We are starting again

We are starting again

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There are many reasons to write a blog, one being so you can be seen and adored by fans for your wit and so-called wisdom. This is not that kind of blog, as a matter of fact, this will be the kind of blog that you will either desire to read or you will burn this connection, heretic witch…oh well I say.

This is a coming to Jesus minute.

Something I have found hard for the last 11 years of my life is the absence of wisdom, and a complete lack of desire for reality. I mean for myself. The fantasy of our world is a much easier lie to tell ourselves, helping us to sleep at night, keeping us asleep during the day. You may even think that you want change or for things to be different. You still think you have control over outcomes. You think you live in reality, the real world, where shit is real and you can be killed, eaten, taken advantage of. That you have real choice.

Oh did you think you were actually awake, and in reality. Who’s reality…

No baby this is a dream…

There is no advancement in life without this knowledge. Sorry, you who think you know truth.

You are asleep at the wheel of your life. You feel alive, I did too. It seems like we are living in a reality. I mean really don’t tell me that last 5 day migraine was a figment of my imagination, I wanted to die, slit my throat, bleed out, it was as real as the letters you are reading right now.

Are these letters real or does your mind tell you these dashes mean something? Who interprets your words for you, who or what gives them meaning? These are the big questions.

You remember the song, row row row your boat gently down the stream, merrily merrily merrily merrily, life is but a dream.

We are living in a dream. Your mind as an advanced computer has given your eyes something to perceive and a world to find your way in and through. Apparently we have been tossed down here and now have to figure it out, in an eat or be eaten world.

Humanity will never move past the horror we are trapped in until someone, somewhere, comes out of the dream, kicking and screaming, trying to wake everyone up.

Guess what? I’ll be doing that. I have no idea of the name of the one who just through me out of my dream. The pain of that 5, 6 ,7 day headache drove me to an edge, no returning from that. Once you see differently you can never readjust your eyes to lies.

We are living in a lie, convinced of a material world that has no real backing, it’s an illusion, and believe me as I threw up my guts until my stomach threatened to follow I no more believed this is an illusion than you do right now. So convinced that your pain is real, your suffering is real, so was I.

Nope and wrong. Pain just happens to be one of the ways spirit talks to me, a human with a difficult past, seeminglyunloving uncaring parents and no real support in the real world. All of my power came from a belief that I had for myself. I had to get hard before they went at me again, I learned all tricks to side step, pain, any pain, emotional, physical, spiritual.

So when I fell in LA this last trip I already knew my head would respond. I get headaches like some people get indigestion or get pissed, a headache is always just a thought away, my head gives me buckets of pain.

Because I have believed I am the creator of myself. No one can help, no one cares frankly, and I’m living in a material world and I am a material girl. So many lies.

I am no more material than any of you are, your dream of reality is as powerful as mine was.

So I will lead a new charge. I am done swimming in a world of my own making. It sucks here. My body thinks it’s the boss of me and due to DNA weakness my body is a fu*king nightmare a lot of the time. So time to turn the channel and tune into a different version of reality.

In other words, I, during an experience of unimaginable pain, that I was not only forced to live through, but no amount of drugs would remove me from it. That suffering world be mine baby, all mine, and mine to fix, which I fu*king did, victory arms.

It is said that creator will give us know more than we can handle, or maybe its more important to say that the greater your intelligence, and willingness to change or see clearly, creator will assist in clearing the cob webs from your mind, the film in front of your eyes, and release you from the cage your heart is trapped in. Using any and all means available.

Stay with me, and I’ll explain it all, as it was and is revealed to me,

you know, heretic witch that I am.

 

 

Which car is you on the Ferris wheel?


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This picture represents one of the best ways I find in explaining the human experience. I find most people think of life in linear terms, born on this day, die on that day and every day in between just another day down the road. But in my experience life moves more in circles, spirals if you’re lucky. The way I look at it, we are on a Ferris Wheel.

I see us spinning on a wheel with designated start and stop points. For the linear thinker those would be the days of your birth and death. For those of us on the wheel the days of starting and stopping would also include days of redemption and atonement, resurrection and rebirth and other opportunities to start again, start over, move ahead or move along. Each point where the Ferris wheel pauses to let other beings on and off the wheel of life can be seen as way stations, where you receive advance training for the next station on your journey.

To be clear, on this symbolic Ferris Wheel the developmental stage of where you are at is represented by the location of your car on the Ferris wheel. See the wheel like the face of a clock. We enter each new stage of our lives at the car positioned at 6:00. It is the same position of the car where we get off, after having finished that cycle of experience. You are ready for a more advanced go around on the Ferris Wheel.

