Fatherless children


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I am tired of fatherless children. I am tired of men who have children and then cannot be bothered to finish the job. Sex feels good parenthood, not so much. What is that? Yes I know sometimes it’s women falling down on the job. I know one of these types as well!

I am tired of the worn out single parents who have to hold and burn both ends of a candle. How do you hold a candle with both ends burning? But, that’s what we do. We are mothers and fathers, we have to be. Why do some parents get the get out of jail card, throwing in the towel because the going got rough? I have to stand here and take it. I have to watch my son blow up his life because his desire to live isn’t that high. He doesn’t feel love because half the parenting team didn’t know that love was part of parenting.

Can’t fix what you are too blind to see and are uninterested in knowing, people. Kids are a lot of work, its our karma as parents to stand there and do the work…

All you whining parents bitching about how much you have done for your kids, did you really do anything or get tired of enabling your children and expected your kids to know the difference? Kids need to be parented and it’s not that fun sometimes.

Kids need their parents from one end of life to another. We as parents stand next to our children our entire lives to show our accumulated wisdom as we earn our grey hair. We are not parents for a few years we are forever parents. Why is this a hard concept? Why is it that in my own ignorant background I knew at 18 that being a parent was a forever job. Where is the owner’s manual for having kids so we can get parents to do their fricking jobs? Quit giving up on your children! I am so tired of this situation.

In a spiritually driven life it is this issue that rankles me the most, ok for today! It is so hard being this child’s mom. My son challenges me in ways I would have never imagined. It was hard to be my dads daughter when he kept choosing his wifes over his old life and then I finally realized kids and grandkids were just not his thing. Did you get that, just not his thing, So of course I married men that would say parenthood was just not their thing, they did the same, married new wives and forgot their old life. Of course I would…

I was hurt and now I have hurting children. This is the reason I have a spiritual practice. I have to know and understand a God that would put me in this position and then put my kids in that same position.And by the grace of God my daughter looked on. She watches me struggle to do the right thing when everyone around us is ditching any small parcel of responsibility. She chose carefully a partner with the understanding that that person/ partner would be the other parent. She did it right! It’s a responsibility to choose a parent/partner who is inline with your values and able to complete the job, or at least has the strength to stay with it when the going gets rough. Where are all of these people? I know they have to be out there, the unsung heroes of child rearing.

I need the world to hear the cries of the children. Especially the parents who would refuse to hear their cries. I need the world to know that a child who grows up believing they are not good enough, and not worthy of love are the most dangerous people on the planet. We cannot have a world of humans who have love in their heart when we allow children to be brought into a world where love is absent. Love your children. Love all the children.

It must be a hard concept to understand that the children of today are the leaders of tomorrow and these kids are being brought up on video games with a total disregard for life, and role models that proclaim money and fame are the answer. We need people of integrity to stand up. A person with children needs to know that at the end of your life when everyone else is gone, your money your fame and all that’s left is your used up self, that child you neglected will have your ass in a nursing home. Why would they do their job of tending to your aging ass when you couldn’t be bothered to do yours?

Enjoy the nursing home!

Stand up parents, stand up and do your job!

Difficult days


There is never going to be an early warning sign that big trouble is afoot. It will blindside you with its horror leaving you reeling with bruises all over your heart and soul. It is, I am sorry to say, a part of our growth and the forward push for a person on a spiritual path. To think that having God or spirit in your life will make life easier is like saying you can diet when there are no cookies in your house or people bringing them in. Life is not like that, we are to be challenged until we can withstand any and every horror coming our way. If we have not learned to live under pressure or learned how to stand up in life when everyone around us is sitting down, we have not done our job.

We are each charged with cultivating the strength we need to deal with the kind of pressure that exists in our world. Many people have stressful lives, I would venture to say most people have stressful lives, it’s how you handle it that counts. For me it has been the continual search for the ability to walk in faith. Holding onto the knowing that a higher power is at work and thank God for that. I can’t do it alone. I physically have to without family support I am alone, again a big why I have a spiritual path that allows me to have a spiritual community to lean on.

When I say I have God I mean I have a relationship with a higher power that through my work I have come to understand as a connection with a force moving through our world that is responding to me. My chanting practice allowed me to open that door, now I can experience what I believe to be the presence of God within me, my higher self, ok face it it’s a force or being more powerful that me and when I follow the directive of living in faith seeing with love even the horror of my life falls into perspective.

It is hard being human right now. I see horror everywhere. I want to fall on my knees and cry my eyes out for the pain and suffering that is getting ready to happen to people I love, people who have no idea that that was a plate glass they just walked into. In one minute your entire life can change forever and damage done that can’t be taken back.

We must cultivate a relationship with our souls, with our creator, we must for our own salvation. If we are to have peace, love and happiness, we must stand in our power, walk in faith and move through life with our hearts leading the way. We have to start, there is just to much pain…

Live consciously!


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It would seem we are living consciously. You look around people are doing their work going about their lives but if we but scratch the surface most everyone is asleep at the wheel. How many times have you been driving your car only to realize you have been driving without even being aware of it? How many times do you leave your house wondering where are my glasses, my keys, my anything? How many times do you go into a room and can’t remember why you are there? These are just a few of the many examples of how we are living an unconscious life.

Doing yoga and having a spiritual practice develops our intuition, this then aids us in our daily life. How many times just as you were getting ready to leave did you think oh I needed that, paper, list or, anything? Something made you remember something you were just getting ready to forget. This is an example of a more conscious self. Now you are being aided in your day by a greater version of yourself. Being conscious is a choice being unconscious is a default button that is inside of us because frankly if you are not going to do the job of being aware of your surroundings and what you are doing, your subconscious mind steps in to do the work.

When our brains are so involved with an idea or repressed emotions or daydreams our subconscious minds performs our tasks, that’s us on automatic pilot. For example, I live in a building that has electronic door keys, the door locks as soon as it shuts just like a hotel door, you must have your keys in hand if you walk out your door. I am doing laundry, its on another floor, must have keys. I walk up to change the machines and head to the elevator back to my apartment, no keys in hand. In the moment I was so angry with myself as it simply meant I was walking unconsciously allowing my thoughts to override my conscious self. I needed to have those keys.

Now its been awhile since I have done this, its embarrassing, you have to make phone calls, oh thats right I left my phone plugged in, I don’t have my phone, she panics, and panics and panics!!!!! I go back upstairs, I think I saw the housekeeping staff up there, walking while I was trying to calm my mind. I am going through the oh my God’s of the moment as I see the once open door now closed, the housekeeping cart was gone. It was just here I scream in my mind!!! In that moment I glance in the laundry room and my keys were sitting there on the machine I had just emptied. And there it is…

Living an unconscious life can lead to this kind of continuous nightmare of not knowing what the H is going on being led around by your emotions, stress induced reactions and an overall not awesome kind of existence. Yes, life is hard and removing the self through unconsciousness, daydreams or alcohol induced stupidness is just not the way to handle things. Looking out your eyes and really seeing what is in front of you, thats consciousness. Being in the moment not a victim of the moment, is conscious living.

Well I have to go get my clothes out of the dryer, keys in hand. Stay calm and live consciously!!!