Giving in not giving up

It has been said a thousand times that to change you have to do the work. You can’t buy your way out or through it. You can’t wish it away. You can’t really avoid it because anything you are putting off is gaining momentum in the astral plane. This is one of the things I learned when I was very ill. My teacher told me that to truly heal one had to understand the underlying issue that was manifesting. Just like anorexia is not an I hate food thing its an I hate myself thing, the only way to cure it would be intense self-love therapy, something frankly we all could use. We move issues around in our head until we come up with a reasonable explanation rather than the truth. My relationship is bad must be his/her fault, no matter my parents hated each other and I have no idea what love means, its what’s her/his face’s issues and baggage. Will we never look in the mirror?

I recently had an encounter with someone in my past who has taken great issue with me. This person pointed out over and over again what they and their posse thought were my issues and went on to identify their rightness. Of course I played along as my human side became very active. But as I look over the incident the truth was just sitting there under the surface but under no circumstances was this person willing to see, right makes might after all. A fight I was never going to win and to allow this person the upper hand would have simply played into their very unfocused life view. That’s their business not mine. How awesome to take the time to really see rather than engage, of course I engaged first, so fuc*ing human am I still.

My teacher says that our problems come from our emotions and once triggered we then react. Like a pot needing to be stirred before it bubbles over, once we see the issue we need to look for truth, save the reacting for something that is real. Our lives are run by the amount of reaction we give all of our little and insignificant problems. Play this game when you get pissed off, if I was going to die in 6 months would this idiot and their issue even be a concern, probably not, death is the great equalizer and nothing pulls perspective like remembering your death is imminent, and it is, face it and then begin to really live.

I am often disgusted by the amount of wasted time around bull shit issues that are meaningless in the material world of constant suffering. I watch people react every chance they get which leads that person to react, then that person, before long everyone is reacting and no one remembers why. We lose our consciousness and forget our true self as soon as human natures takes center stage and begins messing with your mind and the truth, why bother. One teacher said if you stub your toe and we all hate stubbing our toe, be glad that was all the karmic adjustment that was necessary, better than breaking a hip. The world is in a state of balance you shoot off at the mouth that sentence will be back to haunt you.

For you on the karma is not real bench, if I have an accident it was just an accident, I would say look over your life and get back to me, that’s not the bank of the river denile your living on, you are swimming in its waters. Cause and effect the most base of the natural laws is kicking the hell out of everyone you see and like a truck rolling down hill without breaks its just gets faster and more powerful as it rolls and prepare yourself it’s getting ready to roll over you.

We do spiritual work to clue us in on things like this. We have to stop trying to get the upper hand over someone, more karma, we have to stop trying to look better than someone, karma, take from someone, more karma, be shitty to someone, more karma. We need to give in to the idea that the peace that passes all understanding comes when we sit in our truth and we don’t do anything to mess with it like say reacting over the idiot who just pulled out in front of you, more karma. Give in to the notion of just letting everything be but never give up on remembering who you are and who is really in charge. When it is time to react for the righteous cause you will know because the ego will not be involved. We are so much wiser than we give ourselves credit for, we need to access that wisdom and learn to shut up. Whew…

A true spiritual student

To my fellow yogi brothers and sisters, in my humbleness I wanted to share some thoughts with you about what my teacher means to me, and how I feel this gives me a responsibility in return for his service. There have been many master teachers on the planet and we are very fortunate to have a true spiritual teacher in our midst. To do our teacher the greatest of service is to gratefully receive this gift and be a true spiritual student eager to do our work in return. To show our heartfelt thanks towards our master is to follow the teachings with purity of heart and be ready to stand as a lit candle on the path so that others may find their way. To accept fully that we have a true spiritual master in our midst is to be a collective of true spiritual students successfully living the blessings of students of the divine spiritual wisdom. He has lit the path before us it is our duty as his students to do the same for others.

To be blessed with a teacher is a karmic signpost of how much spiritual work we may have done in a previous life and makes finding a true spiritual teacher a great privilege. To show our gratitude for such a gift is walking the path as a true spiritual student, dedicated to being a lighthouse monitoring our egos in service to humanity. The student of divine spiritual wisdom is asked to review their daily activities through the lens of the divine. As you review your day constantly asking the question, did I do the best I could? Could I have done better? Looking at the self and its responses through the neutral viewpoint of the teachings of the divine spiritual wisdom ever willing to grow. We restore karma by right living, even more by righteous living.

As a true spiritual student our manner should precede us as our lives reflect the gift of being a student. As representatives of our teachings our speech even when doing the smallest of jobs shall be filled with uplifting words not those of jealousy or callousness. Our words are filled with the energy of who we are and when spoken speaks of your belief system that which lies unconsciously inside you. Our spiritual growth is reflected by spoken word, through our choice of words and as a true spiritual student they will be filled with light.

When we make appointments or attend classes, when we are standing in line or suffering from any of life’s vagaries we constantly reflect the consciousness of a true spiritual student. We would never think of taking up someone’s time, wasting our own time, we would never appear lazy or ungrateful for the gift that changes our life from fate to destiny. Being a student of the divine spiritual wisdom is learning the keys needed to unlock life’s apparent mysteries. The true spiritual student radiates this knowledge and is a lighthouse to the path. They probably wouldn’t be gossiping or acting in any kind of demeaning manner.

