To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.
e. e. cummings
Found this quote this morning and it about sums it up. A fight begins in me on the many mornings when I wake and find I have forgotten. When the past is a cloud wrapped around me caused by dreams of regret and pain. I wake in that fog of forgetting where I am and why am I here. The loneliness of loss, and missed opportunities rain on me. It falls as tears running down my face tearing at the fabric of my soul. Oh my God not again.
I have become sick of this game. It is like a serious of trials where I must stand before my accuser defending myself over and over again. I scream out, “It’s my life, I get to live it the way I want, and as who I am!” said with as much passion as I can muster in the face of such an accuser. This morning I added as I looked to the heavens “I am a child of God and I will answer only to God! I will answer to no one else!”, said with a little more conviction this time. Then my ever popular phrase, “you are not the boss of me, so there, back off , get away from me and while foot stomping, you better let me go”Accuser backs off, “chicken” I yell as I run back to my life.
I have paid a dear price for my freedom that is when I can remember that I have it. For the world would often have me believe I am not free and I owe somebody somewhere something, never a defined anything, as it changes with everyday. Awww, the game of life.
As e.e. cummings so beautifully puts it, it is a fight to be who you really are and you have to keep fighting. And I do. And I will. I have watched countless people turn over their lives to something other than the power within themselves. And I tire of the countless spiritual teachers who would seek to take away power rather than empower, can they not smell the karma in those acts. We are unique pieces of a greater whole. We are part of a grand design connected like a single being with multiple bodies minds and hearts, if you will, vast beyond our understanding.
We are limited in our own minds, prisoners of our own thinking, falsely mistaken every time we identify with this said limitation. What e.e. says can be used like a mantra, fight for your voice, fight for your identity, fight for your way of seeing and finally fight for how you feel in your heart. The fight changes as your understanding of reality matures and this is good, it is growth. But never give up fighting for as you move to the next level of understanding there will more naysayers, those who would seek to utilise your strengths and power and it’s not for them unless, you are giving it away.
Fight like you mean it. Fight because you know you are somebody, gifted, unique, and part of a dynamic and beautiful whole being. I will! I do! Will you?