Closed Doors


Would you know a closed-door if you were standing in front of it? What about the closed doors in your mind? And the doors that are closed, did you close them or were they closed for you? One of the big spiritual lessons is waiting, patience and all of that stuff us humans love to hate. We wait for doors of opportunity and lean into dysfunctional doors. Most of the time we are drug kicking and screaming through our lives balking against the very thing that is necessary for our growth, learning to open and close doors not having them opened and closed for us.  Problem is that we humans are sent down here to learn to negotiate our own doors not cower in fear or roll around in ego, this is not a vacation people. Most of us would agree life is often a shitty mess. No wonder lots of humans are looking for a way out and most through the door marked sex drugs and rock & roll. Not the answer.

One of the precepts of Kabbalah is to do what is difficult first. We eat our vegetables before dessert, we meet someone move into a committed relationship and then have children, we get out of the way of huge storms, there is a natural order of things.This natural order allows a slow opening of awareness and wisdom that then can be utilized for a successful life. But we must be able to know where and when doors are opening and closing around us. As in most things humans need help finding their way through doorways and help seeing the doors themselves. People seem to have a hard time with the knowledge that you are being led and fight like troopers trying to make the world bend to their will. Poor little foolish humans. We have just a little human will, the universe is working with a will that has a pretty big capital letter W, Universal Will. There is a bigger picture running like a movie we can’t stop so we are best served figuring out the rules. All the well wishes on this planet will not stop this storm getting ready to beat up the east if it is meant to be.

When we can’t see the doors in front of us the Universal energies are happy to oblige by opening and shutting doors right in our face and behind our backs. Found anywhere and at anytime doors will open when you least except it, like awesome opportunity, or doors can close so fast you can feel the wind across your face, you were fired, a loved one dies, Door closed!

But like the old saying goes when one door closes another door is opening. A door closed for me yesterday, a door I needed to close. As usual you think you might know where opportunity will come from and I have been almost desperate in my desire to see an open door. But doors can’t open until other doors are closed. While I waited with bated breath for doors to appear I ignored the power of the door I left open. I left it open, it wasn’t really open at all, but in my mind it was like an escape hatch, a place I could go just in case, the PTSD effect of always knowing where the way out is. Ah spiritual mind traps.

Until the door in my mind was closed there would be no further progress but plenty of nightmarish bull shit stuff to go through. SO my advice start looking for the open doors that need to be closed or get ready because someday the door you thought to be your escape hatch will be as closed as it ever was. You cannot go backwards through doorways without harm to yourself and your family. We move forward through new doors. Growth people, real growth is forward moving. So the door shut yesterday and I heard it but my little queen of de-nile self pretended she didn’t hear it. I saw it this morning, I also heard it and ran into it, damn big door.

For me it’s a needed relief. I needed to close it myself but it was a door tied to family and so-called obligation and in all of that I forgot myself. I left a door open that was hurting me and I had stop recognizing the sensation as pain. It just became known pain and I as a mother just dealt with it as that is my job. This is why people are fired from jobs, when we don’t see the bigger picture and its time to go, we will go either willingly of our own volition or you can start listening for a huge slamming sound, a door is getting ready to go.

I am excited for the first time in probably 3 to 3 1/2 years, that’s how long it has taken for every door that was left open to close and since there were so many left open the sound of the slamming has been deafening so I stopped hearing it. I am guessing as the dust sent into the heavens from all the doors slamming takes a moment to settle I will finally see the open door that was there all along.

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