What’s your hidden agenda?


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Can there be a hidden agenda when you find yourself; sitting, standing or ‘talking’ with a human that can barely lift their head?

Now, all eyes are down, phone in hand, zombie like gaze induced.

We know at once, what’s important to this human. Its status, its social standing, its virtual life. While eating, visiting, even working, all eyes on us…certainly not on you.

The human agenda has grown in its obviousness. Every moment can be known, be documented; fixed with photo shop, edited by spell check and instantaneously posted on Instagram. Like wearing a set of the Emperor’s new clothes we scream without sound; I am a star, I am a yogi, I am a spiritual teacher, I am a great mother/father/partner. I am beautiful, important, needed. I am lost, sad, horrified. I am the answer, I have the key, I have the map, I know the way…

Until we get that; it’s the same questions being asked, It’s the same feelings being felt, escaped and handled, we haven’t learned a thing.

The human condition has little changed; from the barbaric years of human sacrifices wait… we are still doing that…the human condition has little changed, period. You will find on the spiritual walk, path after path, all designed to do the same thing, enlighten you to this fact, nothing has ever changed. You have been chasing; money, power, fame, love, peace and you have not found it. You hide behind a hidden agenda of pretending to know what you want, or what you are looking for. Your hidden agenda drives your purpose in life and for most it’s just to keep the inner you hidden from sight. You are driven but to who knows where, to do who knows what?

And nothing will ever change.

Until you do…

So let’s get it out in the open, there is a hidden agenda within you. It’s an original operating instruction that was given to assist humans. It was, to seek the source of all, to find the maker and then merge with it. Really, underneath your desire to lose weight, get married, have a child, be the world savior, is this first operating instruction. Seek your source!

When our original instructions are obstructed in any way you become lost to your operational intent. You cannot merge with your original source because its signal bounces off of you rather than becomes a part of you. You can only merge with the signal when you open to it and it flows through you. Without merging  you are empty and this will cause you a feeling of discontentedness that you will try to fill with all manner of things.

Face it you are like a computer with bad code, you run at some capacity but not at full power.

But key in the proper code, boom. Keep your hidden agenda out in the open, search for the key that unlocks your secret heart and never give that password to anyone.

Which car is you on the Ferris wheel?


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This picture represents one of the best ways I find in explaining the human experience. I find most people think of life in linear terms, born on this day, die on that day and every day in between just another day down the road. But in my experience life moves more in circles, spirals if you’re lucky. The way I look at it, we are on a Ferris Wheel.

I see us spinning on a wheel with designated start and stop points. For the linear thinker those would be the days of your birth and death. For those of us on the wheel the days of starting and stopping would also include days of redemption and atonement, resurrection and rebirth and other opportunities to start again, start over, move ahead or move along. Each point where the Ferris wheel pauses to let other beings on and off the wheel of life can be seen as way stations, where you receive advance training for the next station on your journey.

To be clear, on this symbolic Ferris Wheel the developmental stage of where you are at is represented by the location of your car on the Ferris wheel. See the wheel like the face of a clock. We enter each new stage of our lives at the car positioned at 6:00. It is the same position of the car where we get off, after having finished that cycle of experience. You are ready for a more advanced go around on the Ferris Wheel.

The one in this picture is the simplistic wheel of a beginner. All the basic stops line up with the hour hand of a clock. It takes one full turn to load each car on the Ferris Wheel and one full turn to empty it, adding new passengers.  Here’s a list of short one word definitions of each Ferris Wheel car.

6:00 Car- Car of Entrance or Car of Exit

7:00 Car-Car of Anticipation- the journey begins

8:00 Car-Car of caring-learning to love the situation you are in

9:00 Car- Car of blame-finding someone or something that is the reason the things are going like planned

10:00 Car- Car of rescue-thoughts of someone bailing you out, or now filled with righteous indignation you know how to save the world.

