I am traveling today with my daughter and we are headed to the big apple, my favorite American city. Natalie has a birthday tomorrow and is getting married on the 24th. It dawns on me that this is not just a mom and daughter birthday get away this is the last time we will be together in such a carefree manner. Next time there will be a husband to think of and soon there will be children to tend to and getting away even for a day will be difficult. I remember those days well.
So we are headed off to walk the streets of New York knowing we are passing through a doorway of time. Ahh how interesting to be in this space with my daughter. When I became a mother I thought of this day when I would watch my daughter’s life change in such a profound way. For us to allow another person or persons to be in our space, sharing every intimate detail of our lives and then taking on the responsibility of raising children, this is big. We are very private people and these things are a very big deal for us, to choose our other, and the other parent for our future children. There are those of us who share ourselves as teachers but you will rarely see anything we don’t want you to see. If we have picked you to be a part of our inner circle then you have done well.
It pleases me to have a daughter to share my life with. Someone to understand life through another set of eyes with. I am starting my journey as a single person after nearly 49 years of being in relationships of one kind or another and rarely by myself. I am learning the silence of the first moment of the day to the stillness of the very last. Where there was once so much noise there is now only silence. There is no one to listen in the night for, everything has changed. I am only now understanding the depth of the change I am going through. I look over at my daughter and wonder if see knows the profound change her life is getting ready to go through.
As we both approach this next crossroads of our lives we know we have each other and that is awesome for me. And here’s hoping for a granddaughter someday then our mother daughter trips become three, yipee! How blessed we are to be able to share our lives, and even more blessed are those of us with families who love us and allow us to be who we are, when ever we are, just as we are. Look out New York there is a love fest coming to town!