Doing something

It’s a snowy day here in the Northland meaning winter remembered us after all. I was thinking about back in the day that waking up to a snowy landscape was the signal for a do nothing kind of day. Schools would be closed and the sound of snow plows and blowers would fill the air. Of course we also had buckets more snow than the whimpy snow day we are having today but with this winter of snow drought we must take normalcy as it comes. Winter normalcy that is. In the Northland snow days are a part of our winter tradition. So I deem this slightly snowy day a mandatory do nothing kind of day. There was really nothing else to do!

I forget the importance of doing nothing when you are in the process of birthing something new as I am. A pregnant woman at the end of her 9 months is not the go getter she use to be at the beginning of her journey. Birds start sitting more on the nest as the egg closes in on its awakening. A seed lies silently in the ground alive with inner activity right before exploding when the plant bursts forth. The wintertime is the necessary down time before the activity and rebirth of spring.  Winter may look like a time of silence and doing nothing but it is anything but inactive.

It is in the stillness of a free day and during the long idle hours of liberty that daydreams of what tomorrow can look like abound. I sit looking out the window at the snow daydreaming about where I am heading and what changes my life are going through. I am lost in the thoughts of what if and maybes and am consciously creating my tomorrow. I feel guilty because I am doing nothing but my head is filled with thoughts. I stare out at the wintry scene and notice that such stillness makes the silence suddenly less silent. Soon I hear the church bells I have never noticed before and I listen as the birds on the feeder are fighting over space. I can hear the wind blowing. I looked out at the day and wondered what it was like out there.

In the seeming stillness of that beautiful winter scene I stepped onto my porch for what was a decidedly unstill moment. The wind cut through my robe and pjs like I was naked, it blew my hair into my face and then it began pouring snow down my neck. Feeling not so tranquil I realized the sudden noise of the door opening startled the deer across the street and I watched as she ran off forcing the kids to follow. I stood there disheveled but still as the wind made the trees bend and howl. The birds were still singing and the snow itself was making a soft swishing sound. It looked still and silent from the inside but outside it was anything but…

I came back inside and made another cup of coffee. It’s a snowy day out there and I don’t have to do a thing. It’s a snowy day look, my car is trapped in the garage, my backdoor is blocked by a snow drift,(tiny as it is). I checked the refrigerator for food, and cream, I checked the cabinet for cat food and coffee and since it maybe a long day I checked for wine, all good. I took my coffee back to my favorite reading chair, tuned into some classical music, grabbed my book and began doing nothing at all.

I sat lost in thought as my mind went moving through daydreams cascading through all the future scenarios before me. It is a snow day outside and the inside of my house is still and tranquil mimicking the scene playing outside of my window. I sit silent in my chair seemingly doing nothing at all while the entire time the inside of me is a buzz of activity just waiting to burst forth. I sit in silence doing nothing while I am so doing something.

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