Snowfall


There is a gentle snow falling

covering the tracks

of the world and its noise

sending ugliness back

it falls on my face

and right down my arms

it seems so clean

with its clever charms

everyone loves snow

the children to play

but the snow covers tracks

that should have stayed

are we fooled so easily

by bright white snow

to think what lies beneath

had somewhere else to go

like a mouse to a cat

go ahead take that step

one leg to the knee

the next to the neck

the snow’s not your friend

nor a white wash for pain

its a sign that unconsciousness

is most peoples game

Moody Monday


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It’s a grey moody Monday here in my neck of the world. Hard to be motivated when the sun decided to take the day off or the clouds are working over time, seemingly promised time and a half if they show up and cover the sun all the dang day.

Great job clouds!

In a world…

or say consciousness did pay attention to you when you spoke, hey cloud move it already, can you imagine the power? (its within you)

say that consciousness had consciousness and knew what you needed even as you thought you had a knowing of your self…Who knows ya baby, better than you know yourself?

DOES SOMEONE KNOW YOU BETTER THAN YOUR SELF! She said screaming

Then there could be your reason for moody Mondays.

Who wouldn’t be pissed off walking around being someone they are not?

Who wouldn’t be upset that their insides do not match their outsides?

Who wouldn’t be upset when every time you said a word others heard you say a different word?

IS ANYONE LISTENING?

WHY AREN’T YOU SAYING WHAT YOU NEED TO SAY?

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

Get out there this moody Monday and make this day your own!

GO, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR????????????

You need me again, I’ll be here for terrible Tuesday, wicked Wednesday, torturous Thursday, and freaky Friday,

until we get back to sensational Saturday followed by sunsational Sunday

then next monday will just be a monday, but a magical Monday followed by a terrific Tuesday, a wonderful Wednesday, a termendous Thursday, to fun freaky Friday,

we can do this

Another Awakening


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The only real way to know you are moving forward on your path is the constant awakening that comes to shake things up. We become complacent in our ways, and fear keeps us stuck in repeating behaviors and cycles. Then the blessed breath of God blows through our lives moving us when we feel we can’t be moved.

It sometimes feels “bad” but it’s a blessing none the less.

There is an awakening waiting for you when you open the eyes of your heart and see your truth. It happens to me over and over again, it just happened.

When things change; in our level of understanding, when we can accept that our thinking may have been wrong, or truth may have been veiled from us, is when the greater consciousness shakes us up.

Our creator is interested in our growth not our stagnation.

To repair the relationship between Creator and ourselves is to be open enough to accept the truth that has been badly misconstrued as taught by some of our spiritual teachers and leaders. We are not bad we are misinformed. The seeming break in our relationship with Creator is false. We are not sinners to God we are sinners to our selves and each other. God never turned from us we turned away from God or consciousness or love, try hard not to get so caught up in language you miss the forest for the trees..

Now another way to say this for those who are intolerant of “spiritual language” is to say our relationship with our world presupposes that the world has no consciousness at all. We are just here and it doesn’t matter. Its our planet, it has no feeling, we can rape it of whatever we want. To many our planet has no caring for us and the universe is a cold place where stars and planets hurl through space, with maybe a rhyme and reason, depends on who you talk to. We have been lead astray and we know it. Tell me I’m not connected with my child and I will speak to you about my truth which is also yours.

The awakening is the awareness of the greater truth. It is a truth that has existed before us and will be here after us. Truth is truth. The awakening is to remind you of your connection to Creator so that no one can claim you are less than anyone or any group.

It’s the ultimate understanding that we were made or created in the image of…

Powerful words of truth that release everyone and allows us our rightful place. They are the truths of our faith.

Lift your head


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I see a lot of drop necks now, people staring at their device rather than heads up, eyes forward. Most young people will tell you looking down at their device rarely causes them to run into things, of course statistical odds haven’t caught up with most of them, yet. They don’t quite get what the big deal is anyway. They just don’t know what an evolutionary coup it was to get that frontal lobe. The ability to think and have complex thought, awesome and then boom, we forget the importance of the neck. The neck is where the nerves carrying the brains impulse signals move. Time spent bending the neck makes the communication bridge between the brain and the body divided and unable to move information.

