That’s right I’m angry


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That’s right I am angry. Oh does that hurt your precious sensibility? Funny how in spiritual circles we are to shun anger. Don’t be angry! Don’t get mad, get glad! Well you know what, I’m angry and I am ready to feel this anger and then tend to it. I figure if Jesus got angry and then anger is sometimes appropriate.

I think anger is useful! Because, and here’s the kicker, most humans won’t do anything about anything, until they finally get mad as hell. Then and only then, will they put down their phones, turn off the televisions, get off their asses and take a stand or do something about it.

I’m angry because mostly I see people bitching and whining like 3 year olds and their “life’s not fair” sentence. Get it in your head, LIFE IS NOT FAIR. That was a humans idea, nope, a humans opinion of how the world should be. In nature the snake eats the eggs of the birds, is that shit fair. We kill off everything for some whim, any whim, is that shit fair. We slave humans for greed in every possible way, is that shit fair. There is nothing fair about this world, I mean come on, our president walks around with the nuke codes and uncontrolable power to use them, is that shit fair.

Does it change anything to say it’s not fair. Yes sirrrrreee I’m angry.

I expected people to be for people, nope they will be for you if they can have what you have, or take what you have….

I expected woman to rise, to stand up. Now they are and it’s because they have been forced underneath men and their perverted sexual/power needs. Very few men believe in equality, ask one, or better yet check their track record. Most men slave their women and their children, and their mothers, and……………………….. I said most,

I expected humanity to rail against violence to children, nope men like to violate children, in the workforce, cheap labor and in the bedroom for titillating disgusting fun. Man once thought babies couldn’t feel pain, REALLY

I expected Gun control, nope I guess we will pry their guns from their cold dead hands, after a gunman shoots them with it. The horror is our country will never allow gun control until, and I doubt even then, someone powerful loses their child. This country loves guns not people. Money not people. Fame not people. Power not people.

I seek a divide in those living in skin suits who are not human but subhuman. Sound judgie…

I seek a dismissal to all positions lorded over children, parents learn to parent be the expert and boss for your kids. A wounded, unloved, used up child, grows up into a force that has become the backbone of our world, you know Dog eat Dog.

I am tired of all the humans who sat down because life was hard, drugs easier, blame faster, unconsiouness more desirable. What is fu*king wrong with you people.

And for all the so-called spiritual teachers, the self proclaimed gurus, the God gave me this assignment asshole church leaders, (talking to you Scientology and many others) bilking their people out of their hard earned money so you can be rich and famous, talking to you spiritual masters who use people, so you can be rich and famous while waving your God flag watching those around you suffer.  How’s your new Range Rover?

For family members who judge their family, boo on you. Who made you a God.

For the humans who use words like I love you, you are my friend, I will be there for you, and don’t mean a word you say, ******************************** this sentence has been censored.

So there, there’s my bitch. I am angry. Tomorrow maybe not so much.

Be a decent human. Be a team player. Be there for your family and friends.

Be something, stop doing nothing!

Staying in your lane


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Humans as a rule love to be the boss of things. They love to share their opinions and proselytize their beliefs. It is if you think about it a very hive mind behavior. A safety in numbers things. We like it best when others believe as we do and can feel like we are helping them as we firmly show them the errors of their ways. It helps us to feel better about the belief we have sunk our teeth into. There are people who still believe there is only one way towards salvation. And their definition of salvation is a bit one-sided.

Salvation is the act of saving or protecting from harm, risk, loss, destruction. So salvation can be the entrance of truth so that you may be saved from ignorance the greatest sin of all. Our search for truth, or salvation is a long road of truth seeking. My truth today is different than the truth of my yesterday’s. When I was younger I was a lot more rigid of what I thought truth was and how others were so very wrong.

Funny thing about time, growth, maturity… it changes your mind. It changes your perspective. And one must do this work for themselves. To stay in your lane is to understand that each human has a very unique hold of their perceptions, and their idea of the truth. All any of us can do is model behavior and belief. If what you say is truth or that your belief system”works” the proof is in the pudding they say, or it should be written all over your face, as the peace that surpasses understanding.

In the end none of us are changing anyone. As a parent you have power over your children… for a minute. We must lead by example, preach by behavior and spread hope by just being the peace we want to see in the world.

Stay in your lane. Love the lane your in. Try different lanes if you are dissatisfied with where you are at. Just remember all lanes are moving to somewhere and you are not the judge of where they go or how they get there. Stay in your lane.

