That’s right I’m angry


download.png

That’s right I am angry. Oh does that hurt your precious sensibility? Funny how in spiritual circles we are to shun anger. Don’t be angry! Don’t get mad, get glad! Well you know what, I’m angry and I am ready to feel this anger and then tend to it. I figure if Jesus got angry and then anger is sometimes appropriate.

I think anger is useful! Because, and here’s the kicker, most humans won’t do anything about anything, until they finally get mad as hell. Then and only then, will they put down their phones, turn off the televisions, get off their asses and take a stand or do something about it.

I’m angry because mostly I see people bitching and whining like 3 year olds and their “life’s not fair” sentence. Get it in your head, LIFE IS NOT FAIR. That was a humans idea, nope, a humans opinion of how the world should be. In nature the snake eats the eggs of the birds, is that shit fair. We kill off everything for some whim, any whim, is that shit fair. We slave humans for greed in every possible way, is that shit fair. There is nothing fair about this world, I mean come on, our president walks around with the nuke codes and uncontrolable power to use them, is that shit fair.

Does it change anything to say it’s not fair. Yes sirrrrreee I’m angry.

I expected people to be for people, nope they will be for you if they can have what you have, or take what you have….

I expected woman to rise, to stand up. Now they are and it’s because they have been forced underneath men and their perverted sexual/power needs. Very few men believe in equality, ask one, or better yet check their track record. Most men slave their women and their children, and their mothers, and……………………….. I said most,

I expected humanity to rail against violence to children, nope men like to violate children, in the workforce, cheap labor and in the bedroom for titillating disgusting fun. Man once thought babies couldn’t feel pain, REALLY

I expected Gun control, nope I guess we will pry their guns from their cold dead hands, after a gunman shoots them with it. The horror is our country will never allow gun control until, and I doubt even then, someone powerful loses their child. This country loves guns not people. Money not people. Fame not people. Power not people.

I seek a divide in those living in skin suits who are not human but subhuman. Sound judgie…

I seek a dismissal to all positions lorded over children, parents learn to parent be the expert and boss for your kids. A wounded, unloved, used up child, grows up into a force that has become the backbone of our world, you know Dog eat Dog.

I am tired of all the humans who sat down because life was hard, drugs easier, blame faster, unconsiouness more desirable. What is fu*king wrong with you people.

And for all the so-called spiritual teachers, the self proclaimed gurus, the God gave me this assignment asshole church leaders, (talking to you Scientology and many others) bilking their people out of their hard earned money so you can be rich and famous, talking to you spiritual masters who use people, so you can be rich and famous while waving your God flag watching those around you suffer.  How’s your new Range Rover?

For family members who judge their family, boo on you. Who made you a God.

For the humans who use words like I love you, you are my friend, I will be there for you, and don’t mean a word you say, ******************************** this sentence has been censored.

So there, there’s my bitch. I am angry. Tomorrow maybe not so much.

Be a decent human. Be a team player. Be there for your family and friends.

Be something, stop doing nothing!