What once was an ease of communication from your brain to the rest of your nervous system has become the playground for disregard. Go ahead bend your neck all day long it won’t matter! Yah it matters, it can cause your body skeletal issues from chronic neck pain to a possible hump on the back. Constantly change the position of a fixed flexible bone all the way through the brittle years of middle age and your posture will change, you will get shorter and your spine one day will be stooped. On top of what can happen physically the constant bent neck most certainly impedes signals produced in your brain to get where they need to go to keep your mental self in check.

Remember what happens when you put a rubber band around a finger, we use to do that as kids, cuts off circulation take off the band circulation restored. The same action is going on in the neck on a different scale, the constant bending the neck restricts nervous impulse from moving freely, this is minimal during regular neck use but think about it, your kid spends an hour on their phone, looking down, they walk the streets looking down, they sit on the bus, in the car, everywhere looking down. How is it that what took eons of evolutionary time, learning to look up and stand upright, allowing the light to stimulate the frontal lobe and the masters glands of the body, to allowing us to lose it by continually looking down? Are we really getting smarter with all this looking down or is it stealing our chance for experience and growth?

Are we slaves to our devices and are the masters pleased with their control?

Even if one argued that using intuition to see both up and out while looking down does make someone ahead of the game, it still leaves the disrupted signal dominant, you are not playing with a full deck. Once a nerve is pinched, or the original pathways moved, you are not the same and something has to compensate.

I think it might be time to think about why we are giving up the evolutionary advantage to looking up. Keep the neck free of kinks so that all information moving through the spine can be utilized. The communication highway through the neck is developed and moves through the physical but it also includes spiritual impulses as well. But what would be the point of having advanced spiritual thought if the vessel you are in is trapped in animalistic behavior because you chose to look down blocking off the frontal lobes ability to sense light and communicate with a higher vibration resonating in the universe. Your freewill determines what you voluntarily do, so look up more often than down, realize the evolutionary advantage to being the smartest in the room, don’t let those that benefit from our ignorance win.

 

I’m fine


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Don’t you get like that, just wishing people could see there is no real way you could be fine yet you are, fine, that is…just fine. After they ask you know they don’t really want to know if you are fine because they need you to be fine. So you are, just fine. But inside you are far from fine.

Then there are the others who when you look at them you can see the pressure and force they are using to keep up appearances, really you recognize the look of horror just behind their eyes…

“are you ok?”,

“no,umm yes, I’m fine.”

How is it we keep saying we are fine?

I see not fine when walking around and through groups of people. I see that look of things are not ok. It’s a stare of vacant eyes, a disconnect from reality because as you say are you ok, they come bouncing back into their bodies, yes, “I’m fine.”

No, you are not! It’s written on your face, this truth they themselves cannot see, they are not ok.

Our outsides need to match our insides, without that we become out of sync with ourselves.

Sometimes the one doing the asking, are you ok, was sent to help you. A Being put right in your path to assist you, sometimes with an encouraging word, sometimes with a, I know someone you can meet. But you turn them away with your unconscious I’m fine. We need to answer with consciousness when someone asks us, “Are you ok?”

It’s not that heroic to tell someone you are ok if there are tears in your eyes and you obviously need help. It’s not heroic to keep stuff so trapped inside of you it seeps out in not so awesome ways, if someone offers help, take it!!!!!!!

“I’m fine” said over and over when the opposite is true can be just a weakness of ego and a symptom of being a victim.

“I’m fine” said with determination works as a great spiritual tool especially when you realize you have lost your voice and strength, then you can work your self-power by seeing and believing, “I’m fine”, Right… fake it until you make it… new habits of positive self-talk indeed lift vibration bringing you in alignment with more positive things happening in your life. But you have to say it and mean it. Use it as a tool of self-growth and self-encouragement.

