Awareness in Relationship


images-2.jpgI am having many ah moments reading Paul Selig’s books. It has reignited in me what my last disappointment I thought put out. Part of my search lately is trying to rise above the ceiling I kept running into while looking for truth in the many spiritual systems I have studied. In Churches, yoga studios, meditation centers and all manner of self-help gurus the same ideas of a rise was in place but they were held back by a wall or door that only the special could pass.
But within every organization I saw very few who had actually walked through the door and down the path to enlightenment but rather many that were teachings the steps while holding collection plates. And this group was usually the elite, the VIPs, the ones holding the knowledge that if you got close enough you could get too. Or so you thought.
Until we do the work of monitoring our influences, the false teachings will surround us and the truth will elude us, and all for thinking someone more powerful or with greater wisdom needs to lead. Every teaching you stumble upon is designed to awaken you to yourself. But our matrix is well designed and all you see, is whatever wrong you thought was done to you, whatever unfair thing happened to you, or an all around what the hell is going on you’re just a victim here…, it doesn’t make any of your projections real.
The true teachers teach love. Love as a vibration, a frequency not a sugary feel good orgasmic experience. It is a living frequency, the all-encompassing creative thread holding everything together.
Redefine true love for yourself and you will find that it has been there the entire time. In the beauty of a sunrise, the smile of a baby, the laughter of children, the purr of your cat, the wag of your dog’s tail, the snow flake falling on your hand, the last-minute nudge to turn right rather than left, the frequency of love is everywhere. You exist in the frequency of love and it is always in communication with you.
When you are in a love relationship with someone and they need you to change in some specific way in order to continue the relationship, think hard on this moment. Love in it’s truest form is freedom. In love we are free to be who we are with the choice to change that at any given time based on new information, free will baby. Love in the form of control, (you must do this for me), makes sacrifice a requirement of love. In love there will be sacrifice but to force a sacrifice of character is to kill off self-identity. That is not love but control.
From Paul’s work, “But when someone else sacrifices their own identity or those things they require to make them feel true to themselves for the benefit of another, you are not supporting integrity in your relationship. Period.”
We are free! Be free. Word I am word.
I’m reading “The Book of Love and Creation”, start with “I am the Word” if you are not familiar with Paul Selig’s writings.

What expectations

What expectations

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One of the hardest things to admit is the gigantic amount of energy that is expended holding onto expectations. It’s a difficult day of adulting when you learn that your expectations for life may have been a dream and one found only in your head. Similar to the scene in “Little Miss Sunshine” when big brother in the throes of puberty, sees his dream of being a pilot vanish as he discovers he’s color blind.

Oh what mighty expectations do you hold.

    • ex·pec·ta·tion
      a strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future.
      a belief that someone will or should achieve something.
      one’s prospects of inheritance.

     

And expectations have to do with belief, we believe something is going to happen or we will be saved or rescued, we have a ton of expectations. The worse kind are the expectations we carry in our heart about those we love and care about. We expect certain behavior. We expect that we can trust that person, or what this person is saying. Again expectation is a belief, but it doesn’t make it real, it just shows all of us that you hope it does.

Expectations have become an afterthought of “the secret movement”, or the law of positivity. Stay positive! See it happening!

What happens when it doesn’t? Is it now your fault for not reaching high enough? Is it your inability to expect correctly? Are you not doing it right? Do you need a refresher course in manifesting your destiny? Now for a limited time….$99.99 a refresher course on manifesting your destiny, hit the buy button…

The expectation on the planet is that there is answer to your specific issue. That there is a special staircase for your special rise to the top. There is a special person/teacher/pastor/partner waiting for your specialness and they will tell you what you need to do. You are most special , please continue to give, hit the button, and buy some good feelings, for a limited time only $19.95.

Our expectations are a problem. It is time to put responsibility back in our lap. We need to quit expecting anything. I know expecting seems correct, yet in the end expecting is you letting go of responsibility of whatever it is you are expecting. The highest spiritual teaching is the constant and consistent awareness of oneness with creator. There is no need to expect, constant oneness produces knowing, wisdom, and truth.

No one can make you happy or make you a success. No person on this planet has the permission to do for you what you must do for yourself. But, believe me, there is a gigantic population of would be helpers brimming with the promise to fulfill all of your expectations. And they take credit cards, cash, bitcoin and ultimately your blood.

