Are you a human being…


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This is a much repeated phrase that needs more repeating because it has constantly gone past the minds of all the human doings. We are doing and doing and doing, all the while claiming our being.

Here’s a line for you. If you find yourself sick, ill in any way, you have separated yourself from all the human beings. A human doing is a human alone, which in and of itself is impossible, but through our deluded ego we believe our doing is an act of our own will. We believe that we exist outside of creation. We believe in what we see, the world around us, but this does not include that which we do not believe or cannot see. I like them but I do not like those “others”.

Myself even, deluded into believing any other had power over me, or my thoughts. That any disadvantage I feel, comes from a lack my ego says comes from another, trying to take from me. Through all my spiritual work this belief has stuck, like a nail in my shoe no less. We are all deluded into the belief that we are lacking or something is missing and only in being a human doing can we fix it. Yet each human doing trying to fix that which is unbroken is swirling in a cycle of endless repetition of more and more doing. Getting no where really, really fast.

I have searched in dozens of spiritual communities for someone who “had it”. Someone not held in the fake belief that we need to do something to get “it”. I’ve encountered “enlightened” people still selling their beliefs when the belief of we are all one as humans beings and part of God, doesn’t need to be sold. Even our spiritual leaders are lead to believe they must sell their beliefs so that we can become humans doing the “right thing” in some “right” way.

What if freedom, true freedom which exists in the mind, was free and ours for the taking. What if the truth we desperately seek from someone we feel; more important, smarter, better able, really was none of those things. What if the guy next to you was as valuble to God as you are. What if every so called bad person was actually a human being trying to get to their truth. What if instead of seeing others as good or bad, smart or stupid, right or wrong, we began seeing them all as children of God.

Do we really think the God force of creation, created you, but not you, them but not those, this but not that. See how deluded we have become. We choose for the creative force who is worthy, us, human doings, putting ourselves in the creative hot seat, hmmm…

Do you know the mind of God? Do you think there is a human doing that does? Only a human being, exisiting in the light of God, is that you?

While many seem far away from the true teachings, any teachings really, they are still here and a part of us, you know human beings. What if your presense as a loving inclusive being made the difference to someone lost in ignorance of their true birthright. What if you chose to believe we are all a part of the creative force, beloved of God.

Underneath the pain and ignorance of human life is the mind of God at work, its not easy. I’m not God. I don’t know why my baby grandson had to die, or any child for that matter, but in the mind of God is the answer and that’s where I desire my mind to be attached. And as a mother, when truth comes to me, I desire for my children to have it, just as I imagine the mind of creator desires for its.

I reach for the truth for my creations as I know God reaches for me, and you, and you over there, all of us human beings. You are a part of humanity and you didn’t have to do a thing but be…

See them as children


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It doesn’t take long to get disappointed with humanity. Turn on the news, read a paper, horror, after a while there is for me a decided need to separate self from “them”. I am not like “them”.

I walk through the streets of Santa Monica and I see all manner of life and life forms, I see too much and I started looking away. I didn’t want “them” to see me and I didn’t want to see “them”. I am not “them”.

My own depression was making the separation worse I was looking through veiled eyes. My own pain and loss was coloring how I felt. As I looked out amongst others while walking I would find myself jealous of their joy, their love, their family, so I looked away from “them”. Or I would get superior feeling blessed around those less fortunate and try to help them, “them”.

I wasn’t seeing the truth around me at all. Did I think I was from another world,

I was talking to someone the other day, trying to share my woe’s and how I felt within 2 minutes, I doubt that long, they interrupted me with their own story and boom the conversation I needed was moved and the focus placed on them. Over and over it happened. I became aware of their need for me to listen to their story far outweighed my need to tell mine. They needed me to listen like a child needing reassurance or attention. It was happening all the time in a lot of conversations, it became about “them”.

As I look around at humanity I see thousands of people not paying attention to what’s going on or who they are talking to, or where they are going. People’s personal needs are so overwhelming that they are reaching out to everyone and anyone trying to get the attention they need, often by tripping into someone. Just like children. Some are getting attention in the most vile of ways. They have no need of attention they have lost hope.

So trying to readjust the lens I looked through and to correct my vision, I began to see everyone around me as a child. Big, small, old, young, I saw everyone as a child.

And then I could see that we are all children in different states of being and development, existing in a gigantic family of many diverse children. Most do not feel seen or heard by their families, society or a God who seems very far away.

Like children we need to slow ourselves down and really listen to what is being said to us. Like children we need to make sure we are present in the moment of any conversation or exchange so that we are on top of what is happening, not running into trouble because we are distracted. It takes no effort at all to say or hear the wrong thing. And like children we get our feelings hurt and lose trust.