Awareness in Relationship


images-2.jpgI am having many ah moments reading Paul Selig’s books. It has reignited in me what my last disappointment I thought put out. Part of my search lately is trying to rise above the ceiling I kept running into while looking for truth in the many spiritual systems I have studied. In Churches, yoga studios, meditation centers and all manner of self-help gurus the same ideas of a rise was in place but they were held back by a wall or door that only the special could pass.
But within every organization I saw very few who had actually walked through the door and down the path to enlightenment but rather many that were teachings the steps while holding collection plates. And this group was usually the elite, the VIPs, the ones holding the knowledge that if you got close enough you could get too. Or so you thought.
Until we do the work of monitoring our influences, the false teachings will surround us and the truth will elude us, and all for thinking someone more powerful or with greater wisdom needs to lead. Every teaching you stumble upon is designed to awaken you to yourself. But our matrix is well designed and all you see, is whatever wrong you thought was done to you, whatever unfair thing happened to you, or an all around what the hell is going on you’re just a victim here…, it doesn’t make any of your projections real.
The true teachers teach love. Love as a vibration, a frequency not a sugary feel good orgasmic experience. It is a living frequency, the all-encompassing creative thread holding everything together.
Redefine true love for yourself and you will find that it has been there the entire time. In the beauty of a sunrise, the smile of a baby, the laughter of children, the purr of your cat, the wag of your dog’s tail, the snow flake falling on your hand, the last-minute nudge to turn right rather than left, the frequency of love is everywhere. You exist in the frequency of love and it is always in communication with you.
When you are in a love relationship with someone and they need you to change in some specific way in order to continue the relationship, think hard on this moment. Love in it’s truest form is freedom. In love we are free to be who we are with the choice to change that at any given time based on new information, free will baby. Love in the form of control, (you must do this for me), makes sacrifice a requirement of love. In love there will be sacrifice but to force a sacrifice of character is to kill off self-identity. That is not love but control.
From Paul’s work, “But when someone else sacrifices their own identity or those things they require to make them feel true to themselves for the benefit of another, you are not supporting integrity in your relationship. Period.”
We are free! Be free. Word I am word.
I’m reading “The Book of Love and Creation”, start with “I am the Word” if you are not familiar with Paul Selig’s writings.

Which car is you on the Ferris wheel?


th.jpg

This picture represents one of the best ways I find in explaining the human experience. I find most people think of life in linear terms, born on this day, die on that day and every day in between just another day down the road. But in my experience life moves more in circles, spirals if you’re lucky. The way I look at it, we are on a Ferris Wheel.

I see us spinning on a wheel with designated start and stop points. For the linear thinker those would be the days of your birth and death. For those of us on the wheel the days of starting and stopping would also include days of redemption and atonement, resurrection and rebirth and other opportunities to start again, start over, move ahead or move along. Each point where the Ferris wheel pauses to let other beings on and off the wheel of life can be seen as way stations, where you receive advance training for the next station on your journey.

To be clear, on this symbolic Ferris Wheel the developmental stage of where you are at is represented by the location of your car on the Ferris wheel. See the wheel like the face of a clock. We enter each new stage of our lives at the car positioned at 6:00. It is the same position of the car where we get off, after having finished that cycle of experience. You are ready for a more advanced go around on the Ferris Wheel.

The one in this picture is the simplistic wheel of a beginner. All the basic stops line up with the hour hand of a clock. It takes one full turn to load each car on the Ferris Wheel and one full turn to empty it, adding new passengers.  Here’s a list of short one word definitions of each Ferris Wheel car.

6:00 Car- Car of Entrance or Car of Exit

7:00 Car-Car of Anticipation- the journey begins

8:00 Car-Car of caring-learning to love the situation you are in

9:00 Car- Car of blame-finding someone or something that is the reason the things are going like planned

10:00 Car- Car of rescue-thoughts of someone bailing you out, or now filled with righteous indignation you know how to save the world.

11:00 Car- Car of Ego-you develop your plan to save the world, your family, your lover

1200 Car- Car of Highest Hope – Car of Greatest Dread-the spark of renewed energy fans your inner fire, you are doing it! Or the plan is to big I can’t do it, this could crash and burn

1:00 Car-Car of Perspective-after the fall the air is the clearest

2:00 Car- Car of Waning Hope-the inevitable awareness that we cannot save anyone, we can only show them a door

3:00 Car- Car of Compromise- build a plan with many doors and some where you don’t want them. Eyes become opened to other realities

4:00 Car-Car of Inevitability- Realization that some things are just not going to work, passangers of the wheel will want to pick and choose the car they ride and avoid the cars they don’t want to ride

5:00 Car-Car of Relief-realization the someone other than us is in charge of the running of the Ferris Wheel. It is our job to become conscious of the ride.

6:00 Car-Car of Exit or Car of Entrance- with self acceptance new cars will show up carrying you towards the next Ferris Wheel designed with your lessons in mind.

Just a thought.

To think of life in this way gives me hope for all of humanity. I think of the energy that runs the Ferris Wheel as the highest energy of all. It gives me hope to think that humanity still has endless opportunities to start and stop on this ever forgiving Ferris Wheel of life. For our good it just keeps turning and turning continually offering its steadfast rhythm for our growth.