The minute your voice changes it into, I”M FINE or say it in a whine, is the minute the energy changes and it becomes ineffective and wrong. Try to be more real with your self and speak your truth. You will feel the strength of your true voice return.

Know that truly being fine is the goal. So be fine when you are fine, and be fine when you can be fine, fake being fine only when you know you are just experiencing a bump in the road, but don’t fake fine when you are far from being fine, that is not fine at all!

resetting the clock


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We humans are experiencing burn-out. Its hot, the world is on fire and it’s making everything difficult. Tempers are flaring with the temperature and without tending to ourselves we will get hot under the collar spewing the excess heat accumulated in our souls on everyone we meet. Like the trash can, we too need to be emptied and frankly it needs to be done everyday. It stinks when we don’t empty the kitchen trash it’s no different in the human vessel. Leave the trash of negativity inside the body and boy, the smell.

If we haven’t yet discovered the true reason to meditate, then we ourselves are not emptying the trash and are accumulating ideas and experiences that are sitting on top of each other. Sometimes this mishmash of thoughts and ideas just don’t gel and you have a stinky mess inside of you holding you down or back. We need to reset our clocks, clean out the trash, start with a fresh view of our life and what’s happening. Some many of us are stuck.

Stuck is not realistic, nor a place to stay. But we see it all of the time. I can’t leave my husband, my job needs me, my mom, my dad, my kids my dog, you name it and it’s the reason we must stay stuck, you know, for them. Being stuck is a famous trick of that being who hopes you will sit down in your misery and pick up your pointer finger looking for someone to blame.

So easy to blame someone, anyone, the times, the sky, my lunch, sorry baby its all designed as the lesson that will push you over the edge of blaming everything and back towards reason. We get stuck in old stuff and we fall as we refuse to get what we are here to learn. The rejection of our life lessons leads to the fall, off our rocker, out of reason, towards being a victim.

With a firm meditation practice and true spiritual belief, when you are falling, the hope is that you will reach for your tools, remember what you know, and at the very least, scream out for God. We must reset our own clock, fix our own issues, deal with ourselves, it is after all our life. In that moment of realizing just how much work it is to be you that needing to control everything and everyone around you will stop and you will get down to work.

The sunrise for me is the sign of see, its brand new day. It resets my clock. How do I hold on to my crap when the sun comes to burn the remnants of yesterday away, sweeping my mind of clutter making room for the potential of this new day. How does the sun get to work for us if we keep dragging yesterday into today?

Take responsibility for accepting the fact that yesterday is gone, this new sunrise is this fresh new day. Use the sunrise and turn your face towards it, let it pour its light into you. It’s no joke just how powerful keeping the image and feeling of the sun inside of you is. Its mighty that sun, and over time you will feel its mightiness. Remember, that which you constantly have on your mind will filter through your thoughts and move down into your reality. My life sucks, and so it does. Keep saying the sun shines in me and on me and it will.

The sun shines on us everyday, cloudy or not. Spend a few minutes with the early sun and use it to help let go of yesterday. Then be the presence of the sun for those around you, shine so great that they will not want to rehash their past with you. You will be the presence that makes them want to shine, telling good stories, uplifting stories.

Daily mediation will take whininess out of your life. The sun is not into whininess it shines to bright for that. If you want a life that is uplifting for yourself and others then pull that sun right down into your chest and imagine it sitting inside you shining on everyone. The moon comes and goes, it helps us maintain balance but to much and you can’t get yourself up and you may finds yourself down. The sun is uplifting all the way through the day. It’s setting energy  is also a powerful thing, think on it. It takes a long time for the sun light to be extinguished and the sky to get completely dark, it stays with us just being the boss of the dark.

Because truthfully the sun doesn’t set, we the Earth turn away from it. That sun is shining every minute of everyday for more years than any of us can imagine. The sun doesn’t darken or leave, we turn away from it. So reset your clock by facing the sunrise in the morning giving thanks for the life giving sun. Clean out your trash by meditating. Let the hot rays of the sun burn yesterday right out of you so today can be a new day, a great day, or at the very least a day you have your eyes wide open through it.