Like children we also need to hear with clear ears. With neutrality and not a 3 year olds pent-up frustrated ego. Like with children we need to make sure our word is true, not misunderstood or misconstrued. Like children we need to really listen so children and others can be heard.

We need to say what needs to be said and hear what needs to be heard.

When we see out to the worlds children and the vast experiences of life and suffering we need to remember that the ones acting out in such horrific ways were once children whose hearts were turned and like children they don’t know how to forgive and forget, that what you give you get, and we are all in this together.

Take in a breath, its how we are connected in the physical world, we all need air to breath. Thats why its called the breath of life and why God is called the breath of life. We need God for our breath of life.

Reach out to those hurting around you and see them as children needing your care and love.

See “them” as children and they move from “them” to children of God. It’s a tough time in the world, be the spirit of love and healing, help and guidance, that is desperately needed.

See them as children and help them all. Reach out your hand to help.

Being real


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As a woman with a mouth, meaning I say it like it is and I am not into sugaring coating things for the masses, if you don’t get it or like it, move on! The problem is trying to be a part of spiritual communities that pander to their community rather than teach, because 1) they don’t want to upset anyone with their beliefs, 2)they want your money they could careless what you think, 3) they have no real interest in your spiritual growth, at all. Pandering has never been beneficial to anyone or anything. Real change can only occur when pain does the driving. None of us wants to be uncomfortable, me least of all, but in the end pain is what moves humans from one state to the next. We need our spiritual communities to be better about teaching this.

Women right now as I see it, are more interested in looking good than sounding good, they would rather feel good but they don’t mean deep down inside, they mean lets have a glass of wine, so I can feel good. We are ignoring our power and subjecting ourselves to the new norm which is shut up, keep your moth closed and do what I say, oh thats the old way, never worked, never will. Real women are not told to shut up because who would walk up to that raging power and who has the courage… they don’t they aim guns, they wrap their hands around our throats, they threaten our existence. That is not keeping it real, thats showing how fear motivates being unreal.

We were meant to be real. We were each given a voice a point of view and the mental capacity to be all we desired to be. The world is a mental projection of our thoughts and feelings. If you feel bad about your life, chances are your life sucks, and sickness is looking for you in what ever way it can get to you. Do you remember when women, “went through the change” they spoke quietly of those women because it was like they were losing their minds. Did it ever occur to anyone maybe at the time of the change a woman has finally had about enough of the fricking weakness that is the leadership of our families and our world.

I am teaching my daughter how to be a powerful woman and what that means as a mother and partner. I am showing her the best I can that it is her energy field that holds her house together and helps her to understand her partner and her children. We have to be taught to listen to the wisdom that is in us, and hear the growing strength of our internal voice. For most women it’s the voice of their mother, holy shit, that is horrifying if the mother wasn’t able to mother, so then we must mother ourselves so we can mother our own children. We have to be real to our situation not dream of butterfly kisses, if you are down in the trenches like most of us there is not much sweet going on down there.

The strength of a woman is in her voice. The power of a woman is the light shining from herself like a shield, the love of a woman is in her eyes, sparkling when filled with love or dim when not. When we accept the norm of todays standard I find I am looking at women whose face registers nothing but the needle they worshiped for the God of youth, thats not keeping it real, thats selling yourself, please don’t give me that, we have the right to remain as young as possible in whatever way, nope “Don’t go gentle into that dark night” be real, being who you are makes you powerful, it is not how you look, nor has it ever been.

Those women who move through social situations based on looks are the ones who lose their shit mid 40’s, it is beyond they understanding that their power had nothing to do with how they look. It is and always has been dependent on the “who” you are and whether or not you are in touch with your source, are you? This is what the spiritual community was meant to fix. Becoming your best self, through the knowledge of that which is more powerful than you and then learning to hear the voice that loves you supports you and desires to lead you to success. Perfection is a process that goes on and on never finished so perfect yourself by staying real.

So again, whose voice are you listening to, and are you lowering your voice in order not to “upset” the status quo?

Are you being real? Be real in your grace!

 

It’s a new year


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As per requested, I guess, how else do you explain it, I spent the first 10 days of the year on my back, over the toilet, on my knees, praying for death. God has an exceptionally good sense of humor and a high tolerance for my screaming into the universe, no matter what “they say” if no body is in space then who hears my screams, so why would God care! So scream I did, sick as a dog, why me God!!! That was the first part of my new year. Yeah new years!