 

 

 

 

Another Awakening


th-1.jpg

The only real way to know you are moving forward on your path is the constant awakening that comes to shake things up. We become complacent in our ways, and fear keeps us stuck in repeating behaviors and cycles. Then the blessed breath of God blows through our lives moving us when we feel we can’t be moved.

It sometimes feels “bad” but it’s a blessing none the less.

There is an awakening waiting for you when you open the eyes of your heart and see your truth. It happens to me over and over again, it just happened.

When things change; in our level of understanding, when we can accept that our thinking may have been wrong, or truth may have been veiled from us, is when the greater consciousness shakes us up.

Our creator is interested in our growth not our stagnation.

To repair the relationship between Creator and ourselves is to be open enough to accept the truth that has been badly misconstrued as taught by some of our spiritual teachers and leaders. We are not bad we are misinformed. The seeming break in our relationship with Creator is false. We are not sinners to God we are sinners to our selves and each other. God never turned from us we turned away from God or consciousness or love, try hard not to get so caught up in language you miss the forest for the trees..

Now another way to say this for those who are intolerant of “spiritual language” is to say our relationship with our world presupposes that the world has no consciousness at all. We are just here and it doesn’t matter. Its our planet, it has no feeling, we can rape it of whatever we want. To many our planet has no caring for us and the universe is a cold place where stars and planets hurl through space, with maybe a rhyme and reason, depends on who you talk to. We have been lead astray and we know it. Tell me I’m not connected with my child and I will speak to you about my truth which is also yours.

The awakening is the awareness of the greater truth. It is a truth that has existed before us and will be here after us. Truth is truth. The awakening is to remind you of your connection to Creator so that no one can claim you are less than anyone or any group.

It’s the ultimate understanding that we were made or created in the image of…

Powerful words of truth that release everyone and allows us our rightful place. They are the truths of our faith.

Almost done


th.jpg

How do you write about those times in your life that push you so hard that you can hear your back breaking under the pressure. I for one get extremely tired of it. But it completely speaks to what this last 2 years have been for me and I am almost done. Done with the bull shit, done with falseness, done with fake spirituality, done with lies, done with manipulators, done, done and done.

What is with women who will beat an idea, hope or dream to death? “It will work, he will change, she will do what she said, they will keep their promises”, done, done and done. No they won’t, nor will he/she/they ever.

A human reveals their truth easily but often through rose colored glasses we refuse to see, or acknowledge what we instinctively know, and then we will walk right into a glass door all the while pretending this isn’t who they revealed themselves to be.

I’ve been teaching about self responsibility as long as I can remember and here I stand having denied my own truth. I gave away my power and lessons learned are having to be relearned. Thank God for our brains! Through my own volition I can make mistakes and correct them as often as I need to, that’s life. That’s why we are on a practice planet working at being human. But it doesn’t change that I am done dealing with this.

We are at a collective time of hardship on our planet, end times and all of that. We must have our eyes open and our hearts and minds engaged and their-in lies the problem. When life gets tough we close our eyes and ears singing lalalalalala I can’t hear you, so its not real. We spend time fooling ourselves until it is written on our face or reveled in our sickness and/or broken relationships.

Look up, Listen up, for the truth is there to see and is being sung for us all to hear.

This is not an easy ride; people are hurting, people are dying, hearts are being broken and lives are being changed forever. I am almost done.

After the death of my grandson my life was never going to be the same again because I would never be able to think on my pathetic weakness without remembering the horror my daughter had to endure. I allowed weakness to overtake me and hide the truth that was in front of my face. I had made a tactical error and trusted the untrustworthy. I had to face the lies I was telling myself. I leaned on myself rather than turning to God, the higher power that has always lead me.

My mistake, and I am done.

 

Being real


Unknown.jpeg

As a woman with a mouth, meaning I say it like it is and I am not into sugaring coating things for the masses, if you don’t get it or like it, move on! The problem is trying to be a part of spiritual communities that pander to their community rather than teach, because 1) they don’t want to upset anyone with their beliefs, 2)they want your money they could careless what you think, 3) they have no real interest in your spiritual growth, at all. Pandering has never been beneficial to anyone or anything. Real change can only occur when pain does the driving. None of us wants to be uncomfortable, me least of all, but in the end pain is what moves humans from one state to the next. We need our spiritual communities to be better about teaching this.