Hand over your power to any human or group to fulfill your responsibilities and you can expect to be fulfilling someone else’s dream. You were created and placed here to figure out why. And please, quit expecting someone to tell you what your why is. No teacher or spiritual leader walking in truth will tell you because you have to know, you must have a knowing of yourself.

Dig deep, look within yourself, seek guidance but do it with open eyes or expect that guidance to lead you falsely.  Seek and ye shall find, knock and the door will be opened, ask and ye shall receive, all actions statements.

Stop expecting anything and begin knowing everything.

 

 

 

One step away

One step away

I sometimes wonder if humanity feels fear and pain the way they do because we are always like the poem reads, one step away.  We continue dwelling on our negative issues feeling lost and abandoned, as if the boo hoo-ing has gotten any of us anywhere.

We feel one step away and we stay one step away.

Frankly, I think we humans, are like puppies lost from their mother who is simply on the other side of the blanket but totally absent to them.

We cry out in our own loneliness and pain, because when we look up, our eyes are so swollen with tears we can’t see that something is actually there watching over us, there always was.

And it’s waiting for us to take a step, or a stand, or a breath, or something…

Deep down inside of us is the awareness that we were once a part of something, just like that drop of water aware of the ocean it lives in, that is how our beginning was. But we are spilt off from our beginnings and now feel all alone.

Because, we forgot where we came from. More importantly, we forgot that we did not create ourselves.

We are here, wrapped in our individual skins suits, thinking we are alone in our bodies and our experiences. We are not. You are but one step away from your brothers and sisters at all times, and at one, with the source of life, all of the time. You are perfectly seen in the unseen world, recognized as a spiritual being lost in your physical life.

You are at one with all the unseen spirits surrounding you, who are working to try to get you, to see and hear them. Not with your physical eyes and ears necessarily, but with the other sense you have

…you know your knowing, you know that you know at least sometimes, no one can tell you what you KNOW is wrong. You have been aware of your knowing of something in truth all of your life. Time to put that part of yourself to work.

This life is for you to figure out, no one not even your God will do this for you. It’s all you baby, and all your choice to do, or not to do.

You are here for a reason and the “what” that put you here, is well aware of you. You don’t believe in it but believe me, it believes in you.

When you feel that sense of aloneness that comes with despair, use your mind to remind you that you are one step away from the source that created you. One thought away from the creative energy that sustains you.

You have come one step away from everything and there you stay, far from everything, one step away.

So be with everything and there you stay, at one with everything, that’s never been, one step away.

 

 

 

Anchor of Hope

Anchor of Hope

I stopped writing some time ago, why bother? What difference does it make?

My life was derailed years ago and I have been swimming like hell to get back to some kind of shore. And I see a lot of people out here swimming the waters of “OH MY GOD ARE YOU KIDDING ME” with me. It seems we have become fish in a barrel to what ever feels the need to point a gun in our general direction, are we safe? What is life about now when we have stopped feeling safe in our surroundings? Safe in any sense of the word.

As a spiritual teacher I have looked around and watched the teachings fail us. Why are we in such a mess? So, I put myself and my work on hold. I needed a different teaching than everything is going to be ok, please! those people and their platitudes make me want to hit something. Have you seen the level of suffering that is going on? What can be done? What can we as a single person do to help? Is it all lost until this apparent fall is finished and the old guard dead?

Hopeless is how it feels!

But maybe that’s ok, maybe the old guard needs to die. Maybe what we are feeling is the death of the old world and its greedy humanity hating ways. Maybe it has to be a painful death so that light can begin to enter into the minds of men again. To bring humanity to the brink of extension, giving us all a near death experience especially to awaken the walking dead.

What we have to be careful of is the hopelessness of watching the worst of humanity struggle to keep in control dowsing us with a daily dose of negativity and back bending fear. Tragedy after tragedy can make a person turn their head away from the suffering of their brother or sister. “I’m only one person what can I do”, said way to often…

In the words of Jack Nicolson as the Joker in the first batman, this world needs an enema…

because as a humanity we are full of shit…

First rule of change, be the change you are looking for

Want to be peaceful in a non peaceful world, be peaceful at all costs.

