It is a tendency of the human to remain stuck in behaviors, endless cycles of why is this happening to me? Without the awareness that doing the same thing and expecting different results is the definition of insanity.
We can say happy new year but do you know many who made it a new year, or will it be the same year played over again. It is hard to change, really hard and the motivation to do it nearly has to be done with a gun to the head, you can’t make me eat that salad I will eat this thick juicy burger, heart attack or not changing habits are nearly as hard as giving up addictions.
It is the same with behaviors, maybe more so. We can be motivated to lose weight or take better care of yourselves for a time, especially after a major health scare or before a reunion or new love. Changing mental behaviors takes an entirely different motivation and this is usually when behavior goes underground. We develop sneakiness so people don’t know what we are up to, we lose our self in lies hiding who we truly are.
I myself, just went through terrible heartache. I’m sorry but there is nothing worse than heartache. You can run from a lot but once the heart gets involved it’s a different ballgame. We will give ourselves away, we will become somebody else, we will lose our dignity giving someone our power or love or money or, or, or. Being in love with the wrong person is a problem.
The games we play with ourselves are the worst ones, the inner lies, the bargaining, all of it, so sad, and truly a loss of power. It’s a great trick of the darker side of life making strong women weak. I know if he could just see me, or hear me, or feel me, or or, or. None of it true if he had wanted you he would be there now! We can’t understand the heart and its nature, it surly wants what it wants and it takes a great bit of work to get the heart to see the way of truth.
The truth is love and being in love is not the problem it’s the why of love. Is it insecurity, fear, self loathing that holds you, is it really love or is it control. Is it love if you get angry because they cannot see you. Then it’s not love. Love and true love is unconditional and unattached. Means we love who we love, we can help it but we can’t make someone love us. And like David Bowie said, we need to learn to love and be loved. It’s not loving someone and loved back by that someone. Love is a big word.
I see where I went wrong in my thinking and I am so grateful for the lesson and glad I was able to stop myself from complete humiliation because a women’s heart is a fickle thing and not controlled will overtake your mind and drive you crazy, making you text (just because), call (because I wanted to hear your voice), write (I was just wondering if you are ok), You get this, same story different year!
Your true love will find you, if it’s your destiny it will happen. If not enjoy the company of the one you are with or learn to be alone. Two halves still don’t make a whole just 2 halves. To grow and mature is to look out your eyes, not through a glass darkly, not through rose colored glasses, but with your clear eyes. See what is really there because if science has taught us anything its that there is more out there than meets the eye.
Once your eyes are open there is a lot to see. When you look around you will see most people are walking through life with their eyes wide shut, not a way to live. The difficulty of the times we live in makes sticking to Divinity and the truth a way to be safe in life. Listen to no one but those who can be trusted (very small list). Open your mind, read a book, make yourself grow in a different way this year. Take the steps to change one thing. Change is hard but not impossible.
I heard a new definition of sin, it’s not using your brain. The greatest gift given, our minds for thinking, for reasoning, for growth, for power, ours to control not to be overrun by someone else and their idea of life. The discerning mind is where it is at. As I realized my issue, after crying a while I pulled my head out of my ass and thought about what I was doing and what it was doing to me.
In times of loneliness and stress we will substitute one comfort for another. We are such creatures of habit and big pleasure seekers. We are not into pain and will do a lot of things to avoid it. As soon as I realized the mistake I went to work to correct it, I am going to practice the idea of unconditional love with non attachment, practice I said, and dedicate to bettering myself so when Mr or Ms Right appears on the horizon I will have my head up to see, not buried in a tissue crying over what I couldn’t have.
So I am ready for growth, Are you?