In the spiritual tradition it is said that the first 12 days of the year set the stage for the upcoming months of the year, day 1 corresponds to month 1 and so on. One way to look at it is I will be sick and tired of most of this year, because I spent the first 10 days sick and tired.

So I will rewrite what it means to be sick for the first part of the new year.

I say, rather than a negative my year is screwed, I got it all out of the way!

Every moment that I would have had to waste being sick and tired of the world, its people, the horrible situations everywhere, all of it, I can move on from horrified and sickened by the behavior of humans, ( they need to look up the definition of human because really it would be better if they would just try to act humane), the treatment of women and children, the destruction of our world home by the greediest MF’s who ever were allowed to walk on this beautiful Earth. I have no need to hate on any of it because I spent the first 10 days hating it all.

So now I can move on to more profitable thoughts and ideas. Rather, I will speak with the great creator on the allowing of certain subhuman behavior to continue, I will raise my voice for the oppressed especially to the men on this planet who still believe that women and children are possessions and not humans and I will move to see more humans acting greater than, not less than, the human being that they are.

This year is the 9 of a cycle of 10, 2+0+1+6=9, we are finishing certain behaviors, we are stopping ignorance and violence and if you are not on board because it means you might not be the biggest, or the richest, or the prettiest or the whateverest, beware, this planet is going to be returned to its rightful owners.

2016 will be the year of the return to humanity, we will move to be a great race, living on a great planet, worshiping the great power that makes it all work. It’s not human! That’s why they call the power God, thank God!

Are you speaking to a women with that mouth?


I have been taking some time off from the spiritual. I went to NYC with my daughter and left my computer in LA. I purposely sat everything I was doing down because my heart was growing weary of what I was hearing in the world. Nothing but women being maligned. The men are going after women, there is about as much violence going towards women as there is in the wars killing our children. I am as sick of it as I can be. Men come into this world through a woman, it’s the only way to get here. Yet they would kill us off while everyone stands and watches.

Women are killed for having breasts and a vagina, some women are killed because they don’t have a vagina, yet! Some women are killed because they worship God or Jesus or Allah or Buddha or Joe, or Mary, or a tree or the wind. We can be killed for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time because the wrong ears were listening. Some women are killed because their partner says if I can’t have you no one can. Some women are killed because their partner just doesn’t want to deal with them anymore and hell I am not paying you child support. Some even kill their children.

There are woman whose bodies are mutilated, they don’t own their body, do you own yours? I live in America and am middle aged and the other day in central park a man became interested in me as I walking and caused me great distress as I was walking by myself was very much alone. In that moment I realized again as I woman that that large man could have had me and not one person would have done anything about it. I stood amongst others unwilling to take another step, then I sat down and he just kept watching me. Finally he got I wasn’t moving so he did! Uncool!!!!!!!!!

I am constantly surrounded by people with their head in the sand, or up their ass. Children are being screamed at, husbands are yelling at their wives. I stared at one man berating his woman, I just kept looking at him as he was going at her, then I said,”are you talking to a woman with that mouth, didn’t your mother teach you respect?”

Every time I do that, because frankly its instinct for me to stand up to bullies, I am aware of the danger I put myself in, frankly I am ready to start training tae kwon do again, really, do want a piece of me???

My daughter who I hold in highest esteem has with the loss of a child, inside her, like the others who have lost a child, the pain that surpasses all understanding. So I when my heart was disheartened my the hard hearted people around me I needed to be with her. I need to know that the power of a woman still exists. All I hear now is screaming. So I stand next to her righteous and the knowledge that my granddaughter will be tough like us.

There is so much loss and so much pain and in our world we are distracted by the bullshit of men. We are still giving away our power, is it in hope that man might still turn this around? We women are giving birth to men and it is men that are destroying women, so ladies we are doing a disservice to the world by not holding control over our families and loving our men enough to teach tolerance. It starts at home!

In the end it will be women who fix this, the men are busy trying to control everything. The women need to get back to work. Stop being a victim, feel inside of your self the power of creation. God put it inside of us we are the fruit of God, the bearers of life, not men! NOT MEN! The job is ours, not theirs!!!!! SO women I need you to get back to work, love your family enough to sacrifice your ego and do your job, raise your children, love your partner and do it until the job is done!

I want my children and grandchildren to live in a world where the women are cherished for being the life blood of humanity and men are cherished for keeping the treasure safe. For there is no power greater for a man than the true love of a great partner. And if they knew that, they would stop killing us.

Mothers teach your children well!

