We had our first blizzard like storm in a while. The wind was blowing so hard there was nowhere for the snow to go and it blew into a snow pile right in front of my garage. If that pile hadn’t formed I could have driven away with my all wheel drive car as it just didn’t look like that much snow. That was until you actually went outside and saw the mountain.
I went out the back door to grab the shovel and start the task. I surveyed all that I owned and there was the mountain. At first it looked like a wave frozen in time by the wind and cold. It was beautiful in its design with smooth steep sides and tiny paw prints running up one side and down the other. As I got lost in the beauty of the moment I began to realize it was also a snow mountain trapping my car in that garage.
In one brief moment that snow mountain went from being a thing of beauty and wonder to a are you kidding me that’s where the mountain had to form. A few feet in either direction and the job would have been nonexistent and at the very least a lot less work.
Now I know what you are thinking, where is your snow blower? Yah, I hate large smelly loud machine like things. Plus, I use shoveling as aerobic exercise and can then drink a glass of wine with little to no caloric guilt. But wine or not that mountain wasn’t moving itself. My neighbor has a plow on his truck and usually does this work but that mountain was near invisible from the distance he would have looked down my driveway to see it as he drove off to plow for others. No choice I was moving a mountain.
The work was hard and horrifying. I couldn’t stand a second of it. My arms were screaming. I had to move a large part of the pile to the side of the garage because there was no where for the excess snow to go. I moved snow until I couldn’t lift the shovel and just pushed it from one side to the other.
I had oh so much time to think because I don’t care what any one says shoveling is not a stay in the present moment kind of task. Standing out there in the quite of the post storm drama checking the size of that pile I knew there was going to be a lot of time to think.What I was thinking about was how pissed I was that stupid mountain had to be in my fricking way and that I had no one to help me move the fricking thing and if I wanted it moved I either had to find someone to do it, when the entire town was under a similar mountain range making kind of snowfall, or move the damn thing myself. I spent a month in France and winter kindly waited for my return, ahhhh how sweet, said with great sarcasm. I kept moving the mountain.
Just in the nick of time the teacher inside of me finally comes forth with her wise words pulling me out of my one woman freak out show, stomping my feet at the base of mt snowverest,”I can’t believe I have to move this fricking mountain by myself” said with loads of self pity. As I moved shovel full after shovel full. Then it kind of hit me. This same thing was happening in my life, there has been a fricking mountain sitting in the middle of my life path blocking my way for some time. I have been so stuck in my head about where I am going and what am I suppose to be doing that my thought storm had finally created a thought mountain I could no longer cross.
I cannot stand when spiritual lessons come into the physical especially in the form of an actual snow mountain. I mean really wouldn’t a dream have work just as well. Probably not for me as I continued to move more snow and said with a hint of a smile.
During a forced break, my chest heaving I can barely get a breath. I realized I had put a significant dent into that pile, check me out, said with chest out, then collapsing into a heap waiting for my breath to steady. I began thinking about how much better I felt on that day because I had made a few decisions that were getting me ready to start back on my life path. I had finally been able to make phone calls. I had finally sent those emails. What I had done was finally make the first necessary steps going towards some place getting ready to do something. Though I was still confused about the outcome it was certain I was moving the mountain.
In bed that night proud of the hard work of moving that snow mountain I thought of my own dilemma the way I had made a mountain out of a mole hill of an idea. I didn’t need to know where I was going but I would only learn where I was going and what I would do next once I began to live again. I didn’t have to know anything I just had to keep going. I just had to keep shoveling that thought mountain out-of-the-way, one shovel full at a time and before I knew it I will have moved a mountain.
“I moved a mountain yesterday” she said in a victorious voice.