My God its full of stars


images-6One of my favorite lines in the 2001 Space Odyssey movie, so it was apt that when sitting at my writing desk I looked at my ceiling feeling exasperated and remarked , My God its full of webs. Little bitty webs hiding in plain sight.

I am farsighted so I see fine without my glasses. Of course that’s as long as I don’t want to see what’s right in front of me. Slight exaggeration but this needing glasses every fricking minute is getting on my last nerve. I won’t wear them all of the time and it’s slowly becoming a problem. As a Virgo I keep my house CLEAN, no lie ask my kids I need my house clean. Or so I thought was the case until I realized that not wearing my glasses while cleaning was a joke. But I didn’t see it, hardy har! Dust still everywhere, boo!!!!!!!

I remember my mom talking about looking at herself in the mirror after she hit midlife. She talked the glorious-ness of soft focus. She still looked beautiful but in soft focus she looked as she remembered. Not wearing her glasses allowed the vanity of not knowing just how many wrinkles were erupting minute by minute on her older face. This let her keep her beauty, her youthful beauty because she never stopped being beautiful. Me, I don’t care about that. I taught myself not to look in the mirror so I wouldn’t shock the sh*t out myself every time I saw my mom looking back at me. My mother is gone it is very disconcerting to see her looking back at me.

Meditation is what I do daily to clear my mind so I may see clearly what is going on and why in my life. But for some reason I have become resistant to “seeing” out my eyes refusing to wear my glasses at home. I have left the house without them countless times, can’t read a menu, can’t read signs, can’t read labels, prices, it’s a drag. The fact that I am coming out of a depressed time probably has something to do with it. Why see what you don’t want to see. Problem is I can’t keep doing this. It is not the path of the spiritual student, depressed or not. Doing spiritual work does not give me a get out of jail card for dealing with the physical plane I am indeed living on. One must do the work.

So I am putting on my glasses a little more often so I can see. No point of meditating, polishing the mirror for my internal eyes if I leave my physical eyes in the dark. To be a fully spiritual being having a physical experience is to marry the experiences of the spiritual and the physical plane. The greatest work we do is spiritualizing matter and we do this by following the universal laws. Putting the unseen before the seen. Force before form. In the end I need my glasses.

So, if I would like to keep my designated nature as a compulsive neat freak intact I am going to have to wear my glasses while I clean. Then write a note to myself to put them on and look at myself and clothes before I walk out the door. For heavens sake how many times have I found a stain or my lipstick smeared, time to check the mirror more often. Same sentence applies to the spiritual I check in meditating to feel my true self, to ‘see’ my truth and to ‘see’ that I am on the path and to know I am not alone. The meditating moves to more than once a day to keep the internal mirror clearer still and I will wear my glasses so the external is just as clear.

So tonight when I look at the night sky with my glasses on I bet I say, My God its full of stars.

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