As a true spiritual student we do our work on our own our time. Our joy of being in class together is being united in our energy to feel a greater sense of self. In class we aid in lifting the energy up making it easier on our teacher who is shouldering the entire class. Who are we to cause our teacher even a ripple in his energetic flow? The true spiritual student sits eager to help those students who they can feel need assistance, why be a lighthouse if you are not using your light to aide those around you? Admire your own light long enough and you will be blind and lose your way. We are led on the path by the lighthouse’s who have walked the path before us our job as true spiritual students is to shine our light not bask in someone else’s. If we want to bask in the light of the teacher we should shine with the light of God.

When we are in class we give our attention to our teacher not chattering amongst ourselves.  What could we have to say to each other when in the space of the teacher sharing his word? Who would talk keeping another from being able to hear? Who would look to their phone in class? Who would text? What could be so important and if it is why haven’t you left the room? Why can you not stay in class? Why do you get up making the teacher look up? Why when you speak must everyone look? A true spiritual student knows the sacredness of the teachings and shows proper respect. We think it matters little but look to the karma in your life and think again. When in class be a respectful student.

When we walk the path of a true spiritual student following the teachings given by a true spiritual teacher we will find our lives filled with Gods blessing. As a true spiritual students working to reunite with God who can stand against us and as students of a true spiritual master who are we not to walk our path shining in our manner filled with gratitude. Our teacher and the teachings have blessed thousands of students; it is our job to see to it being even greater numbers. We are living in thrilling times of profound change and are so blessed to have a teacher to guide us let us each on our spiritual walk shine with this blessing.

My life has been profoundly blessed because of my teacher and learning the divine spiritual wisdom. I cannot imagine a world where everyone could not have this blessing. Let us each rejoice and be the very best students we can be both making our teacher proud and being the messengers of God’s light we are asked to be.

You want me to be grateful for what?


As part of my ongoing spiritual walk I ever so often have to begin again in order to make the necessary adjustments to rise to the next level, whether it be a level of consciousness, or stage of life. The in between stage of growth is where I find myself having the hardest time. The in between state of no longer being where I was and not yet where I am going.

I chant as apart of my spiritual practice and have for over 15 years. I find working the vibration through chanting the most effective way to exact change on the physical level. Awesome! Then comes the day that you realize your practice has become less awe-inspiring and then I change it up. I think of a spiritual practice like a conversation, not always the same but also a sharing between beings. Like all things a spiritual practice that becomes rote is no longer a practice but a habit. A true spiritual practice moves and changes with you just like a conversation moves and changes. We move our practice in order to move the self. I needed to know what to do to change, to get ready for the next spiritual growth spurt.

I went to a class with my teacher having a difficult time with the struggle of life not knowing where I am going and he says practice being grateful. Of course I jump up with the “of course I am grateful”, “I am so grateful for everything I just don’t get why it has to be so hard sometimes.”

Now we know there is no growth without the pain of change. In order to change we have to work our vibration releasing the old inviting in the new. So he told me “you aren’t being grateful for everything.” ” Of course I am, it’s just so hard”blah blah blah

Swimming in the misery of the struggle oh why God why me? He says, “Are you grateful for the struggle? Are you grateful for the confusion you are surrounded by? Are you truly grateful for everything the good and the bad? “Are you grateful for the challenges that are moving you down the path of greater spiritual growth?” “Are you grateful that in this moment you are indeed closer to God?”

I went back to my place to really understand gratefulness on a much wider scale. To be grateful for some of the most difficult things that have happened to me. To be grateful for the hard humans who I have relationships with. To be grateful for the tragedies that have befallen me and my family. And in that moment you see the hand of God for what it is , a hand, help, growth, and movement. Through the adversities of life I scream out to God, through the pain in my life I have searched for God and through all the loss of my life I have found God.

There can be gratefulness in horror when you open your eyes to the widest vision you can imagine for each event in your life, good or bad. Gratefulness is one of the most profound spiritual practices, giving you perspective and frankly it leads to forgiveness, and we all could use some of that.

So I am grateful for every difficult moment, for every happy moment, for everything that has ever pissed me off, and especially to all the things that make me sing. I am grateful!!!! For as I become my very best self, shining like a sun, I know there is nothing more powerful than I Am and certainly nothing powerful enough to bring me down. How can you not be grateful for that? I will practice being grateful.

I am grateful for you!

Why can’t we see?

After reading about the death of Philip Seymour Hoffman I am sick to death of what we cannot see.

I am walking the streets of Santa Monica sick of what we do not see.

I am tired of the words people use and that fact there is no power behind what they say, they talk to hear the sound of their own voice.

I am tired of people putting this idea up on a platform and tearing this idea down.

I am tired of lifting these people up and tearing these people down.

I am tired of how who is important changes from day-to-day.

I am tired of what seems important today is nothing tomorrow and forgotten in a few days.

I am tired of what wasn’t important suddenly being important.

I am tired of the collective “they”.

I am tired of worthy phrases being posted on social media so we can all feel better over nothing.

I am tired of all the spiritually enlightened people, are you really?

I am tired of self-importance, yes yours!

I am tired of feeling invisible.

I am tired of all the other invisible people, I see you.

I am tired of all those who believe themselves to be seen, or “in the know”. that makes you a “they”

I am tired of the division of the sexes, races, genders, religion, money, WTF

Who are “they” anyway?

I am tired that the collect “they”, aren’t as tired as I am, if “they” were the world would change.

I guess nothing changes until “they” want it to.

And we continue to lose people like Philip Seymour Hoffman and others suffering like him, to a world where “they” refuse to see.

Do you see?