Moody Monday


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It’s a grey moody Monday here in my neck of the world. Hard to be motivated when the sun decided to take the day off or the clouds are working over time, seemingly promised time and a half if they show up and cover the sun all the dang day.

Great job clouds!

In a world…

or say consciousness did pay attention to you when you spoke, hey cloud move it already, can you imagine the power? (its within you)

say that consciousness had consciousness and knew what you needed even as you thought you had a knowing of your self…Who knows ya baby, better than you know yourself?

DOES SOMEONE KNOW YOU BETTER THAN YOUR SELF! She said screaming

Then there could be your reason for moody Mondays.

Who wouldn’t be pissed off walking around being someone they are not?

Who wouldn’t be upset that their insides do not match their outsides?

Who wouldn’t be upset when every time you said a word others heard you say a different word?

IS ANYONE LISTENING?

WHY AREN’T YOU SAYING WHAT YOU NEED TO SAY?

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

Get out there this moody Monday and make this day your own!

GO, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR????????????

You need me again, I’ll be here for terrible Tuesday, wicked Wednesday, torturous Thursday, and freaky Friday,

until we get back to sensational Saturday followed by sunsational Sunday

then next monday will just be a monday, but a magical Monday followed by a terrific Tuesday, a wonderful Wednesday, a termendous Thursday, to fun freaky Friday,

we can do this

Almost done


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How do you write about those times in your life that push you so hard that you can hear your back breaking under the pressure. I for one get extremely tired of it. But it completely speaks to what this last 2 years have been for me and I am almost done. Done with the bull shit, done with falseness, done with fake spirituality, done with lies, done with manipulators, done, done and done.

What is with women who will beat an idea, hope or dream to death? “It will work, he will change, she will do what she said, they will keep their promises”, done, done and done. No they won’t, nor will he/she/they ever.

A human reveals their truth easily but often through rose colored glasses we refuse to see, or acknowledge what we instinctively know, and then we will walk right into a glass door all the while pretending this isn’t who they revealed themselves to be.

I’ve been teaching about self responsibility as long as I can remember and here I stand having denied my own truth. I gave away my power and lessons learned are having to be relearned. Thank God for our brains! Through my own volition I can make mistakes and correct them as often as I need to, that’s life. That’s why we are on a practice planet working at being human. But it doesn’t change that I am done dealing with this.

We are at a collective time of hardship on our planet, end times and all of that. We must have our eyes open and our hearts and minds engaged and their-in lies the problem. When life gets tough we close our eyes and ears singing lalalalalala I can’t hear you, so its not real. We spend time fooling ourselves until it is written on our face or reveled in our sickness and/or broken relationships.

Look up, Listen up, for the truth is there to see and is being sung for us all to hear.

This is not an easy ride; people are hurting, people are dying, hearts are being broken and lives are being changed forever. I am almost done.

After the death of my grandson my life was never going to be the same again because I would never be able to think on my pathetic weakness without remembering the horror my daughter had to endure. I allowed weakness to overtake me and hide the truth that was in front of my face. I had made a tactical error and trusted the untrustworthy. I had to face the lies I was telling myself. I leaned on myself rather than turning to God, the higher power that has always lead me.

My mistake, and I am done.

 

Does it take strength to be strong?


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And does it make you strong to have strength?

There is a yoga sequence we do called t-sequence, you stand feet together, arms out, shoulder height elbows straight, like a T. We hold this in class anywhere from 3 minutes( I wish) to however long teacher decides we need to have our arms out straight without screaming for mercy. Try it, see how long you can do it! Because it’s funny, women with no real body strength are so much more likely to be able to hold their arms out longer than men who claim to be strong.

Eventually we get it does not take being strong to have strength. I may not be strong but don’t you mess with me or you will see my strength.

Being strong is awesome I need someone strong to open things and destroy things but thats it. I’ll need your strength for every thing else. Strong will not hold my heart, it will not ease my pain, it will not kiss the boo boo away, but your strength will.

I don’t need you to lift a car today I need you to have the strength to sit with me while I feel this way, and cry or laugh. Your strength gives me the freedom to be vulnerable. If you wave your strong in my face I may falter and not speak to you. I need strength to get me through.

When I reach for creator because there is no one else to reach towards I need creator’s strength. I need to know I’ll be ok and that God has my back. Because you people who claim to be strong often run when the going gets tough. You may be strong but truly you are weak. What happens to you when the strong is gone?

