Almost done


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How do you write about those times in your life that push you so hard that you can hear your back breaking under the pressure. I for one get extremely tired of it. But it completely speaks to what this last 2 years have been for me and I am almost done. Done with the bull shit, done with falseness, done with fake spirituality, done with lies, done with manipulators, done, done and done.

What is with women who will beat an idea, hope or dream to death? “It will work, he will change, she will do what she said, they will keep their promises”, done, done and done. No they won’t, nor will he/she/they ever.

A human reveals their truth easily but often through rose colored glasses we refuse to see, or acknowledge what we instinctively know, and then we will walk right into a glass door all the while pretending this isn’t who they revealed themselves to be.

I’ve been teaching about self responsibility as long as I can remember and here I stand having denied my own truth. I gave away my power and lessons learned are having to be relearned. Thank God for our brains! Through my own volition I can make mistakes and correct them as often as I need to, that’s life. That’s why we are on a practice planet working at being human. But it doesn’t change that I am done dealing with this.

We are at a collective time of hardship on our planet, end times and all of that. We must have our eyes open and our hearts and minds engaged and their-in lies the problem. When life gets tough we close our eyes and ears singing lalalalalala I can’t hear you, so its not real. We spend time fooling ourselves until it is written on our face or reveled in our sickness and/or broken relationships.

Look up, Listen up, for the truth is there to see and is being sung for us all to hear.

This is not an easy ride; people are hurting, people are dying, hearts are being broken and lives are being changed forever. I am almost done.

After the death of my grandson my life was never going to be the same again because I would never be able to think on my pathetic weakness without remembering the horror my daughter had to endure. I allowed weakness to overtake me and hide the truth that was in front of my face. I had made a tactical error and trusted the untrustworthy. I had to face the lies I was telling myself. I leaned on myself rather than turning to God, the higher power that has always lead me.

My mistake, and I am done.

 

walk in grace


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I do a lot of walking so I see a lot of things. I see the looks on peoples faces, I hear their conversations. I see which way they have their gaze. It feels like walking through everyone’s living room sometimes, I see too much. I have seen peoples private parts, yes I am talking walking on the street. I have seen bad looks in mean people’s eyes. I have seen lust filled eyes ogling boys, ogling girls. Wrapped in the arms of depression I am looking to see something and I am seeing something else. We are all lost, looking for something.

Sometimes we are looking for relief. Sometimes we are looking for the door. Either way to win in the perceived war of this time is to walk in grace. To walk in fear just makes matters worse.

Either we trust in the process we proclaim our faith in or we should shut our mouths and ride the waves of our fate given lives. To pretend in this day and age that we are victims of anything beyond our own limited minds is to state your immaturity. You are responsible for your life and your reactions to it, plain and simple.

The next step is remembering the higher power or vibration in charge of it all. We are all moving, what you see is not all you can get. When we choose to walk in grace then we walk with an invisible mantle that says, “Its all good, God’s got this.” Unfortunately we wear a mantle that proclaims our victimhood, “I don’t have this, my life is out of control” We think we can think ourselves out of our troubles, when all we need to do is continue to live our best lives and watch how our steps are led, whether in times of joy or strife.

Walking in grace is walking with the confidence in a higher power that not only has your back but allows you to fall flat on your face so you become bigger and better than you ever dreamed of. In whatever way you believe walk in that spirit, so others see how your path works for you.

Proclaim your faith by living your faith, do it by walking in grace!