Moody Monday


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It’s a grey moody Monday here in my neck of the world. Hard to be motivated when the sun decided to take the day off or the clouds are working over time, seemingly promised time and a half if they show up and cover the sun all the dang day.

Great job clouds!

In a world…

or say consciousness did pay attention to you when you spoke, hey cloud move it already, can you imagine the power? (its within you)

say that consciousness had consciousness and knew what you needed even as you thought you had a knowing of your self…Who knows ya baby, better than you know yourself?

DOES SOMEONE KNOW YOU BETTER THAN YOUR SELF! She said screaming

Then there could be your reason for moody Mondays.

Who wouldn’t be pissed off walking around being someone they are not?

Who wouldn’t be upset that their insides do not match their outsides?

Who wouldn’t be upset when every time you said a word others heard you say a different word?

IS ANYONE LISTENING?

WHY AREN’T YOU SAYING WHAT YOU NEED TO SAY?

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

Get out there this moody Monday and make this day your own!

GO, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR????????????

You need me again, I’ll be here for terrible Tuesday, wicked Wednesday, torturous Thursday, and freaky Friday,

until we get back to sensational Saturday followed by sunsational Sunday

then next monday will just be a monday, but a magical Monday followed by a terrific Tuesday, a wonderful Wednesday, a termendous Thursday, to fun freaky Friday,

we can do this

What’s the point!


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I’m not sure what the point is anymore. I’ve been writing and writing and just like teaching if no one is getting it, why continue?

I see pain, I have gone through pain, the entire country is going through pain and yet everyone seems stuck in their own limited mind-set. It doesn’t matter what you say, nobody is listening. They can only hear their own voice because they are soooo right. So many people believe they are right. God only knows what is going on.

If everyone is right why are we in the shape we are in?

I just read that a first grader took a gun to school and it fired into the ground thank God. Yet gun control, no way, you can take my gun from my cold dead hand, which in the hand of a 6-year-old is entirely possible. They don’t know what that gun can do. You kill someone on a video game they get back up, they turn into zombies, they don’t die.. but you will if it’s aimed at you when it goes off.

There are negative racist remarks on the bathrooms of our schools, you know where we keep our precious children safe. There are grown ass adults spouting racist, prejudiced rhetoric everywhere, and we wonder why their children do?

TV is hard to watch, the news? what news… if these are the end times then I say speed it up.

I’m tired of war mongers, haters, people only interested in taking…

In my country the welfare of the people is dependent on the number of rich influential beings who may either profit or be harmed by what’s going on. For example the pipeline, let’s poison these people’s water , but not these people over here…

The entire teaching of we are one is so lost on the rich. The teaching we are our brother and sisters keeper, so lost on the rich. The teaching this land is your land this land is my land, so lost on the rich who would own everything and charge us for it…

But no one cares and woe be to you who do…

Sorry people I’m tired of it. What’s the point…

I’ll tell you what the point is, my family, my children, my grandchildren, my adopted people of all races, genders and faiths…

Come near them, and I’ll show you the point of staying the fu*k back…

That’s right its not funny anymore

What if…


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These are difficult days as we Americans walk towards a presidential election that could be seen as most embarrassing and at the very least it feels as if the people are not realizing the truth of what is going on. The name calling, finger wagging, who said what, and who did what, will not matter as soon as one of them is in office. We have to face it, big business in America is about money, power, and greed, and this election proves it is moving right in front of our faces. What use to be hidden behind closed doors is now out in the open if we would just pay attention.

There is not a one of us who have not tried to reduce their taxes, said stupid things, did what we felt was ok when we bent the law to our desires. Been on the phone in your car lately? Drive over the speed limit lately? Told your partner a lie, or worse your kids? I could go on and on. How about you without sin cast the first stone!

At this time it would be best if we got over the actions of three-year old’s and realize what might happen if one or the other get into office and people one of them most assuredly will. We need to clear the veil in front of our eyes and see.

Both of these candidates speak of the deterioration of what was once a free society. What if we began to remember that most all of us came from immigrant families? What if most of us stopped listening to the finger wag of blame and demanded truth for a change? What if we demanded truth above all and then choose the candidate that reflected our values?

Here’s one for you, what if we remembered that we are all lying about something, hiding something, or simply choosing not to look into our own shadows? I see people ready to point at someones else’s sin but can’t seem to see the curtain of sin veiling their eyes.

This is not an excuse for sinning or wrong doing or a get out of jail free card. This is the recognition that we have all done something along the lines of what we are accusing the candidates of having done. Read personal emails at work lately? Done some shopping while on the clock?

None of us are without sin. None of us are any better than the other truthfully. Just like you cannot be a little pregnant you can’t be a little sinner.

Pick the one who you know is not going to be reactive and throw a fit if something doesn’t go their way, somewhere in the world. Pick the one who is going to have our countries best interest at heart and I don’t mean which one wants to be the most powerful person but understands the responsibility of being in the most powerful person in the world. Pick the one who thinks first rather than mouths off and apologizes. Pick the one who has a good head on their shoulder not the best pant suit or best hair, or the one who understands fidelity in a partnership. The one who wins will be the one representing us, who are you?