God bless the sun, and God bless you!

constantly tested


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We as humans walking on this planet are being constantly tested. Every minute, while we walk, drive, breath, think, be, work, we are being constantly tested. Every minute the decisions we make influence the following minutes, so the constant testing can cause results to happen right away, or later when you least expect it. Every action you take is causing a reaction of some kind, every time you are reacting to something, you are causing another action somewhere, that is causing a reaction somewhere else, endless and endless testing, and it all looks like life.

The reason to have some kind of spiritual practice is to keep physical life from looking like the end all be all of what’s up. If you sink into the lie of reality then you will never succeed at life the way you could have. Life is a game and the more you know the rules you can turn the game in your favor but as in all games there will be surprises, cheating, heroes, villains and happy endings and tragedies beyond your wildest imaging. That’s just gives you a taste of the power and potential of life.

When we let fear block us, and consume us, then we become the robots on the planet whose life is in service to the ones playing the game. Is that what you want? Do you want to be of service to the game of life by being a bit character to someone else’s drama? And you can, and most do, all movies need bit players, support actors, producers and directors just like life, but fantasy style. In a movie you can make anything real. Hmmm, isn’t that the same in life?

Allowing yourself to open to life and its constant testing allows you to open and grow to be able to handle large flows of energy which opens you for greater life experiences on the physical level. But be clear, be careful of what you ask for, as an increase of life is an increase in the attention of the dark as balance is an ever seeking force. To conquer the dark is to be fiercely unafraid of life, then like the bible passage says, with God for us, who can stand against us? Allow the sorrows of life to run over your back staying neutral eyes wide open to truth, you will still get heart-broken but through the wisdom of truth, the tears are quick as understanding brings peace.

When we feel like God has its mighty eye on us and its one thing after another, test after test, “…enough already!”, you scream into the heavens, know that it’s a testing ground to see just how much can you take and how strong is your faith. Our power is developed through the tragedies of our life, heroes are not born there are made, anyone can be a hero. Just as anyone can have a successful life, and a bountiful life. The price of such a life is the foundation that was built on hard work and long nights, many tears, lots of fears, but you kept on keeping on.

It’s a choice how we act, this is how we enact our free will. It is equally how we show our growth and our willingness to be a player not a thing to be played with. Make the tough choices, stay with your decisions, remaking them through dedication and wisdom. The better able we are to make the tough choices, to do the right thing when the other is so much easier. To stay sober, when you don’t want, to not eat when you do want, to cry when you need to, and not scream because you want to, so much testing.

Never under-estimate the power of the experiences you are surrounded in right now. Look hard at them and choose to tackle the tough choices, make the right choice, for you, not anyone else, there is no passing of a test when no choice was made. We must pass the test, through victory not avoidance. Take your testing like an adult and allow personal growth to be your true aim, not your ego’s wish for ease and fame.

Ok, now go, and face your fears, get back to work, and let’s get on with bringing the light first place in our lives. Having a spiritual practice allows you somewhere to go when it gets tough and unseen helping hand when you need one, reach for it…

Life


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One of the biggest misconception in life is the idea that your life is your own and that you are actually in charge. We are very egotistical people and often can’t see what is passing before our eyes. We see what we want to see and feel how we want to feel and pretty much do what we want to do. And if things aren’t going well, we love to complain about our lives.

We will push our systems to the limit by eating a crappy diet, not drink enough water or simply not get enough rest but when we get sick or feel like crap over our broken down body we start looking for someone to blame. You pushed your body and now your body is pushing you. Off to the drug store! But they don’t sell fix my mood, or lift this depression pills over the counter, you need a doctor for those.