The one in this picture is the simplistic wheel of a beginner. All the basic stops line up with the hour hand of a clock. It takes one full turn to load each car on the Ferris Wheel and one full turn to empty it, adding new passengers.  Here’s a list of short one word definitions of each Ferris Wheel car.

6:00 Car- Car of Entrance or Car of Exit

7:00 Car-Car of Anticipation- the journey begins

8:00 Car-Car of caring-learning to love the situation you are in

9:00 Car- Car of blame-finding someone or something that is the reason the things are going like planned

10:00 Car- Car of rescue-thoughts of someone bailing you out, or now filled with righteous indignation you know how to save the world.

11:00 Car- Car of Ego-you develop your plan to save the world, your family, your lover

1200 Car- Car of Highest Hope – Car of Greatest Dread-the spark of renewed energy fans your inner fire, you are doing it! Or the plan is to big I can’t do it, this could crash and burn

1:00 Car-Car of Perspective-after the fall the air is the clearest

2:00 Car- Car of Waning Hope-the inevitable awareness that we cannot save anyone, we can only show them a door

3:00 Car- Car of Compromise- build a plan with many doors and some where you don’t want them. Eyes become opened to other realities

4:00 Car-Car of Inevitability- Realization that some things are just not going to work, passangers of the wheel will want to pick and choose the car they ride and avoid the cars they don’t want to ride

5:00 Car-Car of Relief-realization the someone other than us is in charge of the running of the Ferris Wheel. It is our job to become conscious of the ride.

6:00 Car-Car of Exit or Car of Entrance- with self acceptance new cars will show up carrying you towards the next Ferris Wheel designed with your lessons in mind.

Just a thought.

To think of life in this way gives me hope for all of humanity. I think of the energy that runs the Ferris Wheel as the highest energy of all. It gives me hope to think that humanity still has endless opportunities to start and stop on this ever forgiving Ferris Wheel of life. For our good it just keeps turning and turning continually offering its steadfast rhythm for our growth.

 

 

 

 

Are you a human being…


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This is a much repeated phrase that needs more repeating because it has constantly gone past the minds of all the human doings. We are doing and doing and doing, all the while claiming our being.

Here’s a line for you. If you find yourself sick, ill in any way, you have separated yourself from all the human beings. A human doing is a human alone, which in and of itself is impossible, but through our deluded ego we believe our doing is an act of our own will. We believe that we exist outside of creation. We believe in what we see, the world around us, but this does not include that which we do not believe or cannot see. I like them but I do not like those “others”.

Myself even, deluded into believing any other had power over me, or my thoughts. That any disadvantage I feel, comes from a lack my ego says comes from another, trying to take from me. Through all my spiritual work this belief has stuck, like a nail in my shoe no less. We are all deluded into the belief that we are lacking or something is missing and only in being a human doing can we fix it. Yet each human doing trying to fix that which is unbroken is swirling in a cycle of endless repetition of more and more doing. Getting no where really, really fast.

I have searched in dozens of spiritual communities for someone who “had it”. Someone not held in the fake belief that we need to do something to get “it”. I’ve encountered “enlightened” people still selling their beliefs when the belief of we are all one as humans beings and part of God, doesn’t need to be sold. Even our spiritual leaders are lead to believe they must sell their beliefs so that we can become humans doing the “right thing” in some “right” way.

What if freedom, true freedom which exists in the mind, was free and ours for the taking. What if the truth we desperately seek from someone we feel; more important, smarter, better able, really was none of those things. What if the guy next to you was as valuble to God as you are. What if every so called bad person was actually a human being trying to get to their truth. What if instead of seeing others as good or bad, smart or stupid, right or wrong, we began seeing them all as children of God.

Do we really think the God force of creation, created you, but not you, them but not those, this but not that. See how deluded we have become. We choose for the creative force who is worthy, us, human doings, putting ourselves in the creative hot seat, hmmm…

Do you know the mind of God? Do you think there is a human doing that does? Only a human being, exisiting in the light of God, is that you?

While many seem far away from the true teachings, any teachings really, they are still here and a part of us, you know human beings. What if your presense as a loving inclusive being made the difference to someone lost in ignorance of their true birthright. What if you chose to believe we are all a part of the creative force, beloved of God.