 

 

 

Rough patch


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Nothing like a rough patch to send you off your rocker and straight to the loony bin. Nothing like having your world derailed by somebody elses actions. And there is nothing like the feeling of sliding and falling, as you realize the rough patch you were afraid of is already underneath you and that feeling is your feet losing their hold. One rough patch of unbelievable size can bring a human to their knees. Time to put some knee pads on!

What we constantly forget as we move through life is, that its life. We have been so removed from reality that a human experiencing a rough patch looking at social media would assume that they are the only ones suffering. In fake-ville or the land of virtual reality everyone is; tan, healthy, on vacation, their children are well-behaved, they have the most loving partner, they got a big raise, new house, lost 20 pounds, blah blah blah.

Really people! Back in the day, we were told (I was told a least a billion times) what doesn’t kill you will make you stronger. It was understood that life was hard and the only sure way to get through it was to live your life. Hiding won’t help, denying won’t help, blame won’t help, AT ALL. You have to do it, live, you have to live!

Staying stoned – not living , staying drunk – not living, staying in denial – not living, starving yourself – not living, staying mad- so not living, ignoring your dreams – not living, pretending you do not matter- not living.

We go through life one day at a time. You can sit inside your head or in fantasy, living a yesterday over and over again or plotting your tomorrows, it will not help you live today. Each day you get up is your opportunity, your chance. It may be today that the rough patch shows itself, it might be tomorrow, but believe me, there is another rough patch ahead, just around the corner, outside in your yard, inside your kids head,

Believe me, there is a rough patch ahead.

You are alive you can’t avoid them.

My world was tossed around AGAIN, and I wallowed, my misery was all-consuming. My world was trying to fall apart again, AGAIN. UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

I have had a very large portion of troubles in my life, rough patches would be an understatement. Just like you, I suspect. None of us are getting through this without a lot of pain, this is a growth spurt for humanity. Unfortunately, we will not grow unless we are forced to, so rough patches are designed to move you from pain, to smack you until your vision clears so you see what’s in front of you. One rough patch is not the big picture, the big picture includes rough patches.

So for 3 days I wallowed in the are you kidding me, again, I have to go through this again, again, like a broken record, again.

Wallowing feels good for a moment, oh woe is me, oh God leave me alone already, how am I going to get through this…………….

and on the 3rd day I rose, again.

It was just rough patch, which is not the big picture, nor the end of this story…

What’s the point!


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I’m not sure what the point is anymore. I’ve been writing and writing and just like teaching if no one is getting it, why continue?

I see pain, I have gone through pain, the entire country is going through pain and yet everyone seems stuck in their own limited mind-set. It doesn’t matter what you say, nobody is listening. They can only hear their own voice because they are soooo right. So many people believe they are right. God only knows what is going on.

If everyone is right why are we in the shape we are in?

I just read that a first grader took a gun to school and it fired into the ground thank God. Yet gun control, no way, you can take my gun from my cold dead hand, which in the hand of a 6-year-old is entirely possible. They don’t know what that gun can do. You kill someone on a video game they get back up, they turn into zombies, they don’t die.. but you will if it’s aimed at you when it goes off.

There are negative racist remarks on the bathrooms of our schools, you know where we keep our precious children safe. There are grown ass adults spouting racist, prejudiced rhetoric everywhere, and we wonder why their children do?

TV is hard to watch, the news? what news… if these are the end times then I say speed it up.

I’m tired of war mongers, haters, people only interested in taking…

In my country the welfare of the people is dependent on the number of rich influential beings who may either profit or be harmed by what’s going on. For example the pipeline, let’s poison these people’s water , but not these people over here…

The entire teaching of we are one is so lost on the rich. The teaching we are our brother and sisters keeper, so lost on the rich. The teaching this land is your land this land is my land, so lost on the rich who would own everything and charge us for it…

But no one cares and woe be to you who do…

Sorry people I’m tired of it. What’s the point…

I’ll tell you what the point is, my family, my children, my grandchildren, my adopted people of all races, genders and faiths…

Come near them, and I’ll show you the point of staying the fu*k back…

That’s right its not funny anymore

What if…


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These are difficult days as we Americans walk towards a presidential election that could be seen as most embarrassing and at the very least it feels as if the people are not realizing the truth of what is going on. The name calling, finger wagging, who said what, and who did what, will not matter as soon as one of them is in office. We have to face it, big business in America is about money, power, and greed, and this election proves it is moving right in front of our faces. What use to be hidden behind closed doors is now out in the open if we would just pay attention.

There is not a one of us who have not tried to reduce their taxes, said stupid things, did what we felt was ok when we bent the law to our desires. Been on the phone in your car lately? Drive over the speed limit lately? Told your partner a lie, or worse your kids? I could go on and on. How about you without sin cast the first stone!