11:00 Car- Car of Ego-you develop your plan to save the world, your family, your lover

1200 Car- Car of Highest Hope – Car of Greatest Dread-the spark of renewed energy fans your inner fire, you are doing it! Or the plan is to big I can’t do it, this could crash and burn

1:00 Car-Car of Perspective-after the fall the air is the clearest

2:00 Car- Car of Waning Hope-the inevitable awareness that we cannot save anyone, we can only show them a door

3:00 Car- Car of Compromise- build a plan with many doors and some where you don’t want them. Eyes become opened to other realities

4:00 Car-Car of Inevitability- Realization that some things are just not going to work, passangers of the wheel will want to pick and choose the car they ride and avoid the cars they don’t want to ride

5:00 Car-Car of Relief-realization the someone other than us is in charge of the running of the Ferris Wheel. It is our job to become conscious of the ride.

6:00 Car-Car of Exit or Car of Entrance- with self acceptance new cars will show up carrying you towards the next Ferris Wheel designed with your lessons in mind.

Just a thought.

To think of life in this way gives me hope for all of humanity. I think of the energy that runs the Ferris Wheel as the highest energy of all. It gives me hope to think that humanity still has endless opportunities to start and stop on this ever forgiving Ferris Wheel of life. For our good it just keeps turning and turning continually offering its steadfast rhythm for our growth.

 

 

 

 

Does it take strength to be strong?


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And does it make you strong to have strength?

There is a yoga sequence we do called t-sequence, you stand feet together, arms out, shoulder height elbows straight, like a T. We hold this in class anywhere from 3 minutes( I wish) to however long teacher decides we need to have our arms out straight without screaming for mercy. Try it, see how long you can do it! Because it’s funny, women with no real body strength are so much more likely to be able to hold their arms out longer than men who claim to be strong.

Eventually we get it does not take being strong to have strength. I may not be strong but don’t you mess with me or you will see my strength.

Being strong is awesome I need someone strong to open things and destroy things but thats it. I’ll need your strength for every thing else. Strong will not hold my heart, it will not ease my pain, it will not kiss the boo boo away, but your strength will.

I don’t need you to lift a car today I need you to have the strength to sit with me while I feel this way, and cry or laugh. Your strength gives me the freedom to be vulnerable. If you wave your strong in my face I may falter and not speak to you. I need strength to get me through.

When I reach for creator because there is no one else to reach towards I need creator’s strength. I need to know I’ll be ok and that God has my back. Because you people who claim to be strong often run when the going gets tough. You may be strong but truly you are weak. What happens to you when the strong is gone?

I’m tired of strong, I’ve been strong my entire life in every way possible, I have tried to be so strong until life got so hard, so difficult, so painful, that I let the pile of control I was holding fall to the floor. I told using manipulative people to hit the road. I refused the strong arm applied to make me feel weak and unsure. I refused the strong worded opinionated human and had them take their story of strong somewhere else.

In essence I told strong to move on and I felt my strength comeback to me.

the spirituality of life


It has been a difficult start for 2016 that I have spent most of it in bed. I even went to Minnesota to visit my daughter after I thought I felt stronger and ended up with the flu. My granddaughter and I were getting re-acquainted as we both struggled with pain, what a bonding experience that was.  I was dealing with my body pain, and a baby upset and in pain and a daughter pregnant and in pain. It was not a nice time of family it was a horror of how can we make each other comfortable in this minute, now this one…

During the 3 weeks I would peruse Facebook for what was going on in the world but in a pain fog I saw only negativity. As I came out of the fog of illness and looked closer at our world broadcast through social media I realized how fast you can step out of the life stream. All I can say is that these are troubling times. Everything looks negative!

I think the amount of physical pain running across the planet is indicative of the mental pain that it is chasing. The amount of mental fog plaguing the ignorant is indicative of a surge of crowd mentality not realizing its following the tail of an ignorant beast. If we are not leading our lives then the media or who ever has the loudest voice is leading us. I do not need a blow hard voicing my views, thanks I’ll do it myself by voting people, voting!

It is a great horror how much ignorance there is swirling around and how willing people are to broadcast their ignorance. I really see very little value in ignorance when we have so many different ways to gain intelligence. Make sure if you are one of the ones broadcasting your views that you stay informed and work to make the light of truth your guide. Not your brand of truth but the honest to God truth. It may take a while to get people to stop yelling and see passed their flag of prejudice but if you wave a flag of clarity long enough I have to believe eventually people will see.