I’m tired of strong, I’ve been strong my entire life in every way possible, I have tried to be so strong until life got so hard, so difficult, so painful, that I let the pile of control I was holding fall to the floor. I told using manipulative people to hit the road. I refused the strong arm applied to make me feel weak and unsure. I refused the strong worded opinionated human and had them take their story of strong somewhere else.

In essence I told strong to move on and I felt my strength comeback to me.

pressing on


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Each day comes with its difficulties and we have the choice to press on. There was a time when pressing on wasn’t a statement but a battle cry,

Nothing can hold me back, I am pressing on no matter what!

I get tired of the ever popular “stay positive” phrase. At times there seems very little realism in such a phrase, there will be times when things will most definitely not be fine. But press on we must.

My son recently told me I taught him that if you didn’t have a security blanket to hold you in life you didn’t sit down, you kept pressing on. When there is no one to save you, you must save yourself. This can be the motivation behind the phrase pressing on.

I am doing it for myself. I am doing it for my family.

When we press on, we declare we are doing it, taking the lead in our life towards change. One step in front of the other, even a timid step is a step, we must keep on taking steps. We must keep pressing on when life gets heavy because we all know that a burden is easier to carry while moving than starting and stoping. Best to get there and set that burden down than trying to lift it up on your back everyday.

Understanding the principle of pressing on means you can’t get lost in failure and retrying is part of the pressing on motto. Don’t let fear stop you from anything you choose to do. Take bold steps towards your goals.

Keep on pressing on!

On being instead of doing


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These are tumultuous times! Problems with the environment natural disasters and the personal life of most of us is being thrown into the air. Its time to change people or like the hard wood you will be snapped. Its time to be like the bamboo, bendable, changeable, adaptable, surely you feel this. The old ways are just not going to do, we need new answers to old questions.

Like most, my life is in an in-between space, the one between my old life and the new budding one, to young to be its own, yet I must nurture what I do not know is coming. Change is in the air but so is chaos hard to read the signs. No wonder our bodies are a mess there are mixed messages running the airwaves. Where do we go for help? What do we do when we feel overwhelmed?

As a very mental person, I am always thinking, always thinking. On a walk recently I was out of my mind with an issue that has been plaguing me, the what do I do? It seems so trivial in a world with so much pain but every human going through a life changing life transformation is hurting in some way. Some in small ways, a little dissatisfaction with their present situation, others downright depressed over the oh my God of it all. What are we supposed to do?

If you know me you know I have conversations with God, like Jesus said when asked how do we pray, he said, pray like you are talking to your father, I talk to God in prayer. Lately the conversations have been heated as I feel desperate in my knowing that I’m not where I am supposed to be or doing what I am supposed to be doing, the feeling is undeniable.

In walks the idea of faith, faith is continually moving when you see nowhere to go. I am trying to walk in faith like I am held and lead, but my mind makes me a slave to the oh my God what am I supposed to be doing, over and over. So I say to God, I just don’t feel right, I just don’t feel like I am doing what I am supposed to be doing or I should be doing more, Oh my God please,

I get this message back, “What do you think I am doing out here? DO you think I worry about my work or where I am going to go? DO I worry about being in the right space, I am everything, everywhere. DO I plead to the heavens to be heard by my very creation? I, God do not have to do anything, nothing at all because I am being everything all of the time. Look at your arm, it says be still and know I am God,

so know I am God and doing it by being God.” Awesome!

Then we can go back to being human beings and not humans doing.

Let’s BE with God so God can Be with us.

 

Being real


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As a woman with a mouth, meaning I say it like it is and I am not into sugaring coating things for the masses, if you don’t get it or like it, move on! The problem is trying to be a part of spiritual communities that pander to their community rather than teach, because 1) they don’t want to upset anyone with their beliefs, 2)they want your money they could careless what you think, 3) they have no real interest in your spiritual growth, at all. Pandering has never been beneficial to anyone or anything. Real change can only occur when pain does the driving. None of us wants to be uncomfortable, me least of all, but in the end pain is what moves humans from one state to the next. We need our spiritual communities to be better about teaching this.

Women right now as I see it, are more interested in looking good than sounding good, they would rather feel good but they don’t mean deep down inside, they mean lets have a glass of wine, so I can feel good. We are ignoring our power and subjecting ourselves to the new norm which is shut up, keep your moth closed and do what I say, oh thats the old way, never worked, never will. Real women are not told to shut up because who would walk up to that raging power and who has the courage… they don’t they aim guns, they wrap their hands around our throats, they threaten our existence. That is not keeping it real, thats showing how fear motivates being unreal.

