Almost done


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How do you write about those times in your life that push you so hard that you can hear your back breaking under the pressure. I for one get extremely tired of it. But it completely speaks to what this last 2 years have been for me and I am almost done. Done with the bull shit, done with falseness, done with fake spirituality, done with lies, done with manipulators, done, done and done.

What is with women who will beat an idea, hope or dream to death? “It will work, he will change, she will do what she said, they will keep their promises”, done, done and done. No they won’t, nor will he/she/they ever.

A human reveals their truth easily but often through rose colored glasses we refuse to see, or acknowledge what we instinctively know, and then we will walk right into a glass door all the while pretending this isn’t who they revealed themselves to be.

I’ve been teaching about self responsibility as long as I can remember and here I stand having denied my own truth. I gave away my power and lessons learned are having to be relearned. Thank God for our brains! Through my own volition I can make mistakes and correct them as often as I need to, that’s life. That’s why we are on a practice planet working at being human. But it doesn’t change that I am done dealing with this.

We are at a collective time of hardship on our planet, end times and all of that. We must have our eyes open and our hearts and minds engaged and their-in lies the problem. When life gets tough we close our eyes and ears singing lalalalalala I can’t hear you, so its not real. We spend time fooling ourselves until it is written on our face or reveled in our sickness and/or broken relationships.

Look up, Listen up, for the truth is there to see and is being sung for us all to hear.

This is not an easy ride; people are hurting, people are dying, hearts are being broken and lives are being changed forever. I am almost done.

After the death of my grandson my life was never going to be the same again because I would never be able to think on my pathetic weakness without remembering the horror my daughter had to endure. I allowed weakness to overtake me and hide the truth that was in front of my face. I had made a tactical error and trusted the untrustworthy. I had to face the lies I was telling myself. I leaned on myself rather than turning to God, the higher power that has always lead me.

My mistake, and I am done.

 

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