Be the change we need in our world by staying as close to the truth in all matters as you can because all lives matter! And when it comes time for you to truly voice your opinion get out there and vote.

 

 

Whose voice is that?


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Most of us would venture to say we are in control of our lives but truth be told everyone is held hostage by the voice in their head. Unknowing to them they are lead around like a dog on a leash to feel certain things when certain things are said, to react a certain way when certain things happen. We may have a great sense of justice constantly correcting ourselves or others, but the nagging interior voice may be completely different making you feel bad about everything you do or don’t do, say or don’t say.

Even the most assured person you see is dealing with a voice that is trying to mess them up, trip them up and lead them astray. We come onto the planet innocent little children but soon we are overwhelmed with the truth of our situation, and innocence disappears as survival becomes the game. The voice in our head can be helpful giving us the support we need in a tight spot, but left to its own devices that voice would rather chase you down the road to negativity-ville.  “Shut up and keep your head down”, it says.

I started my spiritual path when my life just became to hard to handle on my own. I needed more than that voice telling me I was never going to make it, or be it, I was doomed for failure. The voice changes tone and frequency depending on how well you feel or how much you are serving your false self. You know this one, dressed for work, the voice, “you wearing that?” You work hard for a meeting or project and that voice,”this is not going to work” The voice when not in check is certainly checking us.

I have grown weary of a voice in my head that just reappeared. It’s the voice of fear, the one that comes just as you are moving in a new direction, establishing new habits or growth of any kind. It’s the voice that says, “who do you think you are?” A long time friend that bitch voice, always talking in my ear sometimes in the voice of husbands, parents, sisters, brothers, that voice can be any bodies voice but it is going after me, making me feel bad. As if my dreams aren’t good enough to follow, like I don’t have something to say, like my opinion doesn’t matter, that I am no body going no where, who do you think you are…

In spirituality you learn that to be a follower is not the answer, it’s a stepping stone to help establish new habits but you must be in control of your own life. The voice in your head was put there as a support system, “you go girl” but some where along the line that voice lost itself and began taking over and becoming a vehicle the darkness can use on every one of us, because we all have that voice, we hear that voice, we listen to that voice inside of us.

Stop doing it! Take control of it! That is what meditation is all about, learning how to quiet that voice, taking back control of the thinking mind and making it your servant rather than your master. You can use breathe work and counting, or chanting, to help control your thoughts. Just focus on your inhale and exhale until the voice quiets or come up with a short phrase and say it over and over, especially loud when the negative voice is doing its work. Over time you can learn to control it. It’s worth it, that voice is not the boss of you! You are the boss of that voice! And as you grow in spiritual strength that voice becomes the still quiet voice that has been there all along.

Spiritual discipline


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I use to describe spiritual discipline as getting up early every morning to do my sadhana practice. My sadhana is normally the time I spend chanting as I am not as interested in moving first thing in the morning but I am totally in love with getting up early to chant. I have been a devotee of chanting for 20 years now. I love to chant!

I chant Naam, which is the holy word or words that sang, whispered or thought, elevate the listener/chanter. Through the natural law of osmosis we know that that which you spend most of your time doing or who/what you constantly surround yourself with, will be reflected in your daily life. It is also reflected in your level of happiness and overall success. This is why we do Naam!

Chanting Naam, or the continuous repetition of the sacred mantras over time  bring increased light not just to our bodies but down to our cells. Chanting allows us to accumulate light giving us increased chances for continuous health and prosperity. The more light in the body the higher the vibration. It is my belief and experience that sickness and jealousy, darkness and lack cannot live in a body filled with light or a affect a being who spends time merging with the sacred sounds and/or names of God.

These Divine mantras allows us to feel within our hearts our true state of being, united with the highest vibration. We were meant to live our life with our hearts wide open filled with love but the traumas of our lives and the effects of the body of pain over our lifetimes keep us trapped in a life of false darkness, filled with constant lack and conditional if any love. Chanting Naam allows us a river of higher sound vibration to ride opening our hearts filling them with love so we may merge with the Divine Light in our soul projecting love peace and light to beings everywhere.

