Cloudy days


th-3.jpg

Cloudy days are a visual reminder of the veil in front of your eyes, or that which is keeping the false self engaged. Think right now, am I surround by false thoughts and impressions? Are they about myself, or the world around me?
Is that negativity live streaming in front of your eyes?
The uncleaned mind becomes filled with all the images, thoughts and feelings, amassed each day. This creates a cloud through which your perceptions and judgements must fight through, for you to see, reality that is… Without a meditation practice whether chanting or in silence, the clouds may never clear and sadly you may never even know they are there.
Today the clouds are your teacher. Are they easy to see through or dense and impenetrable?
Learn about the cloud in front of your eyes and then
learn how to move it.

Does it take strength to be strong?


Unknown.jpeg

 

And does it make you strong to have strength?

There is a yoga sequence we do called t-sequence, you stand feet together, arms out, shoulder height elbows straight, like a T. We hold this in class anywhere from 3 minutes( I wish) to however long teacher decides we need to have our arms out straight without screaming for mercy. Try it, see how long you can do it! Because it’s funny, women with no real body strength are so much more likely to be able to hold their arms out longer than men who claim to be strong.

Eventually we get it does not take being strong to have strength. I may not be strong but don’t you mess with me or you will see my strength.

Being strong is awesome I need someone strong to open things and destroy things but thats it. I’ll need your strength for every thing else. Strong will not hold my heart, it will not ease my pain, it will not kiss the boo boo away, but your strength will.

I don’t need you to lift a car today I need you to have the strength to sit with me while I feel this way, and cry or laugh. Your strength gives me the freedom to be vulnerable. If you wave your strong in my face I may falter and not speak to you. I need strength to get me through.

When I reach for creator because there is no one else to reach towards I need creator’s strength. I need to know I’ll be ok and that God has my back. Because you people who claim to be strong often run when the going gets tough. You may be strong but truly you are weak. What happens to you when the strong is gone?

I’m tired of strong, I’ve been strong my entire life in every way possible, I have tried to be so strong until life got so hard, so difficult, so painful, that I let the pile of control I was holding fall to the floor. I told using manipulative people to hit the road. I refused the strong arm applied to make me feel weak and unsure. I refused the strong worded opinionated human and had them take their story of strong somewhere else.

In essence I told strong to move on and I felt my strength comeback to me.

walk in grace


Unknown.png

I do a lot of walking so I see a lot of things. I see the looks on peoples faces, I hear their conversations. I see which way they have their gaze. It feels like walking through everyone’s living room sometimes, I see too much. I have seen peoples private parts, yes I am talking walking on the street. I have seen bad looks in mean people’s eyes. I have seen lust filled eyes ogling boys, ogling girls. Wrapped in the arms of depression I am looking to see something and I am seeing something else. We are all lost, looking for something.

Sometimes we are looking for relief. Sometimes we are looking for the door. Either way to win in the perceived war of this time is to walk in grace. To walk in fear just makes matters worse.

Either we trust in the process we proclaim our faith in or we should shut our mouths and ride the waves of our fate given lives. To pretend in this day and age that we are victims of anything beyond our own limited minds is to state your immaturity. You are responsible for your life and your reactions to it, plain and simple.

The next step is remembering the higher power or vibration in charge of it all. We are all moving, what you see is not all you can get. When we choose to walk in grace then we walk with an invisible mantle that says, “Its all good, God’s got this.” Unfortunately we wear a mantle that proclaims our victimhood, “I don’t have this, my life is out of control” We think we can think ourselves out of our troubles, when all we need to do is continue to live our best lives and watch how our steps are led, whether in times of joy or strife.

Walking in grace is walking with the confidence in a higher power that not only has your back but allows you to fall flat on your face so you become bigger and better than you ever dreamed of. In whatever way you believe walk in that spirit, so others see how your path works for you.

Proclaim your faith by living your faith, do it by walking in grace!

On being instead of doing


Unknown.png

These are tumultuous times! Problems with the environment natural disasters and the personal life of most of us is being thrown into the air. Its time to change people or like the hard wood you will be snapped. Its time to be like the bamboo, bendable, changeable, adaptable, surely you feel this. The old ways are just not going to do, we need new answers to old questions.

Like most, my life is in an in-between space, the one between my old life and the new budding one, to young to be its own, yet I must nurture what I do not know is coming. Change is in the air but so is chaos hard to read the signs. No wonder our bodies are a mess there are mixed messages running the airwaves. Where do we go for help? What do we do when we feel overwhelmed?