Women right now as I see it, are more interested in looking good than sounding good, they would rather feel good but they don’t mean deep down inside, they mean lets have a glass of wine, so I can feel good. We are ignoring our power and subjecting ourselves to the new norm which is shut up, keep your moth closed and do what I say, oh thats the old way, never worked, never will. Real women are not told to shut up because who would walk up to that raging power and who has the courage… they don’t they aim guns, they wrap their hands around our throats, they threaten our existence. That is not keeping it real, thats showing how fear motivates being unreal.

We were meant to be real. We were each given a voice a point of view and the mental capacity to be all we desired to be. The world is a mental projection of our thoughts and feelings. If you feel bad about your life, chances are your life sucks, and sickness is looking for you in what ever way it can get to you. Do you remember when women, “went through the change” they spoke quietly of those women because it was like they were losing their minds. Did it ever occur to anyone maybe at the time of the change a woman has finally had about enough of the fricking weakness that is the leadership of our families and our world.

I am teaching my daughter how to be a powerful woman and what that means as a mother and partner. I am showing her the best I can that it is her energy field that holds her house together and helps her to understand her partner and her children. We have to be taught to listen to the wisdom that is in us, and hear the growing strength of our internal voice. For most women it’s the voice of their mother, holy shit, that is horrifying if the mother wasn’t able to mother, so then we must mother ourselves so we can mother our own children. We have to be real to our situation not dream of butterfly kisses, if you are down in the trenches like most of us there is not much sweet going on down there.

The strength of a woman is in her voice. The power of a woman is the light shining from herself like a shield, the love of a woman is in her eyes, sparkling when filled with love or dim when not. When we accept the norm of todays standard I find I am looking at women whose face registers nothing but the needle they worshiped for the God of youth, thats not keeping it real, thats selling yourself, please don’t give me that, we have the right to remain as young as possible in whatever way, nope “Don’t go gentle into that dark night” be real, being who you are makes you powerful, it is not how you look, nor has it ever been.

Those women who move through social situations based on looks are the ones who lose their shit mid 40’s, it is beyond they understanding that their power had nothing to do with how they look. It is and always has been dependent on the “who” you are and whether or not you are in touch with your source, are you? This is what the spiritual community was meant to fix. Becoming your best self, through the knowledge of that which is more powerful than you and then learning to hear the voice that loves you supports you and desires to lead you to success. Perfection is a process that goes on and on never finished so perfect yourself by staying real.

So again, whose voice are you listening to, and are you lowering your voice in order not to “upset” the status quo?

Are you being real? Be real in your grace!

 

Judge much


Unknown

Why are people still judging other people? Why aren’t we first learning to understand, be truly informed, exercising a non judgmental non reactionary way of being? Educated action rather than idiotic reaction!

It is often hard to understand other people. Who are they, where do they come, why do they believe the way they do? The word other being a starting point, we consider people ‘other’ from our selves because of the differences and thus the judgement begins. A She says, “He is not me, he does not know me, he wants to take from me, he wants to hurt me,” and the he says, “she is not me, she does not know me, she wants to take from me, she wants to hurt me.” Change the pronouns same story different day.

Maybe no one wants to hurt anyone and everyone would like to just be ok.

We judge the “others” because we think we know, because we are afraid, because we think something bad is going to happen and when it does we know who to blame.

Right now you can’t talk about anything because you will run into judgement everywhere.

Want to save the children, you are letting terrorists into the country

Want to send money, you are funding terrorism

Want to open your doors, you are giving away our resources

People who judge are very righteous in the reason for the judgement. Finger wagging and responsibility avoided, brain shut off from reason.

If you want to be a part of the change you wish to see in the world at least for the next few weeks, then start by limiting your judgements. If you are finger wagging about things going on halfway around the world from you, and the only source of info is tv, get some more info.

Get educated if you want to fly a judgement flag, know what you are talking about and remember beyond anything else,

Judge not lest ye be judged!