The end is near


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The end of the year that is…

We are heading into the time of deciding what to plant in our mental garden to make seedlings of things and ideas that will gestate during the winter months for completion in next year’s spring.

So many people want the instantaneous gratification of I think it so it must be so. Now while this will get you results put some effort into it, take a stand, do some work, and you will move in the direction you’re desiring. God willing!

People want to quit their job now because they aren’t satisfied. People want to leave their partners, children, old parents, worn out dogs, we are a throw away society and see little good in working on or for something. But do you want to be left, thrown out when your end is near, when your worthiness is deemed not so much?

You reap what you sow, so if you are steeped in horror, check your recent past, keep going back, the seed of your folly is sitting back there, a moment, a decision, something you did started the chain of events you are living through now.

Lets be honest with ourselves for a moment, really, you know what you are doing, you know why you are doing what you are doing. People who claim, not to know, are manipulating you and themselves. That’s not cool and certainly not the kind of role model we need in todays chaotic world. Start looking in the mirror for your most obvious flaw, the one that gets you every time.

Drunk dialing the ex, driving by your old house, Facebook stalking, crying over a failed relationship, career, blaming the ex, blaming the parents, blaming the government, blaming aliens, consuming jealousy, small mindedness, narrow-mindedness, rigid righteousness, the list goes on, you know your own weaknesses.

So as we draw towards the dark time of the year I have a suggestion, if change is really on your mind. It’s on a lot of people’s mind but working on the personal self is a bigger issue for most and not something people do willingly.

But you can, you can make a list of a certain behavior you wish to work on and little by little with constant forgiveness and vigilance you can make positive change in your life.

Start the work of developing your seed idea and then look for tools to help you get through it. Some ideas

Stop smoking

Eat better

Develop better family relationships,

Make better more uplifting friends

Work towards developing a positive spirit

Stop swearing( I f*&king hate this one)

Find a new teacher, coach, lover, friend

Be a better parent, partner, friend, lover, child, sister, brother,

Be better

Take small steps and do the work you have no idea how empowering it is to put your own will power to work. I swear(hahaha) it will work. Get a calendar of the upcoming winter season and plot your chart, keep track of what you are working on, journal about it.

For once take it seriously. The world is going to get more chaotic and dark, we need to be committed in our drive to be a better person and to be part of the movement towards love and move      away from greed.

So as the end approaches be prepared for a new you in time for spring. Anything is possible you just have to take that first step,

Go and prepare for the end…

I’m fine


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Don’t you get like that, just wishing people could see there is no real way you could be fine yet you are, fine, that is…just fine. After they ask you know they don’t really want to know if you are fine because they need you to be fine. So you are, just fine. But inside you are far from fine.

Then there are the others who when you look at them you can see the pressure and force they are using to keep up appearances, really you recognize the look of horror just behind their eyes…

“are you ok?”,

“no,umm yes, I’m fine.”

How is it we keep saying we are fine?

I see not fine when walking around and through groups of people. I see that look of things are not ok. It’s a stare of vacant eyes, a disconnect from reality because as you say are you ok, they come bouncing back into their bodies, yes, “I’m fine.”

No, you are not! It’s written on your face, this truth they themselves cannot see, they are not ok.

Our outsides need to match our insides, without that we become out of sync with ourselves.

Sometimes the one doing the asking, are you ok, was sent to help you. A Being put right in your path to assist you, sometimes with an encouraging word, sometimes with a, I know someone you can meet. But you turn them away with your unconscious I’m fine. We need to answer with consciousness when someone asks us, “Are you ok?”

It’s not that heroic to tell someone you are ok if there are tears in your eyes and you obviously need help. It’s not heroic to keep stuff so trapped inside of you it seeps out in not so awesome ways, if someone offers help, take it!!!!!!!

“I’m fine” said over and over when the opposite is true can be just a weakness of ego and a symptom of being a victim.

“I’m fine” said with determination works as a great spiritual tool especially when you realize you have lost your voice and strength, then you can work your self-power by seeing and believing, “I’m fine”, Right… fake it until you make it… new habits of positive self-talk indeed lift vibration bringing you in alignment with more positive things happening in your life. But you have to say it and mean it. Use it as a tool of self-growth and self-encouragement.

The minute your voice changes it into, I”M FINE or say it in a whine, is the minute the energy changes and it becomes ineffective and wrong. Try to be more real with your self and speak your truth. You will feel the strength of your true voice return.

Know that truly being fine is the goal. So be fine when you are fine, and be fine when you can be fine, fake being fine only when you know you are just experiencing a bump in the road, but don’t fake fine when you are far from being fine, that is not fine at all!