALK TO MYSELF) just a half a block more. In an instant the horror of the heat was abated and I was in awe of the mystery forest. A few short steps from the street to the path and boom, Trees just doing their job providing me, some squirrels and my murder of crows, much needed shade. I slowed down, frankly had to, and inhaled the smell of a humid forest and felt a slight breeze on my skin. For a moment It felt like walking into Avalon and I really wanted a mysterious Being to be further up the trail, see near heat stroke, I was hallucinating a mystery person in my mystery forest. Nah, I was fine. It was wonderful and I looked up and took that shot. The difference between me here and me there was lightyears.

What a thing, one minute heat exhaustion, and the next my life out of context. Rather than rail against the sun and the oppressive heat I instead let MY reality slip, just enjoyed being in that space in that moment. I allowed myself a time of magical thinking and believe me, that made my day so much better.

“It was awesome”, as my youngest granddaughter would say!

It’s been awhile

Lake Superior, the backdrop for this moment of next!

Why write, why share? Those words echoing like a mantra marching in this burned out teacher’s head.

“It has been such a difficult period time”, she keeps telling herself, which is unbelievable as she has moved through so many other “cycles of difficult” times. Gut wrenching times. Down on your knees times. Pain melting your face times.

In the human world this shit is never ending.

And as old as I am now this should be of no surprise. We are, after all, alive and certainly not going to sail above the fray of the human world of emotions. The fray, great word for that wind moving rapidly across our world, carrying the sound of our frustration, broken dreams and the dawning awareness of lies. There never was a goal to obtain, but a line of goals to move towards. There was never fame to be had but the role of the master mentor or teacher saying/showing, “I did it this way, how will you go your way?”. There were never riches to be hoarded but shared, nothing to be owned, but left behind, life work wasted if greed your motivator.

Though, you later learn, and hopefully not too late, that you can live forever if you choose. But only as the twinkling in somebody else’s eyes. A part of the story that lifted your family, or your contribution to history however small, all good deeds, generosity of spirit, the constant prayers, it all matters, after all.

But to my great disappointment people are followers not trailblazers and….

then I got pissed off again and withdrew from the world, you people do not deserve me!

The last time I thought of sharing my thoughts was just as I was finishing up vomiting the final emotions of the many betrayals that had marred my path for the last 6 years. Ever pulling myself up by the bootstraps I was screaming mad as I realized, once again, that was the job of being human. Learn Grow Flow.

So learn to use your body as a focus. It’s the body you were assigned, the one you are living in. Besides, you can’t trade in, so look down at it, there you are, See, it’s you! Learn how it works, learn what hurts it, learn why, blame no one! Learn Grow Flow

This is the power and magic found in self knowledge, a knowing and assurance of the Self so deep, so seated it could never be moved by the likes of man, the words of a teacher, the silence of loved ones. But this kind of specific information must be mined by the human occupying the space of the body vessel. No other way.

Start there! And me too!

Back to work, back to exercise, for the mind the body the spirit. Make it your job to make yourself the best version there is…

Glimpse of Thanksgiving Sun

I saw the sun today.

But, it was playing hooky they say.

Yes, I know, but “I saw the sun today.”

Right, its Thanksgiving day, of course, you saw the sun today.

Oh but you mean far away, because didn’t you know,

because, didn’t they say,

You would never see the sun this day.

The clouds will be many, and rain will be a plenty,

No, you won’t, see the sun this day.

But woe, I say, I did see the sun this day!

It’s my thanksgiving day.

My day to be grateful, anyway,

so you bet, I saw the sun today!

God bless us all, be glad I say, and may the sunshine land also your way!

A sunny break in a rainy Thanksgiving day!

Solo travel

Solo travel they say with a frown,

how will you know what to do in each town?

will you be brave and hit all the spots?

or will you be scared and hide quite a lot?

I have been traveling by myself, alone most days

because a ring on your finger or a man in your bed

is not always a partner that says go ahead.

lets do what you want, lets see what you’ll see,

these idiots have no idea whats it’s like to be me.

now to be really honest she says her voice down

I don’t see what they see, i don’t feel like they feel

i needed my life to be really real

so i travel alone, solo with glee

so that the life i might live maybe all about me

now before you get all up in my craw

my lessons were learned the same as you all

I have suffered betrayal and scaled emotional walls

I have had lots of loss I don’t talk about it all.

travel is one the freedoms I crave,

perspective is gained in an amazing way.

so I say just do it, solo, just fine,

get used to yourself, your company is fine.