Want to be loving in a non loving world, be loving at all costs.

Want to have hope in a hopeless world, be hopeful at all costs.

Last night, another sleepless night of never ending oh my God, What now? What next? the endless supplications to what feels like a unhearing God… I decided to listen to a podcast of Joel Osteen, I know so many people hate on this man, but I’ll tell you he loves God more than most do, anyway… he was talking about anchoring in hope,

here comes the God talk but listen to it this way… faith is the hope of things to come, faith needs hope, do you get that? If you claim you have faith, then you best be anchored in hope. In this easiest terms it means if you are steeping in fear like a used tea bag, you have lifted your anchor from hope, its trailing behind you like a tail not an anchor…

When life bogs you down with any kind of weighted personal issue and you have begun lamenting it, you have let your anchor go and you will find your self drifting back to hopeless ocean,

Open your eyes, see where you are and put your anchor back down.

Keep your anchor in check. Keep your anchor moored to hope. If you believe in a higher power then leave your anchor next to your God and quit flailing around like you don’t know, because you do know…

God is always there! Its you that moves around and forgets.

Anchor in Hope!

 

Staying in your lane


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Humans as a rule love to be the boss of things. They love to share their opinions and proselytize their beliefs. It is if you think about it a very hive mind behavior. A safety in numbers things. We like it best when others believe as we do and can feel like we are helping them as we firmly show them the errors of their ways. It helps us to feel better about the belief we have sunk our teeth into. There are people who still believe there is only one way towards salvation. And their definition of salvation is a bit one-sided.

Salvation is the act of saving or protecting from harm, risk, loss, destruction. So salvation can be the entrance of truth so that you may be saved from ignorance the greatest sin of all. Our search for truth, or salvation is a long road of truth seeking. My truth today is different than the truth of my yesterday’s. When I was younger I was a lot more rigid of what I thought truth was and how others were so very wrong.

Funny thing about time, growth, maturity… it changes your mind. It changes your perspective. And one must do this work for themselves. To stay in your lane is to understand that each human has a very unique hold of their perceptions, and their idea of the truth. All any of us can do is model behavior and belief. If what you say is truth or that your belief system”works” the proof is in the pudding they say, or it should be written all over your face, as the peace that surpasses understanding.

In the end none of us are changing anyone. As a parent you have power over your children… for a minute. We must lead by example, preach by behavior and spread hope by just being the peace we want to see in the world.

Stay in your lane. Love the lane your in. Try different lanes if you are dissatisfied with where you are at. Just remember all lanes are moving to somewhere and you are not the judge of where they go or how they get there. Stay in your lane.

 

 

 

We are starting again

We are starting again

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There are many reasons to write a blog, one being so you can be seen and adored by fans for your wit and so-called wisdom. This is not that kind of blog, as a matter of fact, this will be the kind of blog that you will either desire to read or you will burn this connection, heretic witch…oh well I say.

This is a coming to Jesus minute.

Something I have found hard for the last 11 years of my life is the absence of wisdom, and a complete lack of desire for reality. I mean for myself. The fantasy of our world is a much easier lie to tell ourselves, helping us to sleep at night, keeping us asleep during the day. You may even think that you want change or for things to be different. You still think you have control over outcomes. You think you live in reality, the real world, where shit is real and you can be killed, eaten, taken advantage of. That you have real choice.

Oh did you think you were actually awake, and in reality. Who’s reality…

No baby this is a dream…

There is no advancement in life without this knowledge. Sorry, you who think you know truth.

You are asleep at the wheel of your life. You feel alive, I did too. It seems like we are living in a reality. I mean really don’t tell me that last 5 day migraine was a figment of my imagination, I wanted to die, slit my throat, bleed out, it was as real as the letters you are reading right now.

Are these letters real or does your mind tell you these dashes mean something? Who interprets your words for you, who or what gives them meaning? These are the big questions.

You remember the song, row row row your boat gently down the stream, merrily merrily merrily merrily, life is but a dream.

We are living in a dream. Your mind as an advanced computer has given your eyes something to perceive and a world to find your way in and through. Apparently we have been tossed down here and now have to figure it out, in an eat or be eaten world.