What if we all decided to do the right thing rather than the thing that makes us right?

Are we wrong?


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It’s in the searching for answers that we become so desperate that we accept what is almost right or we overlook what we know to be wrong in a “it’s going to be ok”, kind of way. We will turn off our internal truth marker just to “make things work”. Such a waste of our time. If that feeling of wrongness is set into your craw and you are ignoring it for whatever reason, sickness is around the corner be it physical, mental, or spiritual. Take my word for it. Especially, if someone is telling you it will all be fine!

I just watched a movie called Holy Hell, it’s a documentary about a cult in California. I’ve become very interested in cults because of my own near miss with several. The questioning mind seeks answers and under duress will see what is presented rather than what our internal truth monitor tells us. Worse are the straight up lies a “spiritual”leader will tell. In this documentary this leader was found to be having sex with the men rather than the women. All the while proclaiming celibacy as a path to enlightenment. Right!!!

This person is a hypnotherapist and exceedingly good at mind control. All of the students were to take sessions with him at a cost “of course” and during these sessions he would begin the grooming process of his next victim. He had a different boy for different days and times and “of course” these relationships were sacred and special. This is the exact same thing I have heard over and over again whether it’s women or men the “teacher” grooms his victims to their special-ness. I mean really who when searching for truth from a “teacher” doesn’t want to be seen as “special”.

Google spiritual teachers/leaders and watch the people sitting around the “teacher”. It’s not normal to have that level of awe for another human, because THEY ARE HUMAN! We are to bow down to no one but the master in our hearts.

This world breaks my heart. Because in the world of spirituality it’s not just a grooming for sex that draws this same outcome of loss of self. Some people are told to leave their families and break all ties with them. In some, it’s give all your money to the cause, work for the cause, all in the name of God or the teacher or whatever is set before them. Young girls given in marriage to the leader, middle aged people worked like slaves until their usefulness is done and so is their money. The horror!

What the HELL is going on…

We are wrong! It’s never right to serve any master but ourselves. Spirituality is to teach we are our own master because the Divine is within us. When a grown person gives up their power to serve a master outside of themselves that’s one thing but when someone else makes that decision for someone else, the karma… special level of hell and so on…

There is no other answer than maintaining self responsibility and here also is where we have tripped up. When we truly believe another human’s truth over our own common sense, even when we have glitter in our eyes by the beauty of the teacher, someone should slap us out of our revelry. In old days it would have been seen as black magic, isn’t it? Oh that’s right we don’t believe in magic, or Satan, or the devil, much less God.

We are wrong if we believe a human has answers for us, because the true teacher/leader takes you to where your answers exist. Some of us need leading and hand holding that’s fine but a teacher or integrity will never say I’m always right, how can they be…THEY ARE HUMAN.

We are here on planet Earth to learn and the only real truth is the one you discover for yourself. We are wrong if we believe anyone knows our truth, only the Divine knows because we were created by the creative force and this same force is not going to force you to believe it, you may and we do learn for ourselves.

Practice promoting your own internal truth monitor, teach your children well and if someone’s “master/teacher” has a hold over a loved one, pray your ass off and keep telling them they are wrong until they reach out to you because you love them and you will have been the only one telling them. Eventually truth wins, truth always wins!

 

 

Almost done


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How do you write about those times in your life that push you so hard that you can hear your back breaking under the pressure. I for one get extremely tired of it. But it completely speaks to what this last 2 years have been for me and I am almost done. Done with the bull shit, done with falseness, done with fake spirituality, done with lies, done with manipulators, done, done and done.

What is with women who will beat an idea, hope or dream to death? “It will work, he will change, she will do what she said, they will keep their promises”, done, done and done. No they won’t, nor will he/she/they ever.

A human reveals their truth easily but often through rose colored glasses we refuse to see, or acknowledge what we instinctively know, and then we will walk right into a glass door all the while pretending this isn’t who they revealed themselves to be.

I’ve been teaching about self responsibility as long as I can remember and here I stand having denied my own truth. I gave away my power and lessons learned are having to be relearned. Thank God for our brains! Through my own volition I can make mistakes and correct them as often as I need to, that’s life. That’s why we are on a practice planet working at being human. But it doesn’t change that I am done dealing with this.

We are at a collective time of hardship on our planet, end times and all of that. We must have our eyes open and our hearts and minds engaged and their-in lies the problem. When life gets tough we close our eyes and ears singing lalalalalala I can’t hear you, so its not real. We spend time fooling ourselves until it is written on our face or reveled in our sickness and/or broken relationships.

Look up, Listen up, for the truth is there to see and is being sung for us all to hear.

This is not an easy ride; people are hurting, people are dying, hearts are being broken and lives are being changed forever. I am almost done.