For the fire to rise

For the fire to rise one needs fuel

For the fire to burn one needs a tool

For the fire to know one needs one’s head

for the fire will burn until you are dead

For the fire to feel it has to start in the chest

so their fire is fake they hold to close to the vest

For the fire to be real the first burned is the last

for their fuel is them, they blow in the blast

Then their fire burns a signal broadcast

for the phoenix has come, fucking at last!

Today is a D day

Today is a D day,

the worst of all the kinds of days.

D days are death days,

when loved ones show us they won’t stay.

A true d day is a surprise D

the kind you didn’t see coming,

because this loved one ducked us and left us

and they affectively fucked us.

Because they weren’t supposed to die.

D days, true d days, separate the bigs from the smalls.

Because you either take it & accept it,

or their death beats us all.

D days aren’t a joke day

they are a horrifying ghost day

a blast from the past you wish blew up like a smoke day.

D days are personal and mostly likely not talked about

but if a human around you experiences a d day

be ok when they bow out.

Heart pain can kill us like this D day tries to show us

So strengthen the heart that has blown apart

And remember the d days with love,

so their heart may restart.


For N






Life hacks 101

Life hacks 101.

  1. You do not need life hacks. Use your head and figure your life out.
  2. Adulting is a thing you do when you realize your life is yours. I wish it meant you were grown up and wise, it doesn’t!
  3. Maturity is an act of self will and something that must be instilled into you like a  download for a new operating system. One who is mature turns away from childish thoughts and ideas, FINALLY knowing better!
  4. Almost no one has reached maturity that is running our government! Or….almost no one in charge of anything, is acting as a mature individual.
  5. Wisdom is an energy field that you can walk in and breath in and talk from and it will not lie to you. It is a pure field and most do not know about it because their field is not pure and most assuredly defiled.
  6. One can stand in righteousness and broadcast a righteous signal WITHOUT making your signal my signal, or my signal your signal. We can think for ourselves!
  7. One MUST think for themselves. What are you an empty shell?
  8. What you decide for you is your truth! Why would another truth be your truth? Though, It isn’t truth until it becomes your truth through discernment.
  9. Oh here’s one for ya! There is no God to save you from yourself or anything else for that matter. It’s a false story! The savior story is for the humans who won’t think for themselves and become as sheep needing to be led. And really sheep people be wary of who you make your shepherd! This world was never meant to be a sheep meadow but a wild world waiting to be discovered by all of the lone wolfs filled with what creation put in us. Don’t be sheep! Be a wolf!
  10. There is no model for you to follow unless you need one. But be careful if you need a role model or a life path to follow, because then you have put yourself under another’s control. Make sure their idea of controlling you is what you are asking for. Once the collar is around your throat, many people stop knowing or remembering it’s there, and others have to fight the rest of their life trying to get it back off again.
  11. This life is yours to live. If you find your self already a slave, then live in your head! Make your inside world into a fantasy if need be. Make it what you desire it to be, hold onto that vision, no one can stop you from visualizing a new life, so do it and watch what can happen when the power & potential of a human once truly activated, gets to work. Miracles baby!
  12. Really, I mean it!


If it weren’t for transitions, there would be no movement at all.

It’s with one foot in front of the other, or we don’t move, we crawl.

Eyes must be opened, if we would rather not fall.

Lessons are hard enough, trying to avoid the brick walls.

Watch out for those transitions from this world to the next.

They may blind you and leave you oh so perplexed.

Watch out for transitions that emotions bring on

They are your false friends tell them to move on.

Look instead to your feelings and be true to yourself.

Then every transition will lead to the true self.img_2122

feeling stress

I am feeling stress

am I at my best?

the stress is trying to hurt me.

I seek release

its the least I can do

to escape this excess worry.

Because fu*k, we know what worry get us in a hurry

So I release this stress by mouth and music

I sang and screamed, really and loudly.

I let it escape and closed the gate,

so the stress can’t find me

she said proudly.



Anti-love holiday

Tis the season to be in love

with a ‘special’ someone

tis the season to be in love

with someone else’s someone

tis the season to be in love

with the only thing that hates you

tis the season to be in love

and not remotely understanding sacrifice

tis the season to be in love

so that others think that you have love

tis the season to show love

yet that l-word is really lust love

tis the season for that word love

and wonder if you truly know it

tis the season to be love

so just be love and show it