As a very mental person, I am always thinking, always thinking. On a walk recently I was out of my mind with an issue that has been plaguing me, the what do I do? It seems so trivial in a world with so much pain but every human going through a life changing life transformation is hurting in some way. Some in small ways, a little dissatisfaction with their present situation, others downright depressed over the oh my God of it all. What are we supposed to do?

If you know me you know I have conversations with God, like Jesus said when asked how do we pray, he said, pray like you are talking to your father, I talk to God in prayer. Lately the conversations have been heated as I feel desperate in my knowing that I’m not where I am supposed to be or doing what I am supposed to be doing, the feeling is undeniable.

In walks the idea of faith, faith is continually moving when you see nowhere to go. I am trying to walk in faith like I am held and lead, but my mind makes me a slave to the oh my God what am I supposed to be doing, over and over. So I say to God, I just don’t feel right, I just don’t feel like I am doing what I am supposed to be doing or I should be doing more, Oh my God please,

I get this message back, “What do you think I am doing out here? DO you think I worry about my work or where I am going to go? DO I worry about being in the right space, I am everything, everywhere. DO I plead to the heavens to be heard by my very creation? I, God do not have to do anything, nothing at all because I am being everything all of the time. Look at your arm, it says be still and know I am God,

so know I am God and doing it by being God.” Awesome!

Then we can go back to being human beings and not humans doing.

Let’s BE with God so God can Be with us.

 

Being real


Unknown.jpeg

As a woman with a mouth, meaning I say it like it is and I am not into sugaring coating things for the masses, if you don’t get it or like it, move on! The problem is trying to be a part of spiritual communities that pander to their community rather than teach, because 1) they don’t want to upset anyone with their beliefs, 2)they want your money they could careless what you think, 3) they have no real interest in your spiritual growth, at all. Pandering has never been beneficial to anyone or anything. Real change can only occur when pain does the driving. None of us wants to be uncomfortable, me least of all, but in the end pain is what moves humans from one state to the next. We need our spiritual communities to be better about teaching this.

Women right now as I see it, are more interested in looking good than sounding good, they would rather feel good but they don’t mean deep down inside, they mean lets have a glass of wine, so I can feel good. We are ignoring our power and subjecting ourselves to the new norm which is shut up, keep your moth closed and do what I say, oh thats the old way, never worked, never will. Real women are not told to shut up because who would walk up to that raging power and who has the courage… they don’t they aim guns, they wrap their hands around our throats, they threaten our existence. That is not keeping it real, thats showing how fear motivates being unreal.

We were meant to be real. We were each given a voice a point of view and the mental capacity to be all we desired to be. The world is a mental projection of our thoughts and feelings. If you feel bad about your life, chances are your life sucks, and sickness is looking for you in what ever way it can get to you. Do you remember when women, “went through the change” they spoke quietly of those women because it was like they were losing their minds. Did it ever occur to anyone maybe at the time of the change a woman has finally had about enough of the fricking weakness that is the leadership of our families and our world.

I am teaching my daughter how to be a powerful woman and what that means as a mother and partner. I am showing her the best I can that it is her energy field that holds her house together and helps her to understand her partner and her children. We have to be taught to listen to the wisdom that is in us, and hear the growing strength of our internal voice. For most women it’s the voice of their mother, holy shit, that is horrifying if the mother wasn’t able to mother, so then we must mother ourselves so we can mother our own children. We have to be real to our situation not dream of butterfly kisses, if you are down in the trenches like most of us there is not much sweet going on down there.

The strength of a woman is in her voice. The power of a woman is the light shining from herself like a shield, the love of a woman is in her eyes, sparkling when filled with love or dim when not. When we accept the norm of todays standard I find I am looking at women whose face registers nothing but the needle they worshiped for the God of youth, thats not keeping it real, thats selling yourself, please don’t give me that, we have the right to remain as young as possible in whatever way, nope “Don’t go gentle into that dark night” be real, being who you are makes you powerful, it is not how you look, nor has it ever been.

Those women who move through social situations based on looks are the ones who lose their shit mid 40’s, it is beyond they understanding that their power had nothing to do with how they look. It is and always has been dependent on the “who” you are and whether or not you are in touch with your source, are you? This is what the spiritual community was meant to fix. Becoming your best self, through the knowledge of that which is more powerful than you and then learning to hear the voice that loves you supports you and desires to lead you to success. Perfection is a process that goes on and on never finished so perfect yourself by staying real.

So again, whose voice are you listening to, and are you lowering your voice in order not to “upset” the status quo?

Are you being real? Be real in your grace!

 

Whose voice is that?


images.png

Most of us would venture to say we are in control of our lives but truth be told everyone is held hostage by the voice in their head. Unknowing to them they are lead around like a dog on a leash to feel certain things when certain things are said, to react a certain way when certain things happen. We may have a great sense of justice constantly correcting ourselves or others, but the nagging interior voice may be completely different making you feel bad about everything you do or don’t do, say or don’t say.