The same things that will make you sick physically will also make you sick mentally and while we will try to manage physical symptoms we never think about dealing with the mental mess. My Dad had chronic stomach pain, and digestive issues, nearly every year I lived with him, he also had a terrible anger management problem. He was angry all the time. He thought it was because the entire world was made up of idiots that had to be yelled at to do a good job. It never occurred to him, his mother or his wife, that his chronic stomach issues, that he constantly complained about, were related to his constant and steady anger.

Or think about the many stories there are of women caught in the madness of “the change” as it use to be called. Think of hormonal imbalances in women who have no idea what a hormonal imbalance is, most think she is crazy because one minute she is up and the next she is down. Really how many people have been heavily medicated over issues that were related to something else. Our bodies are like machines that have certain maintenance requirements for steady service. And a breakdown in one system can be related to a problem in a different system.

When we do not take car care of the car the car will break down on us, if we don’t take care of the body it will not take care of us. Right now, can you take in a deep breath without coughing? Can you bend and reach your toes? Can you stand on one foot easily? Are you in charge of your mind, or do obsessive thoughts plague you? Do you have pain? Everything that you think you are “dealing” with is something that will simply grow into a bigger problem if the underlying issue is not being tended to. The body is hardcore like that. It will give you what you ask for until the day it can’t and on that day you won’t just be changing the battery!

These bodies were given to us. You woke up one day and looked in the mirror and there you were, but you came from somewhere and when you leave you will be going somewhere, obviously something is in charge of this game called life. We are players on the planet just as the animals. We are under a constant threat of natural disasters, and radical environmental changes, just like the animals. But as humans we were given the thinking brain that was to go above and beyond the instinct brain to the active participation of life brain, rolling with the changes rather than rolled over by them. Figuring out what works and what doesn’t.

Why are we constantly recreating the wheel? Or better yet when did people start thinking they could get away with stuff?

Our body is the vessel we are playing the game of life in and we are in charge of taking care of it. As players of the game we learn the rules and try to stay alive but as in any game there is an entire underworld at play trying to throw us off our game and take over our lives. When we are not consciously in charge of ourselves there is another power(your subconscious animal self) that will take over and do your job. To win at life is to stay as conscious as you can, as much as you can, through the entire day, week, month, year, consciousness is the goal.

From a place of consciousness comes the connection to that that is more than the small nature of the minds of men.It is the creative current that sustains life. As humans it is time to redefine what it is to live a successful life.

Everyday is another change to start again.

Dealing with days after death


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Time is the only thing that moves the sting of death. The further one is from the date of the tragedy the further the remembrance of the impact the tragedy produced. We as humans are asked to go through many challenging events, death is but one of them.

We are often tested by virtue of circumstances like war separating the men from the boys and girls from the women. Other times its something that happen’s hitting us close to home. A death or great tragedy in a family brings out the survivor, the victim, the teacher, and the follower. It will bring out the worst in us or the best in us but most of us need the tragedy to turn on the hero or see the tyrant within us. Tragedies are meant to stir this teaching that we are greater than the small-mindedness of our beliefs and we have the chance to grow and change everyday and sometimes we will be pushed.

The days after a great loss or death are filled with the sorrow of those around us. We come together to share memories and stories and sometimes a shoulder to help bear hearing the story again under hushed whispers. These are important days and must be shared with reverence but the real work of loss is found in the days when others can return to a “normal” life and you cannot. They go back to a before and you are now stuck in the after.

The empty days after the tragedy are fraught with too much time for thinking and rethinking, finger-pointing and guilty flag waving. And some must be expected as our human emotions left unleashed do unleash the torrent of sadness and anger left behind but not played out. Why did you do that to us?, we are left to ask, no one…

Faith is tested and we need to help stand next to the wobbly, next to those God is testing the most. Do not so easily walk away from someone who has experienced a tragedy. They may be strong in your eyes but behind closed doors we are all human. We are meant to learn all the hard lessons God thrusts onto us whether we want to or not. It is through community a person can gather the strength of remembering what is forgotten in the darkness of disbelief and despair. Being a spiritual warrior is to be present when someone needs you, not when its convenient for you.

