Why write, why share? Those words echoing like a mantra marching in this burned out teacher’s head.
“It has been such a difficult period time”, she keeps telling herself, which is unbelievable as she has moved through so many other “cycles of difficult” times. Gut wrenching times. Down on your knees times. Pain melting your face times.
In the human world this shit is never ending.
And as old as I am now this should be of no surprise. We are, after all, alive and certainly not going to sail above the fray of the human world of emotions. The fray, great word for that wind moving rapidly across our world, carrying the sound of our frustration, broken dreams and the dawning awareness of lies. There never was a goal to obtain, but a line of goals to move towards. There was never fame to be had but the role of the master mentor or teacher saying/showing, “I did it this way, how will you go your way?”. There were never riches to be hoarded but shared, nothing to be owned, but left behind, life work wasted if greed your motivator.
Though, you later learn, and hopefully not too late, that you can live forever if you choose. But only as the twinkling in somebody else’s eyes. A part of the story that lifted your family, or your contribution to history however small, all good deeds, generosity of spirit, the constant prayers, it all matters, after all.
But to my great disappointment people are followers not trailblazers and….
then I got pissed off again and withdrew from the world, you people do not deserve me!
The last time I thought of sharing my thoughts was just as I was finishing up vomiting the final emotions of the many betrayals that had marred my path for the last 6 years. Ever pulling myself up by the bootstraps I was screaming mad as I realized, once again, that was the job of being human. Learn Grow Flow.
So learn to use your body as a focus. It’s the body you were assigned, the one you are living in. Besides, you can’t trade in, so look down at it, there you are, See, it’s you! Learn how it works, learn what hurts it, learn why, blame no one! Learn Grow Flow
This is the power and magic found in self knowledge, a knowing and assurance of the Self so deep, so seated it could never be moved by the likes of man, the words of a teacher, the silence of loved ones. But this kind of specific information must be mined by the human occupying the space of the body vessel. No other way.
Start there! And me too!
Back to work, back to exercise, for the mind the body the spirit. Make it your job to make yourself the best version there is…