Even the most assured person you see is dealing with a voice that is trying to mess them up, trip them up and lead them astray. We come onto the planet innocent little children but soon we are overwhelmed with the truth of our situation, and innocence disappears as survival becomes the game. The voice in our head can be helpful giving us the support we need in a tight spot, but left to its own devices that voice would rather chase you down the road to negativity-ville.  “Shut up and keep your head down”, it says.

I started my spiritual path when my life just became to hard to handle on my own. I needed more than that voice telling me I was never going to make it, or be it, I was doomed for failure. The voice changes tone and frequency depending on how well you feel or how much you are serving your false self. You know this one, dressed for work, the voice, “you wearing that?” You work hard for a meeting or project and that voice,”this is not going to work” The voice when not in check is certainly checking us.

I have grown weary of a voice in my head that just reappeared. It’s the voice of fear, the one that comes just as you are moving in a new direction, establishing new habits or growth of any kind. It’s the voice that says, “who do you think you are?” A long time friend that bitch voice, always talking in my ear sometimes in the voice of husbands, parents, sisters, brothers, that voice can be any bodies voice but it is going after me, making me feel bad. As if my dreams aren’t good enough to follow, like I don’t have something to say, like my opinion doesn’t matter, that I am no body going no where, who do you think you are…

In spirituality you learn that to be a follower is not the answer, it’s a stepping stone to help establish new habits but you must be in control of your own life. The voice in your head was put there as a support system, “you go girl” but some where along the line that voice lost itself and began taking over and becoming a vehicle the darkness can use on every one of us, because we all have that voice, we hear that voice, we listen to that voice inside of us.

Stop doing it! Take control of it! That is what meditation is all about, learning how to quiet that voice, taking back control of the thinking mind and making it your servant rather than your master. You can use breathe work and counting, or chanting, to help control your thoughts. Just focus on your inhale and exhale until the voice quiets or come up with a short phrase and say it over and over, especially loud when the negative voice is doing its work. Over time you can learn to control it. It’s worth it, that voice is not the boss of you! You are the boss of that voice! And as you grow in spiritual strength that voice becomes the still quiet voice that has been there all along.

Dealing with days after death


Unknown

Time is the only thing that moves the sting of death. The further one is from the date of the tragedy the further the remembrance of the impact the tragedy produced. We as humans are asked to go through many challenging events, death is but one of them.

We are often tested by virtue of circumstances like war separating the men from the boys and girls from the women. Other times its something that happen’s hitting us close to home. A death or great tragedy in a family brings out the survivor, the victim, the teacher, and the follower. It will bring out the worst in us or the best in us but most of us need the tragedy to turn on the hero or see the tyrant within us. Tragedies are meant to stir this teaching that we are greater than the small-mindedness of our beliefs and we have the chance to grow and change everyday and sometimes we will be pushed.

The days after a great loss or death are filled with the sorrow of those around us. We come together to share memories and stories and sometimes a shoulder to help bear hearing the story again under hushed whispers. These are important days and must be shared with reverence but the real work of loss is found in the days when others can return to a “normal” life and you cannot. They go back to a before and you are now stuck in the after.

The empty days after the tragedy are fraught with too much time for thinking and rethinking, finger-pointing and guilty flag waving. And some must be expected as our human emotions left unleashed do unleash the torrent of sadness and anger left behind but not played out. Why did you do that to us?, we are left to ask, no one…

Faith is tested and we need to help stand next to the wobbly, next to those God is testing the most. Do not so easily walk away from someone who has experienced a tragedy. They may be strong in your eyes but behind closed doors we are all human. We are meant to learn all the hard lessons God thrusts onto us whether we want to or not. It is through community a person can gather the strength of remembering what is forgotten in the darkness of disbelief and despair. Being a spiritual warrior is to be present when someone needs you, not when its convenient for you.

Be true to your sister or brother who has experienced a tragedy and be like a mighty oak unwavering in your support. Though we will never know the mind of a God who allows us to be penetrated by the greatest of tragedies we can have solace in knowing there is no love without sacrifice.

If our hearts are involved in the pain of the teaching, or the lesson we are surrounded in then you can guarantee God’s hand in it. There is no sacrifice without love, if it is happening to you it does prove God’s love. We, in our finite understanding of love will sacrifice for our loved ones so how much greater is the sacrifice made by the creator of the universe for us. The more you hold to the teaching that you cannot know God at all if you do not see God in all makes every experience part of the all of God. Everything comes from the all. Everything seeks to return to the all.

Some just chose to leave way to soon…