After the death of my grandson my life was never going to be the same again because I would never be able to think on my pathetic weakness without remembering the horror my daughter had to endure. I allowed weakness to overtake me and hide the truth that was in front of my face. I had made a tactical error and trusted the untrustworthy. I had to face the lies I was telling myself. I leaned on myself rather than turning to God, the higher power that has always lead me.

My mistake, and I am done.

 

pressing on


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Each day comes with its difficulties and we have the choice to press on. There was a time when pressing on wasn’t a statement but a battle cry,

Nothing can hold me back, I am pressing on no matter what!

I get tired of the ever popular “stay positive” phrase. At times there seems very little realism in such a phrase, there will be times when things will most definitely not be fine. But press on we must.

My son recently told me I taught him that if you didn’t have a security blanket to hold you in life you didn’t sit down, you kept pressing on. When there is no one to save you, you must save yourself. This can be the motivation behind the phrase pressing on.

I am doing it for myself. I am doing it for my family.

When we press on, we declare we are doing it, taking the lead in our life towards change. One step in front of the other, even a timid step is a step, we must keep on taking steps. We must keep pressing on when life gets heavy because we all know that a burden is easier to carry while moving than starting and stoping. Best to get there and set that burden down than trying to lift it up on your back everyday.

Understanding the principle of pressing on means you can’t get lost in failure and retrying is part of the pressing on motto. Don’t let fear stop you from anything you choose to do. Take bold steps towards your goals.

Keep on pressing on!

Ready for growth


It is a tendency of the human to remain stuck in behaviors, endless cycles of why is this happening to me? Without the awareness that doing the same thing and expecting different results is the definition of insanity.

We can say happy new year but do you know many who made it a new year, or will it be the same year played over again. It is hard to change, really hard and the motivation to do it nearly has to be done with a gun to the head, you can’t make me eat that salad I will eat this thick juicy burger, heart attack or not changing habits are nearly as hard as giving up addictions.

It is the same with behaviors, maybe more so. We can be motivated to lose weight or take better care of yourselves for a time, especially after a major health scare or before a reunion or new love. Changing mental behaviors takes an entirely different motivation and this is usually when behavior goes underground. We develop sneakiness so people don’t know what we are up to, we lose our self in lies hiding who we truly are.

I myself, just went through terrible heartache. I’m sorry but there is nothing worse than heartache. You can run from a lot but once the heart gets involved it’s a different ballgame. We will give ourselves away, we will become somebody else, we will lose our dignity giving someone our power or love or money or, or, or. Being in love with the wrong person is a problem.

The games we play with ourselves are the worst ones, the inner lies, the bargaining, all of it, so sad, and truly a loss of power. It’s a great trick of the darker side of life making strong women weak. I know if he could just see me, or hear me, or feel me, or or, or. None of it true if he had wanted you he would be there now! We can’t understand the heart and its nature, it surly wants what it wants and it takes a great bit of work to get the heart to see the way of truth.

The truth is love and being in love is not the problem it’s the why of love. Is it insecurity, fear, self loathing that holds you, is it really love or is it control. Is it love if you get angry because they cannot see you. Then it’s not love. Love and true love is unconditional and unattached. Means we love who we love, we can help it but we can’t make someone love us. And like David Bowie said, we need to learn to love and be loved. It’s not loving someone and loved back by that someone. Love is a big word.

I see where I went wrong in my thinking and I am so grateful for the lesson and glad I was able to stop myself from complete humiliation because a women’s heart is a fickle thing and not controlled will overtake your mind and drive you crazy, making you text (just because), call (because I wanted to hear your voice), write (I was just wondering if you are ok), You get this, same story different year!

Your true love will find you, if it’s your destiny it will happen. If not enjoy the company of the one you are with or learn to be alone. Two halves still don’t make a whole just 2 halves. To grow and mature is to look out your eyes, not through a glass darkly, not through rose colored glasses, but with your clear eyes. See what is really there because if science has taught us anything its that there is more out there than meets the eye.

Once your eyes are open there is a lot to see. When you look around you will see most people are walking through life with their eyes wide shut, not a way to live. The difficulty of the times we live in makes sticking to Divinity and the truth a way to be safe in life. Listen to no one but those who can be trusted (very small list). Open your mind, read a book, make yourself grow in a different way this year. Take the steps to change one thing. Change is hard but not impossible.

I heard a new definition of sin, it’s not using your brain. The greatest gift given, our minds for thinking, for reasoning, for growth, for power, ours to control not to be overrun by someone else and their idea of life. The discerning mind is where it is at. As I realized my issue, after crying a while I pulled my head out of my ass and thought about what I was doing and what it was doing to me.

In times of loneliness and stress we will substitute one comfort for another. We are such creatures of habit and big pleasure seekers. We are not into pain and will do a lot of things to avoid it. As soon as I realized the mistake I went to work to correct it, I am going to practice the idea of unconditional love with non attachment, practice I said, and dedicate to bettering myself so when Mr or Ms Right appears on the horizon I will have my head up to see, not buried in a tissue crying over what I couldn’t have.

So I am ready for growth, Are you?