Underneath the pain and ignorance of human life is the mind of God at work, its not easy. I’m not God. I don’t know why my baby grandson had to die, or any child for that matter, but in the mind of God is the answer and that’s where I desire my mind to be attached. And as a mother, when truth comes to me, I desire for my children to have it, just as I imagine the mind of creator desires for its.

I reach for the truth for my creations as I know God reaches for me, and you, and you over there, all of us human beings. You are a part of humanity and you didn’t have to do a thing but be…

The world of fear


Why is truth so hard for people to hear and so very hard for people to believe?  What we have been told as children filters through us and can take up residence in our minds as truth. We once thought the world was flat and there was no convincing some people otherwise. It takes great effort to move the false teachings many have been fed out of their heads. Without truth we are surrounded in a world of fear.
Fear has been the largest manufacturer of negative things. Weapons are developed because we fear the bad guy. People want to carry arms because they fear the other guy. Bombs are developed as well as air born weapons to wreck havoc on our enemies.  We can’t let our children walk to school or the playground because we fear they might not walk back. Fear is the real enemy.

It has become harder for me to teach as the reasons for fear grow and it spreads like a communicable disease. This world is an illusion and everyone has forgotten that. They are sinking their teeth into a fake reality. The real truth is about the light body and the kingdom we came from. This is not our home, it is a way station between worlds, that of the living and of the asleep.

Vibration is the answer as truth will ring as a high vibration and anything less than the truth falls like a bad hit to a gong, a deadened noise, no vibration at all. When we desire truth and the awareness of truth then falseness cannot take root in our heart. I am certainly not saying that we don’t need to be careful. We do because we are here. Thing is once the truth of our reality becomes our awareness then there will never be anything to fear again.

That statement alone is what makes the darkness work at us with such fervor. When you find yourself in fear think on your truth. You are a being of light, emanating from the mind of God. You are wrapped in a skin suit suitable for this planet. You are not who you think you are. You are so much more and this is not a world of fear but a training ground to become all you were meant to be.

Emanate truth and the truth shall set you free.

See them as children


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It doesn’t take long to get disappointed with humanity. Turn on the news, read a paper, horror, after a while there is for me a decided need to separate self from “them”. I am not like “them”.

I walk through the streets of Santa Monica and I see all manner of life and life forms, I see too much and I started looking away. I didn’t want “them” to see me and I didn’t want to see “them”. I am not “them”.

My own depression was making the separation worse I was looking through veiled eyes. My own pain and loss was coloring how I felt. As I looked out amongst others while walking I would find myself jealous of their joy, their love, their family, so I looked away from “them”. Or I would get superior feeling blessed around those less fortunate and try to help them, “them”.

I wasn’t seeing the truth around me at all. Did I think I was from another world,

I was talking to someone the other day, trying to share my woe’s and how I felt within 2 minutes, I doubt that long, they interrupted me with their own story and boom the conversation I needed was moved and the focus placed on them. Over and over it happened. I became aware of their need for me to listen to their story far outweighed my need to tell mine. They needed me to listen like a child needing reassurance or attention. It was happening all the time in a lot of conversations, it became about “them”.

As I look around at humanity I see thousands of people not paying attention to what’s going on or who they are talking to, or where they are going. People’s personal needs are so overwhelming that they are reaching out to everyone and anyone trying to get the attention they need, often by tripping into someone. Just like children. Some are getting attention in the most vile of ways. They have no need of attention they have lost hope.

So trying to readjust the lens I looked through and to correct my vision, I began to see everyone around me as a child. Big, small, old, young, I saw everyone as a child.

And then I could see that we are all children in different states of being and development, existing in a gigantic family of many diverse children. Most do not feel seen or heard by their families, society or a God who seems very far away.

Like children we need to slow ourselves down and really listen to what is being said to us. Like children we need to make sure we are present in the moment of any conversation or exchange so that we are on top of what is happening, not running into trouble because we are distracted. It takes no effort at all to say or hear the wrong thing. And like children we get our feelings hurt and lose trust.

Like children we also need to hear with clear ears. With neutrality and not a 3 year olds pent-up frustrated ego. Like with children we need to make sure our word is true, not misunderstood or misconstrued. Like children we need to really listen so children and others can be heard.

We need to say what needs to be said and hear what needs to be heard.

When we see out to the worlds children and the vast experiences of life and suffering we need to remember that the ones acting out in such horrific ways were once children whose hearts were turned and like children they don’t know how to forgive and forget, that what you give you get, and we are all in this together.

Take in a breath, its how we are connected in the physical world, we all need air to breath. Thats why its called the breath of life and why God is called the breath of life. We need God for our breath of life.

