No man succeeds without a good woman behind him. Wife or mother, if it is both he is twice blessed indeed.
A disturbing trend I see and hear about is the breakdown of the duties of the wife and mother, (good God read on before you roll your eyes). Face it and you know it, without a good woman in your family you probably do not have a well-functioning family. Mothers have been doing the job of Mom and Pop for years as so many men have died providing for their families and protecting our country leaving Mom at the helm of her ship. The role of the mother and wife was a very important role indeed in keeping the family together. Once upon a time it was a woman’s pride to take care of her family and then something happened. I began to hear entitlement in the voice of women sick of not having any support and left holding the ball. Drugs march in as a woman’s mind marches out, plug-in shopping, sex, drinking, avoidance, bitterness, ect… Children, what children, husband what husband, fucking leave me alone already!
Husbands come and go because women lead them away or bitch them to death or expect what can not be expected, and they do the same thing to fathers. Once your husband is out the door for what ever justifiable reason you had, he is gone, so is the father of your children if you had any. This leaves women doing double duty. Resentment-ville is right around the corner and the kids have been forgotten. This is ridiculous, at some point being responsible for what you set up, like getting married and having children, is required. We need to quit trying to get out of doing our job. Woman! Stand up already! Please God!
I am dealing with a woman right now who cannot see the nightmare in front of her because she thinks the nightmare she is imaging is real. Her husband did something to disrupt her trust, a year ago, we won’t mention that any acting out behavior is just that acting out, for instance I need to say something and I don’t know how, so I am going to fuck up and see how you handle it, even our children do this, my cat did it too! When something needs to be said in a relationship and it is not, try to live on the banks of De-nile, believe me, it will be back with a vengeance, back to the story.
The husband acted out, in front of her so she could see what she would not see, and what was a call for help became her cry for look what you did. Now she lives in victim-ville and she is dragging her family down with her. Her son is forced to go to school dealing with bullshit, her son doesn’t get her full attention and lately any of her attention because she would rather live with her head in “I”m right” and “I’m mad” and “I’m sad” and “I’m upset”, and her boy is just hungry and needs a pair of shoes, guess who is having trouble at school.
So while she sits down on the job and we boost her husband to try to give the family time to heal and frankly time for her to get her head out of her ass. I wait. I wait for her to see her role in the destruction of her family while she points her finger at who she blames. Her family will go down in flames. Only a very weak-willed man will put up with a woman continually blaming, ragging, whining, bitching, a good man will manage for a while but any man worth his salt will not let a woman bring down the house. But a lot do, a woman’s force is not any fun when it is aimed at you.
For a woman to be all she is to be in the role of wife and mother is to understand it is an action word. You do wife-ing and mother-ing. You do it because it is our nature to be the nurturer, we give birth, we create life, its in us, even if we never become a wife or mother. Our strength holds the world because we hold the family. Men back us up, protect and provide, we hold the family. We hold our children so they can grow and learn and be, it’s a continual job. Is this new information to some people?
Think of Jesus, he had Marys, two of them, a companion and a mother, through what had to have been a very difficult role for both. We all need the support of our families and we as women need to get back to work. There will be no career awesomeness that wipes out the shitty job you do with your family. Believe me and then go ask your kids and maybe your ex-husband. I am not saying stay home I didn’t, I am saying if your are partnered, DO YOUR JOB support and love your partner, if you are a parent DO YOUR JOB, support and love love love your children! God is watching us…
Woe mighty big soap box today