But chanting isn’t enough. Understanding the overwhelming influence of the body of pain, its naysaying negativity, its dooms day predictions of ‘you’ll never be good enough’ means we must carry our spiritual discipline into our daily lives. We must teach ourselves to be the master of our emotions. We must live everyday as students of the divine spiritual wisdom putting the wisdom to work rather than being victim to the many unseen forces influencing us. As we work through our studies we learn about these unseen forces and living  in a constant state of awareness we know we can make these forces work for us in our endeavors rather than fall victim to them.

Spiritual discipline is a constant practice until the wisdom walks with you and you become the wisdom not just a student of it. You know, the day the student becomes the master, it is the path we are all walking, yup, all of us! But until that day we must make successes of our lives by implementing the tools laid out for us by the master teachers who have gone before us. It is our job to put spiritual discipline to work.  We must do the work. We must take the steps. We must implement the wisdom. We must take time to increase our vibration through meditation and prayer. We must be driven to be a better human every day.

This is the kind of spiritual discipline we all need to embrace. Working towards being a better humans everyday!

Be sure and watch for the release of my chanting CD Chanting Living Words on 1/20/2015 on CDbaby.com I would love for you to love chanting as much as I do, it changed my life.

nothing is ever done


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One of the fallacies taught in my childhood was the fairy tale idea of happily ever after, or the Disney movie version of cut as the wholesome story concludes with a stellar finish. These fairy tales spoke of a world of balance and the triumph of dark over evil, followed by that’s a wrap let the happiness commence. But, for many life is more like a horror movie with a never ending terrain wrought with difficulties and challenges no one consciously wants to face with no end in sight and accompanied by the constant fear of the noise in the basement. None of us wants to go to the basement and check out ‘the noise”, we all know what a noise in the basement means, no need to invite the boogie man into the house. In the view of the scary cat there is always a boogeyman in the basement, no matter how ‘safe’ you say it is down there!

Nothing removes the fear of the boogeyman like meeting him and destroying him yourself, problem is there will always be another boogeyman to wrestle. This life we are leading is based on the premise that we have made this journey consciously in order to overcome, to battle, to slay, to grow, in whatever way our greater conscious self sees fit. We are willing students in a giant school each playing our role for others in our family and our friend/colleague circles. Every relationship you are in provides a platform that the universe uses to help you overcome weaknesses in your character, reestablish karmic balance, and offering many opportunities for spiritual growth, or in other words, many boogeymen to deal with. Every event of your life, self-created or fated, is another path the universe uses for helping you to know and understand your character and how you do or don’t maintain balance in your own life. Think about how much about someone’s character is generally revealed during times of sickness and stress. Once shy helpful Betty turns into viper Betty under stress, clear the path her she comes…

Do you do that?

It would help us as students of life and especially those who would call themselves spiritual seekers, to understand that nothing is ever finished in our evolution, in our becoming an agent of light, a person that stands away from the masses as the key stone of balance not a rod of conflict. It takes moral fortitude and a rigorous spiritual discipline to realize that the traumatic events in our lives are happening in a way to stimulate our growth and reliance on a power that is greater than that of a human. It is a divine flow of energy that resides and moves within us that can be manipulated and used by each of us for the betterment of ourselves, our families and finally our world. But it will never be complete because of the beauty and grace of the creative spiritual energy. Through our continual evolution we are blessed with the ability to be more, infinitely more.

In our pursuit of merging with the Divine we become what we call in Universal Kabbalah the 3rd pillar. We as spiritual students and leaders stand as a neutralizing force to others polarizing forces. Wherever we go, wherever we are, it is our vibration that helps bring light to every place. We become the change we want to see in the world and we do it by becoming the light bearers. We become an active part of the larger picture when we realize this life is not about us, our singular tiny self, it is about the evolution of what is possible in life. We do this by the very elevated way in which we live, how we move consciousness ourselves, this is our part of the great work.

But don’t be fooled, the great work will never ever be finished, it will gloriously evolve!