Inside of myself has always been an awareness of the importance of my job as a mother. The responsibility that was mine because well, I gave birth to them. I still take this job very seriously and in the end it will be the only job I will have held as being important. I have had the privilege to help mold 3 humans into awesome humans. I loved them unconditionally even when those looking into my backyard thought I was doing something wrong. I gave my kids the freedom to explore and be themselves in whatever manner they chose. I allowed the fear of the unknown to be around them and myself so that they could invent themselves and not fall into someone’s you ‘should’ be this bullshit, they will be themselves! I held them when they fell and lifted them when they could not see. I have poured my life blood into each one of them. And now they are grown.
dramatic pause, enter the dragon, my grandson…
What makes every mothers day great now is that I am grandma. The next stage is upon me and it is awesome. My daughter is pregnant, my second grandchild is on the way. Hell yah! I want lots of grandkids. There is no doubt that it has been difficult for me as my own mother had a hard time with the kind of personality I have and it kept us at arms distance until her death. Being a mother was hard on her, at least with me, and being a mother has been hard on me. I just knew there was no choice but to do the job of mothering. Her friction with me became my desire for a completely different definition of the word mother for myself. And I redefined it. My hope and prayer is that from wherever she is she knows, she made me who I am and I am a fricking awesome mother and looking forward to turning into an awesome grandma!!!!
God is great!