I am moving from one mind to another. It is winter, the season we delve into our deepest darkest parts and I in all of this winter time silence am surrounded by my thoughts. As it is the start of a brand new year I am trying to look at tired beliefs in the form of my tape-loop thinking that tries to hold me in place steeped in fear, “you’re not good enough”, “who are you to suppose”,”it’s not my place to say”,”no, that’s alright you go ahead”, “too much time has already passed, it’s just too late”. But this thinking and repetitive behavior which binds us in time must be confronted, transformed or transmuted, it must be dealt with, we must move from one mind to another.
But before we can do that we must first empty the mind of that which is old tired and out of step with our ever-growing and ever-changing beliefs. As we move through life we have experiences that can; change the course of our lives, stop our lives or finally get them going again. When these kind of life course changing events happen a time for emptying the previously held beliefs comes and usually it is a period of sadness and withdrawal. Change is painful and often it is hard to accept the notion we were wrong, hiding as we do along the banks of de-nile.
When all of the thoughts of the past have been processed the mind can empty like a bath tub loaded with its old doubts and fears replacing it with more space open for new-found experiences and wisdom to accumulate . It is not an easy process and most turn running from it because it can cause problems in relationships and with your life as it can look and sound like one is losing their freaking mind. It is not easy digging through old buried hurts searching for truths and sometimes the answers can only be found when we learn to walk away and just let go.
So when I sit and cry for no apparent reason or get started laughing and can’t get stopped I chalk it up to the emptying process I am undergoing as the new readies itself for my examination and use. I feel the tears like a ritual cleansing and the laughing a robust workout. It’s not always that easy but apparently necessary as I move from one mind to another. We will talk about what my mind is doing another day. Now I am off for a session of standing forward fold so I can continue to empty my mind, yoga style, followed by a good book and a glass of wine, emptying my mind Leanne style.