Reach out to those hurting around you and see them as children needing your care and love.

See “them” as children and they move from “them” to children of God. It’s a tough time in the world, be the spirit of love and healing, help and guidance, that is desperately needed.

See them as children and help them all. Reach out your hand to help.

the spirituality of life


It has been a difficult start for 2016 that I have spent most of it in bed. I even went to Minnesota to visit my daughter after I thought I felt stronger and ended up with the flu. My granddaughter and I were getting re-acquainted as we both struggled with pain, what a bonding experience that was.  I was dealing with my body pain, and a baby upset and in pain and a daughter pregnant and in pain. It was not a nice time of family it was a horror of how can we make each other comfortable in this minute, now this one…

During the 3 weeks I would peruse Facebook for what was going on in the world but in a pain fog I saw only negativity. As I came out of the fog of illness and looked closer at our world broadcast through social media I realized how fast you can step out of the life stream. All I can say is that these are troubling times. Everything looks negative!

I think the amount of physical pain running across the planet is indicative of the mental pain that it is chasing. The amount of mental fog plaguing the ignorant is indicative of a surge of crowd mentality not realizing its following the tail of an ignorant beast. If we are not leading our lives then the media or who ever has the loudest voice is leading us. I do not need a blow hard voicing my views, thanks I’ll do it myself by voting people, voting!

It is a great horror how much ignorance there is swirling around and how willing people are to broadcast their ignorance. I really see very little value in ignorance when we have so many different ways to gain intelligence. Make sure if you are one of the ones broadcasting your views that you stay informed and work to make the light of truth your guide. Not your brand of truth but the honest to God truth. It may take a while to get people to stop yelling and see passed their flag of prejudice but if you wave a flag of clarity long enough I have to believe eventually people will see.

Be the change we need in our world by staying as close to the truth in all matters as you can because all lives matter! And when it comes time for you to truly voice your opinion get out there and vote.

 

 

Lift your head


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I see a lot of drop necks now, people staring at their device rather than heads up, eyes forward. Most young people will tell you looking down at their device rarely causes them to run into things, of course statistical odds haven’t caught up with most of them, yet. They don’t quite get what the big deal is anyway. They just don’t know what an evolutionary coup it was to get that frontal lobe. The ability to think and have complex thought, awesome and then boom, we forget the importance of the neck. The neck is where the nerves carrying the brains impulse signals move. Time spent bending the neck makes the communication bridge between the brain and the body divided and unable to move information.

What once was an ease of communication from your brain to the rest of your nervous system has become the playground for disregard. Go ahead bend your neck all day long it won’t matter! Yah it matters, it can cause your body skeletal issues from chronic neck pain to a possible hump on the back. Constantly change the position of a fixed flexible bone all the way through the brittle years of middle age and your posture will change, you will get shorter and your spine one day will be stooped. On top of what can happen physically the constant bent neck most certainly impedes signals produced in your brain to get where they need to go to keep your mental self in check.

Remember what happens when you put a rubber band around a finger, we use to do that as kids, cuts off circulation take off the band circulation restored. The same action is going on in the neck on a different scale, the constant bending the neck restricts nervous impulse from moving freely, this is minimal during regular neck use but think about it, your kid spends an hour on their phone, looking down, they walk the streets looking down, they sit on the bus, in the car, everywhere looking down. How is it that what took eons of evolutionary time, learning to look up and stand upright, allowing the light to stimulate the frontal lobe and the masters glands of the body, to allowing us to lose it by continually looking down? Are we really getting smarter with all this looking down or is it stealing our chance for experience and growth?

Are we slaves to our devices and are the masters pleased with their control?

Even if one argued that using intuition to see both up and out while looking down does make someone ahead of the game, it still leaves the disrupted signal dominant, you are not playing with a full deck. Once a nerve is pinched, or the original pathways moved, you are not the same and something has to compensate.

I think it might be time to think about why we are giving up the evolutionary advantage to looking up. Keep the neck free of kinks so that all information moving through the spine can be utilized. The communication highway through the neck is developed and moves through the physical but it also includes spiritual impulses as well. But what would be the point of having advanced spiritual thought if the vessel you are in is trapped in animalistic behavior because you chose to look down blocking off the frontal lobes ability to sense light and communicate with a higher vibration resonating in the universe. Your freewill determines what you voluntarily do, so look up more often than down, realize the evolutionary advantage to being the smartest in the room, don’t let those that benefit from our ignorance win.