Could I be more sick of my life than I am right now? I have been at this crossroads for well over two years. Which way do I go? What course shall I follow? Shall I drop out all together and just forget the whole thing? Am I any further down the spiritual information highway while I have been at the same time trying hard to hold myself still not reacting to the fear piercing my heart. Waiting waiting waiting for answers guidance something!!!!!!!!!
Broken lost heartache loneliness separation anxiety yet still holding to truths innately held. I know I am ok. I know there is a greater story than the one I am drowning in. I know there will be a future past this awful confusing maybe even mysterious crossroad.
I walk with certainty completely uncertain.
I walk in faith completely out of my mind while doing it anyway.
I know there is something more out there for all of us and I am going to look until I find it.
So I will stand here broken and stuck at this crossroad where it is dark right now because the veil of unknowing is putting on quite a show.
I will wait and not move until the way is shown. I have bolted down more crossroads barreling down the undesired one always fully aware awakening this self was going to take major ass kicking until lessons are done. No easily marked passage for me until I finish my tasks. I am here to complete what I started so many thousands of years ago.
So dim the light around my crossroad and I will stand here until the light of God shows me the way. Dim the light and I will simply learn how to turn up my own voltage. That’s right and if you are here as one trying to keep me or others down with your fancy spiritual language and your I know the answers smile you best know it’s getting ready to rain light and truth up in here.
I am fully aware this is but one of many more crossroads ahead for me and since I seem to be all alone out here I will go first and leave a light on for you.
I maybe broken and stuck but its just for now, just for now!