At this time it would be best if we got over the actions of three-year old’s and realize what might happen if one or the other get into office and people one of them most assuredly will. We need to clear the veil in front of our eyes and see.

Both of these candidates speak of the deterioration of what was once a free society. What if we began to remember that most all of us came from immigrant families? What if most of us stopped listening to the finger wag of blame and demanded truth for a change? What if we demanded truth above all and then choose the candidate that reflected our values?

Here’s one for you, what if we remembered that we are all lying about something, hiding something, or simply choosing not to look into our own shadows? I see people ready to point at someones else’s sin but can’t seem to see the curtain of sin veiling their eyes.

This is not an excuse for sinning or wrong doing or a get out of jail free card. This is the recognition that we have all done something along the lines of what we are accusing the candidates of having done. Read personal emails at work lately? Done some shopping while on the clock?

None of us are without sin. None of us are any better than the other truthfully. Just like you cannot be a little pregnant you can’t be a little sinner.

Pick the one who you know is not going to be reactive and throw a fit if something doesn’t go their way, somewhere in the world. Pick the one who is going to have our countries best interest at heart and I don’t mean which one wants to be the most powerful person but understands the responsibility of being in the most powerful person in the world. Pick the one who thinks first rather than mouths off and apologizes. Pick the one who has a good head on their shoulder not the best pant suit or best hair, or the one who understands fidelity in a partnership. The one who wins will be the one representing us, who are you?

What if we all decided to do the right thing rather than the thing that makes us right?

Almost done


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How do you write about those times in your life that push you so hard that you can hear your back breaking under the pressure. I for one get extremely tired of it. But it completely speaks to what this last 2 years have been for me and I am almost done. Done with the bull shit, done with falseness, done with fake spirituality, done with lies, done with manipulators, done, done and done.

What is with women who will beat an idea, hope or dream to death? “It will work, he will change, she will do what she said, they will keep their promises”, done, done and done. No they won’t, nor will he/she/they ever.

A human reveals their truth easily but often through rose colored glasses we refuse to see, or acknowledge what we instinctively know, and then we will walk right into a glass door all the while pretending this isn’t who they revealed themselves to be.

I’ve been teaching about self responsibility as long as I can remember and here I stand having denied my own truth. I gave away my power and lessons learned are having to be relearned. Thank God for our brains! Through my own volition I can make mistakes and correct them as often as I need to, that’s life. That’s why we are on a practice planet working at being human. But it doesn’t change that I am done dealing with this.

We are at a collective time of hardship on our planet, end times and all of that. We must have our eyes open and our hearts and minds engaged and their-in lies the problem. When life gets tough we close our eyes and ears singing lalalalalala I can’t hear you, so its not real. We spend time fooling ourselves until it is written on our face or reveled in our sickness and/or broken relationships.

Look up, Listen up, for the truth is there to see and is being sung for us all to hear.

This is not an easy ride; people are hurting, people are dying, hearts are being broken and lives are being changed forever. I am almost done.

After the death of my grandson my life was never going to be the same again because I would never be able to think on my pathetic weakness without remembering the horror my daughter had to endure. I allowed weakness to overtake me and hide the truth that was in front of my face. I had made a tactical error and trusted the untrustworthy. I had to face the lies I was telling myself. I leaned on myself rather than turning to God, the higher power that has always lead me.

My mistake, and I am done.

 

pressing on


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Each day comes with its difficulties and we have the choice to press on. There was a time when pressing on wasn’t a statement but a battle cry,

Nothing can hold me back, I am pressing on no matter what!

I get tired of the ever popular “stay positive” phrase. At times there seems very little realism in such a phrase, there will be times when things will most definitely not be fine. But press on we must.

My son recently told me I taught him that if you didn’t have a security blanket to hold you in life you didn’t sit down, you kept pressing on. When there is no one to save you, you must save yourself. This can be the motivation behind the phrase pressing on.

I am doing it for myself. I am doing it for my family.

When we press on, we declare we are doing it, taking the lead in our life towards change. One step in front of the other, even a timid step is a step, we must keep on taking steps. We must keep pressing on when life gets heavy because we all know that a burden is easier to carry while moving than starting and stoping. Best to get there and set that burden down than trying to lift it up on your back everyday.

Understanding the principle of pressing on means you can’t get lost in failure and retrying is part of the pressing on motto. Don’t let fear stop you from anything you choose to do. Take bold steps towards your goals.

Keep on pressing on!