when in doubt look for the sun


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I have not felt well this last few days and there is nothing like feeling unwell to skew your world view when you let your emotions run like wild horses through your head and mind. I have like my last blog talks of been manipulated and mighty disappointed so God put me on my back so I could have nothing to do but think on these things. So I did. Then as I felt myself reacting to what is no doubt unfair treatment I read a statement speaking again of the power of faith versus the power of humanity.

When I slip from my true self and flounder in my ego is when negativity will pounce on me like a flea on a dog. Unnoticed at first and itches like hell soon after, the cause being unseen. Take a bath and the flea dies itch goes. Its the same with us when our emotions get the best of us, take a sun bath and the dark of negativity has to flee like the flea. Its an easy answer for what plagues us but its much easier to assign blame and strike out. Which as my iphone lost its mind yesterday and reset itself it was a good lesson in who is in control. Certainly not me, that phone did exactly what it wanted to even as I begged it not to. Same with family and friends.

Manipulation, disappointment, ego driven behavior is something we are all going t have to deal with and negativity is just an easy way to get nearly all of us to react. The master said to turn the other cheek when stomping their lights out might be a more satisfying thought. I’ll never let any one get the upper hand ever again, well, they will… So I feel a little better today and I realize that I did indeed take a huge personal attack and it did make me upset enough to allow weakness in and I became sick. Cause and effect people, the natural laws are in place for us to see the universe at work. Its the light of the sun that becomes the great equalizer. Positive thinking, positive actions led to positive results.

No one can bring us down if they can’t reach us. When are eyes are turned up to the sun the negative forces have to work that much harder. Let it run off of you like water on a ducks back, even fleas don’t really bother dogs they itch and move on. I am going to scratch my itch given to me by the negativity I let get a hold of me then I’m going for a walk in the sun and burn the rest of it out. While living in the north I remember that on a good sun day with below zero temps that sun would blast through my window sending its warmth right to me. So find the sun, drinking in its warmth and let it burn your negativity away. Light beats dark every time.

Manipulation


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There is a terrible precedent that is set in childhood because we are easily manipulated by our circumstances and our families. It’s the first learning curve, who do I trust as we watch ourselves manipulate for another cookie, a later curfew, some extra dollars. At the same time we ourselves are being manipulated by those around us, I’ll take you shopping if you do this, I’ll buy a toy if you’ll be good. Manipulation is a skill. It has also been a survivor skill taught to many young girls as a way to navigate the shark infested waters of a man filled zone. It becomes so easy for people to manipulate their way through life they forget it is a skill and not the truth. It becomes second nature but as in all things truth comes to those who are looking out their eyes desiring the right path rather than those who grow up to be players, blatantly manipulating everything and everyone.

When we fall into someones trap of manipulation it hurts and feels bad especially if the one doing the manipulation is so obviously manipulating you like you don’t have a brain in your head, frankly many don’t. Everyone does it. It is a behavior that has to be managed. It is also an act that can bring karma right to your door. We manipulate because we don’t like the truth or we know that what we desire is wrong in some way. The saying the truth will set you free is correct but who wants to turn in money found on the street, tell someone to quit lying to their spouse. We end up manipulating the truth as much as we manipulate to hide the truth. Again, the truth will set you free but it also might make people mad, really mad.

I don’t like being manipulated. I have been told to do things for the greater good that were out-and-out lies meant to get my money. I have been manipulated into someones bed who did not have my best interest at heart though they would proclaim their love. I have been manipulated by teachers claiming to know what was better for me than the truth I desired even when it hurt to know it. Peoples reactions are often manipulating tactics to get you to do what they want. No one wants to upset or disappoint someone they love but the money you give a drug addict for “rent” is either going up their nose or into a pipe, quit kidding yourself. Alcoholics manipulate, drug addicts, children, parents, friends, lovers, its horrifying and definitely a skill that no one wants to talk about because everyone is doing it.

The only truth is found in your heart. A parent will allow a child to manipulate as a oh isn’t that funny, but if you don’t call them on it eventually your car wont be in the garage and money will be missing. If we don’t hold people to tell the truth they wont, why would they when the skill you allowed to develop is used so easily. How will you answer you child when they tell you, you do it why can’t I?

I hate writing these kind of blogs they are the most under read because the truth is, no one wants to hear the truth. We all want the get out of jail card that we are each willing to give each other just so no one says anything. If your friend catches you cheating you expect them to keep their mouth shut, they will manipulate their way to an excuse. Think of the hedge fund managers who manipulated their way in to pocket books across the world. People we love and trust, politicians, pastors, teachers, you name it, are manipulating everything, its horrifying.

