Laughing to myself

“No one is ever more him/herself than when they really laugh. Their defenses are down. It’s very Zen-like, that moment. They are completely open, completely themselves when that message hits the brain and the laugh begins. That’s when new ideas can be implanted. If a new idea slips in at that moment, it has a chance to grow.”
George Carlin, Last Words

Like they say if I am not laughing I would be crying. I laugh a lot.

I just had my birthday, the big 51, death is around the corner, drama, aging, who the f**k cares about that. I see humans everyday so obsessed with things that are of no importance at all. They are so busy that when knowledge and wisdom come knocking they become very busy in their lives and don’t answer the call. Believe me these people are not laughing. During these last 3 years knowledge and wisdom has continued to come to me though I am sitting on my ass doing nothing or so I thought. I was learning reading but I was also sitting on my ass not laughing too much at all. It was the day before my birthday when the energy of the trap I set for myself finally moved and I burst out laughing. Let me explain…

After my divorce, the death of my Mom, the loss of my teacher, the loss of everything I held dear I sat down. I told God that since I didn’t seem capable of not blowing up my life by allowing the wrong people in or doing the wrong thing or the I must be a dumb ass for trusting anybody at all, I felt like I was incapable of moving forward on my path unaided. I lost my teacher, my mom, I had made God mad some how. I had no one talk to any more so I sat down. I looked to the heavens and told God I wouldn’t do a thing until I felt lead. So I sat down and I waited on God. On that day God turned his back to me because it was in that moment that I had made my mistake. Not before.

Walking in faith is the knowledge that everything is happening as it is and is ordained by the orderly God in charge universe. Everything that happened was supposed to happen. There was no other way around it. The growth of those experiences have been paramount to what is going on in my life now, I just didn’t know it. I stopped laughing and Life got pretty fricking serious. I was still doing my spiritual work, my writing but as far as taking a step forward I wasn’t doing that. I thought I was waiting for something. Fast forward to the day before my birthday and a particularly hard time with some family issues and lots of sadness, I called my Dad, oops..

My Dad is not a fan of my spiritual search and felt the betrayals I suffered should have been enough for me to understand I was standing on the wrong side of that argument. His love for me and desire for my safety had him talking in a way I am not so cool with but hey he’s old school and of the mind that parents know lots and us kids need to know when to listen. Well I heard him loud and clear and as I realized what he had said that stuck in my craw I nearly laughed my ass off. As he was explaining loudly his view of what I needed to do or not do he screamed, Do something! There it was, nearly 3 years after I told God I wouldn’t move a muscle without his permission and expressed desire, God used my father’s rather scary voice to tell me to get up and do something.

There is no growth without movement. Even when you think God has his back to you he/she is shoving stuff in your path just to keep you going. I had no idea. The books I had been reading were all leading back to the awareness that God had given us precious power that could be harnessed to change everything. Every moment of those 3 years I was moving and at light speed. Awareness changes how we look at life and our place in it. There is no more time for sitting down. Those who have knowledge and light within themselves need to be the lighthouses that shine on for those who are lost and searching. I have been searching for truth for so long and am packed with information but it is shining my light that the information moves into everyone not sitting. (You got a question yo I’ll solve it, check out the hook while the DJ revolves it, ice ice babee). I am answering questions all of the time.

What good is wisdom for me or you if our family is suffering? What good is information from a book if the book sits on a shelf? Knowledge is action and power. Experience is valuable much more than money and gold. I have so much more than almost everybody I am so blessed and I thought sitting down was the answer. The greater my light the greater my lights ability to move into those who hunger for the light. As I move the light moves, God does with it as he wills. But if I am sitting down hiding from the world then my light lights one room, one soul. When I move my light it quickens those who are ready. The lighthouses stationed throughout our world can then do their work. The light will lead people to churches and synagogues, to spiritual teachers, back to their homes and families will be reunited. They will look to those whose eyes tell the story of their wisdom.

You will know when you run into such a person but they will not necessarily say anything it will just be an exchange of light from one lighthouse to another. The light is looking where to go. So many lighthouses are needed to heed the call. It is why the Buddha smiles he knows and wants you to know. It is why smiling is so good and laughter so much better, the energy of light moves like that in a twinkle of an eye. The upturn of a smile reveals the innate knowledge that while we wallow in our oh my God while has thou forsaken me, the great spiritual teachers are laughing because they already know.  God is waiting on us to be the lighthouse we promised to be.

This is a call for all lighthouses. The light you are searching for is within you and when you stopped laughing you stopped feeling it. So many people are so serious, so bogged down. People laughter brings in the light. Laughter lights up your face and everyone wants to be near such a bright light, just like moths to a flame. It’s time to laugh even when it seems so serious and scary out there. Be safe in the knowledge that God is in charge and everything is at it is. When life gets hard hold to your center and you will know what to do. Search for knowledge and wisdom for you and your family above all smile, laugh and be free. I’ll be over at the next table shining my lighthouse and laughing my buns off feel free to have a seat.




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