We were meant to be real. We were each given a voice a point of view and the mental capacity to be all we desired to be. The world is a mental projection of our thoughts and feelings. If you feel bad about your life, chances are your life sucks, and sickness is looking for you in what ever way it can get to you. Do you remember when women, “went through the change” they spoke quietly of those women because it was like they were losing their minds. Did it ever occur to anyone maybe at the time of the change a woman has finally had about enough of the fricking weakness that is the leadership of our families and our world.

I am teaching my daughter how to be a powerful woman and what that means as a mother and partner. I am showing her the best I can that it is her energy field that holds her house together and helps her to understand her partner and her children. We have to be taught to listen to the wisdom that is in us, and hear the growing strength of our internal voice. For most women it’s the voice of their mother, holy shit, that is horrifying if the mother wasn’t able to mother, so then we must mother ourselves so we can mother our own children. We have to be real to our situation not dream of butterfly kisses, if you are down in the trenches like most of us there is not much sweet going on down there.

The strength of a woman is in her voice. The power of a woman is the light shining from herself like a shield, the love of a woman is in her eyes, sparkling when filled with love or dim when not. When we accept the norm of todays standard I find I am looking at women whose face registers nothing but the needle they worshiped for the God of youth, thats not keeping it real, thats selling yourself, please don’t give me that, we have the right to remain as young as possible in whatever way, nope “Don’t go gentle into that dark night” be real, being who you are makes you powerful, it is not how you look, nor has it ever been.

Those women who move through social situations based on looks are the ones who lose their shit mid 40’s, it is beyond they understanding that their power had nothing to do with how they look. It is and always has been dependent on the “who” you are and whether or not you are in touch with your source, are you? This is what the spiritual community was meant to fix. Becoming your best self, through the knowledge of that which is more powerful than you and then learning to hear the voice that loves you supports you and desires to lead you to success. Perfection is a process that goes on and on never finished so perfect yourself by staying real.

So again, whose voice are you listening to, and are you lowering your voice in order not to “upset” the status quo?

Are you being real? Be real in your grace!

 

Lift your head


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I see a lot of drop necks now, people staring at their device rather than heads up, eyes forward. Most young people will tell you looking down at their device rarely causes them to run into things, of course statistical odds haven’t caught up with most of them, yet. They don’t quite get what the big deal is anyway. They just don’t know what an evolutionary coup it was to get that frontal lobe. The ability to think and have complex thought, awesome and then boom, we forget the importance of the neck. The neck is where the nerves carrying the brains impulse signals move. Time spent bending the neck makes the communication bridge between the brain and the body divided and unable to move information.

What once was an ease of communication from your brain to the rest of your nervous system has become the playground for disregard. Go ahead bend your neck all day long it won’t matter! Yah it matters, it can cause your body skeletal issues from chronic neck pain to a possible hump on the back. Constantly change the position of a fixed flexible bone all the way through the brittle years of middle age and your posture will change, you will get shorter and your spine one day will be stooped. On top of what can happen physically the constant bent neck most certainly impedes signals produced in your brain to get where they need to go to keep your mental self in check.

Remember what happens when you put a rubber band around a finger, we use to do that as kids, cuts off circulation take off the band circulation restored. The same action is going on in the neck on a different scale, the constant bending the neck restricts nervous impulse from moving freely, this is minimal during regular neck use but think about it, your kid spends an hour on their phone, looking down, they walk the streets looking down, they sit on the bus, in the car, everywhere looking down. How is it that what took eons of evolutionary time, learning to look up and stand upright, allowing the light to stimulate the frontal lobe and the masters glands of the body, to allowing us to lose it by continually looking down? Are we really getting smarter with all this looking down or is it stealing our chance for experience and growth?

Are we slaves to our devices and are the masters pleased with their control?

Even if one argued that using intuition to see both up and out while looking down does make someone ahead of the game, it still leaves the disrupted signal dominant, you are not playing with a full deck. Once a nerve is pinched, or the original pathways moved, you are not the same and something has to compensate.

I think it might be time to think about why we are giving up the evolutionary advantage to looking up. Keep the neck free of kinks so that all information moving through the spine can be utilized. The communication highway through the neck is developed and moves through the physical but it also includes spiritual impulses as well. But what would be the point of having advanced spiritual thought if the vessel you are in is trapped in animalistic behavior because you chose to look down blocking off the frontal lobes ability to sense light and communicate with a higher vibration resonating in the universe. Your freewill determines what you voluntarily do, so look up more often than down, realize the evolutionary advantage to being the smartest in the room, don’t let those that benefit from our ignorance win.