The only recourse is to live with your heart open so you will see the truth and not be used by someones version of the truth. The more you manipulate to get your way is the amount of manipulating that will happen to you. Believe me, you will not like the day so and so said this that or the other, just to get what they wanted, it will feel like shit. Speak your truth stay close to your truth and fix what you yourself broke through the manipulation of the truth.

Disappointment is a bitter pill, don’t swallow it


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Awww disappointment! Receiving or experiencing disappointment is a tough thing for us humans. As soon as it happens it can become a cascading event of bad feelings whether the disappointment is coming from something that was done or left undone, it just doesn’t matter it becomes a doorway to negativity. One that must stay shut. Studying spirituality being religious any of the good feeling projects on the Earth move into a fog of forgetting when we experience disappointment. We become at once lost in our emotions of attachment and I am owed, I was used, I will never get what they get. All part of the game of life and learning what is actually important. Being, right? Being, being a being, not an emotional monster that can’t think straight or stay on the righteous path creating negativity and karma that has to be repaid.

Disappointment is part of life unfortunately, but its a great life lesson. When we expect people to be a certain way that is judgement. When we expect God to treat us a certain way, that is expectation, when we expect those around us not to hurt us, that is attachment. The feelings and actions of those around us is their karma and part of their life journey. Most of the time disappointment is about wanting what you want when you want it. News flash, not going to happen. The best we can do is stay in a place of neutrality understanding there is a bigger story going on than what we understand. You know what they say hindsight is 20/20. There is a reason for that. Life teaches that, that which we don’t understand is something to let go of and let God deal with. Like tragedies and horror on the planet, dear God take it away but for so many hard-headed humans terror and horror is the only language that can change them. God’s work is way passed our understanding.

What I do know and have learned is that when we walk in faith of a greater story, then we can be assured of a greater ending than what we see or are capable of seeing. Jesus spoke parable after parable on the unfairness of life from a human perspective. A wealthy man hires workers for his field and the last hired receive the same pay as the first, they scream unfair we worked longer and the landowner says we made an agreement. When we look around us and do comparisons of any kind is to put yourself in a dangerous position of thinking you know. One has to remember no one knows the mind of God. The universe is also always in a state of balance nothing goes unnoticed.

Disappointment is a false thing, a mind trap meant to keep us in the dark of emotional turmoil when the answer is simply be glad for all that good things that happen to those around you. Be glad that you see God at work. Be happy and uplifting, for those without Divine spiritual awareness see little outside of their eyes than that which benefits them. When we accept with grace everything that is happening to us in our lives, taking steps when necessary to correct that which is wrong towards that which is right, disappointment becomes a great teacher. Do not be a judge unless you are yourself without sin. When the master spoke of how hard it was for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven, he was speaking of our inability to be grateful for what we have and who gave it to us because when we are not believe me that which is in charge will know it and balance will be restored.

When disappointment comes, breath in, let it wash over you like a wave and then release it. You know the saying let go and let God! Soon disappointment will leave and your blessings will reappear. Spend a day blessing everyone and watch how it changes your perspective, you know your blessed, that’s air your breathing right? You are alive, that is a blessing!

let’s talk about love


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Let’s talk about love.

Full Definition of LOVE

1
a (1) :  strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties <maternal love for a child> (2) :  attraction based on sexual desire :  affection and tenderness felt by lovers (3) :  affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests <love for his old schoolmates>

b :  an assurance of affection <give her my love>

2
:  warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion <love of the sea>
3
a :  the object of attachment, devotion, or admiration <baseball was his first love>

b (1) :  a beloved person :  darling —often used as a term of endearment (2) British —used as an informal term of address