Humanity will never move past the horror we are trapped in until someone, somewhere, comes out of the dream, kicking and screaming, trying to wake everyone up.

Guess what? I’ll be doing that. I have no idea of the name of the one who just through me out of my dream. The pain of that 5, 6 ,7 day headache drove me to an edge, no returning from that. Once you see differently you can never readjust your eyes to lies.

We are living in a lie, convinced of a material world that has no real backing, it’s an illusion, and believe me as I threw up my guts until my stomach threatened to follow I no more believed this is an illusion than you do right now. So convinced that your pain is real, your suffering is real, so was I.

Nope and wrong. Pain just happens to be one of the ways spirit talks to me, a human with a difficult past, seeminglyunloving uncaring parents and no real support in the real world. All of my power came from a belief that I had for myself. I had to get hard before they went at me again, I learned all tricks to side step, pain, any pain, emotional, physical, spiritual.

So when I fell in LA this last trip I already knew my head would respond. I get headaches like some people get indigestion or get pissed, a headache is always just a thought away, my head gives me buckets of pain.

Because I have believed I am the creator of myself. No one can help, no one cares frankly, and I’m living in a material world and I am a material girl. So many lies.

I am no more material than any of you are, your dream of reality is as powerful as mine was.

So I will lead a new charge. I am done swimming in a world of my own making. It sucks here. My body thinks it’s the boss of me and due to DNA weakness my body is a fu*king nightmare a lot of the time. So time to turn the channel and tune into a different version of reality.

In other words, I, during an experience of unimaginable pain, that I was not only forced to live through, but no amount of drugs would remove me from it. That suffering world be mine baby, all mine, and mine to fix, which I fu*king did, victory arms.

It is said that creator will give us know more than we can handle, or maybe its more important to say that the greater your intelligence, and willingness to change or see clearly, creator will assist in clearing the cob webs from your mind, the film in front of your eyes, and release you from the cage your heart is trapped in. Using any and all means available.

Stay with me, and I’ll explain it all, as it was and is revealed to me,

you know, heretic witch that I am.

 

 

What’s your hidden agenda?


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Can there be a hidden agenda when you find yourself; sitting, standing or ‘talking’ with a human that can barely lift their head?

Now, all eyes are down, phone in hand, zombie like gaze induced.

We know at once, what’s important to this human. Its status, its social standing, its virtual life. While eating, visiting, even working, all eyes on us…certainly not on you.

The human agenda has grown in its obviousness. Every moment can be known, be documented; fixed with photo shop, edited by spell check and instantaneously posted on Instagram. Like wearing a set of the Emperor’s new clothes we scream without sound; I am a star, I am a yogi, I am a spiritual teacher, I am a great mother/father/partner. I am beautiful, important, needed. I am lost, sad, horrified. I am the answer, I have the key, I have the map, I know the way…

Until we get that; it’s the same questions being asked, It’s the same feelings being felt, escaped and handled, we haven’t learned a thing.

The human condition has little changed; from the barbaric years of human sacrifices wait… we are still doing that…the human condition has little changed, period. You will find on the spiritual walk, path after path, all designed to do the same thing, enlighten you to this fact, nothing has ever changed. You have been chasing; money, power, fame, love, peace and you have not found it. You hide behind a hidden agenda of pretending to know what you want, or what you are looking for. Your hidden agenda drives your purpose in life and for most it’s just to keep the inner you hidden from sight. You are driven but to who knows where, to do who knows what?

And nothing will ever change.

Until you do…

So let’s get it out in the open, there is a hidden agenda within you. It’s an original operating instruction that was given to assist humans. It was, to seek the source of all, to find the maker and then merge with it. Really, underneath your desire to lose weight, get married, have a child, be the world savior, is this first operating instruction. Seek your source!

When our original instructions are obstructed in any way you become lost to your operational intent. You cannot merge with your original source because its signal bounces off of you rather than becomes a part of you. You can only merge with the signal when you open to it and it flows through you. Without merging  you are empty and this will cause you a feeling of discontentedness that you will try to fill with all manner of things.

Face it you are like a computer with bad code, you run at some capacity but not at full power.

But key in the proper code, boom. Keep your hidden agenda out in the open, search for the key that unlocks your secret heart and never give that password to anyone.