4
a :  unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another: as (1) :  the fatherly concern of God for humankind (2) :  brotherly concern for others

b :  a person’s adoration of God

5
:  a god or personification of love
6
:  an amorous episode :  love affair
7
:  the sexual embrace :  copulation
8
:  a score of zero (as in tennis)
9
capitalized Christian Science :  god
All of that they say is love, with sexual desire as number 2, funny isn’t it. There is a misconception about love I fear, a full on thought of love as a warm and fuzzy experience. We have people saying they love each other even when they don’t or using the word love as a, I like you right now, kind of thing. We talk about God’s love but if you mention any form of God’s anger they will quickly change the subject. How do they define that as love?
My mother and I had a very difficult relationship and really my mother did not have a good definition for love. Her mother gave her away as a child so how could she see or understand love? For her love hurt. So that was how it was instilled in me and frankly that was my experience of love, completely condition, you were loved if you were worthy of love. I just didn’t get it until my children were born and later when my son traveled a dark road I realized there was nothing that could move my love from him.
Just a few days ago I was in the space of a woman speaking of her difficulty with her son. I spoke as a mother of such a difficult boy, but she quickly cut me off telling me her son was a heroin user and thus couldn’t be her son any longer. My heart broke for her and her son because mine was too. At 18 she sends him away. Where is her love and why was her fear more important? When my boy spun out of control I grabbed him even harder. I know that love is gross and disgusting sometimes, horrifying and scary. Think of the worse person you can think of, gross horrible, God loves that person. God does not see love as a warm and fuzzy thing. For God love is a verb. Big lesson for us all, especially the judgmental.
I once told my daughter-in-law she had to learn the mother voice. It is the way a mother can stop their child on a dime as they are walking into danger. When I was a young mother my voice could penetrate my children, ask my 33-year-old bi-polar son, it stills has the same effect even today. As a mother I instilled the fear of God, ok me, into them it was my way of letting them know my love was strong enough to step in front of a train or go to hell and get them if need be. Same as God’s love for humanity, the disgusting humans who would hurt others are still loved by God.
Let’s redefine love as the unconditional acceptance of that in you which is greater than your small human self. God loves us just as we are and as we realize that love, our hearts open and we are never the same. To love a disgusting human will allow you to see the child in them, that being that has felt unloved and uncared for and under the watchful eye of love will turn around. Every human desires love, true love, unconditional love. But make no mistake I can love you while screaming at you, God can love you while pulling your life apart. No one said love was always sweet but true love is such a balm for the heart even the ignorant know that.
Go on and show love to your people, be the one who loves “that” person though everyone else will send them away. Love with such a heart that can’t be moved. Now that is power, that is love.

All is well


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I am at a very interesting point in my pursuit of a spiritual path, a path of truth. I have gotten to that point where the knowledge I have found is working its way into my daily life and without thinking I am not reacting but accessing and then acting. Not all of the time, way to human for that, yet…

It is unrealistic to think we will not get pissed off. Even the most enlightened being you can think of is going to get overwhelmed with this play called humanity. Humans are as they are and really we cannot expect any different, said with such disappointment…

But, all is well.

Now here is another idea that can help me past the bullshit I see. I am a doer. If I see an injustice I will speak up. When someone mistreats their child in front of me, I say something. When a partner belittles their partner in front of me, its my eyes they see while their partner is looking down. I have not always thought all is well. As a matter of fact I have thought humanity way past well and sick as hell.

That is a view that doesn’t see beyond to creators will. My mistake was in thinking that free will had a bigger role than it actually does. We are all free to fu*k up our lives as much as we wish and for lots of people it’s the suffering they endure because of their fu*k ups that finally turns them towards the light of a spiritual path. But what had been lost in translation is that everything that is happening is happening as planed. Just as Jesus told Peter he would deny him 3 times, Peter was shocked, “who me”? But when the time came Peter’s free will did deny Jesus 3 times. It was part of the story all along.

When we who walk a spiritual path make every step with the divine in mind we are doing God’s work. It can be a hardship to turn and look at humanity that seems hell-bent on destroying everything on God’s green earth and the inhabitants there in, it becomes for me a need to wear blinders before I am screaming, “destroy us, we know exactly what we are doing and just don’t give a shit anymore”.

I wonder how the movie Noah is going to do? But God made a promise not to do that again so I guess I am going to have to get the phrase all is well firmly planted in my head. God wishes us to look through eyes that know all is well. Look around long enough, live long enough, suffer long enough, and you will get that all is well. Though it sometimes doesn’t look like it or feel like it or even remotely seem like it, all is well.

The big creator in the sky has this story already locked down and it seems God is not into tragic outcomes though a good story always has plenty of tragedy in it. But like a good Hollywood movie usually a good outcome is assured, or frankly who would go. Even in the worst of circumstances we find a silver lining to stories and events and learn that indeed all is well.

It’s a statement of faith. It’s a statement of maturity. It’s a statement given by God. Can’t argue with that. So when Oprah asks me what I know for sure, I am going to say, what I know for sure and beyond any doubt but will stumble to remember over and over again, is that all is well. All is well!