Be true to your sister or brother who has experienced a tragedy and be like a mighty oak unwavering in your support. Though we will never know the mind of a God who allows us to be penetrated by the greatest of tragedies we can have solace in knowing there is no love without sacrifice.

If our hearts are involved in the pain of the teaching, or the lesson we are surrounded in then you can guarantee God’s hand in it. There is no sacrifice without love, if it is happening to you it does prove God’s love. We, in our finite understanding of love will sacrifice for our loved ones so how much greater is the sacrifice made by the creator of the universe for us. The more you hold to the teaching that you cannot know God at all if you do not see God in all makes every experience part of the all of God. Everything comes from the all. Everything seeks to return to the all.

Some just chose to leave way to soon…

 

More tragedy, more faith


I have not written in a while because my heart is broken from events that occurred within one months time. The last time I wrote it was about the death of my father. He had struggled with some physical issues and was tired of living in a body that he couldn’t get to work with him anymore. He didn’t want a less than life, so he chose death.

It was hard when he told me he wanted to die we had just reconnected after 3 years and I had hoped he would see the worth of living to be of help to his grandchildren and great grand children. He didn’t, he didn’t want to fight for his life, he was done fighting. That was a hard moment. I walked him through death like I did my mother and certainly thought that would be enough sustaining heartbreak for a while.

and then…

My eldest son embroiled in a terrible situation was sentenced to jail over an incident with his wife and the tragedy of their story is falling out around the shoulders of my grandson who I haven’t seen in months and whose mother will make sure that I don’t, because she is mad at my son. Their tragedy bleeds into my life but my heart bleeds for my son and for the grandson who has become a victim to the selfishness of parents. That was less than a month after Dad died.

But almost to the month of Dads death was the greater tragedy and that was the sudden death of my infant grandson Oliver.

My daughter calls me distraught and I think my son has done something awful or he is dead, it was neither, it was her son, her baby, it was my grandson, my baby grandson, he had died in his sleep. Falling to your knees becomes the only response.

What is it to keep your head up when all it wants to do is fall? My heart is broken and my family nearly destroyed. And God has now got a target on his back in the eye of my daughter. Where is your God? They ask me, how can I have faith in this moments, why would God do that to us, to her? It goes beyond the pale and there is no answer at all. There is no understanding the mind of God.

As a matter of fact we don’t even get asked, we are just to deal with it. The gnashing of teeth, the screaming until your hoarse does nothing but prolong the pain. There is no rhyme nor reason,  we are not allowed to know why these things happen or we would. We are forced to stand with the weight of the tragedy on our shoulders being the strength everyone needs to see.

My daughter couldn’t lay down and die after her baby did because her daughter is still alive. I couldn’t get distraught because it was my daughters loss, she needed my strength. We can’t get lost in the darkness of despair though the door to depression and sorrow is standing opening begging us to go through it. What does not kill us actually does make us stronger.

What moves us forward is the next day, it’s not that you want to move on you have to. It’s not that faith sustains us it’s that unwavering faith in a higher power in charge is the only thought that makes sense. The order in the universe serves as a reminder that there is indeed a higher force, higher than the mind of any human, that is making the world go around.

The force is not personally trying to hurt us, things happen. Sometimes we are instigating these things to happen and sometimes people are thrusting their stuff on us and it makes things happen, (that we do not want!), it is our ego that believes we are in control, and we are not. The best we can do is to stay in the lane marked God’s will, God’s world.

I am a peon on this planet and a person who lives my spirituality in a real world way, it’s not fairy dust world, dealing with God gets ugly and my world just got ugly. But I won’t throw God out with the bath water. I will see God in every moment in every act, I will work to see the unseen, I will remind myself there is no comprehending the mind of God and we are all small peons on this planet, all at the mercy of forces beyond our control.

Best to stand under the shadow of the most powerful force there is, call it what you want, but when God starts cracking my skull open I get down on my knees and pray. If God wants to tear my life open and watch me bleed again… then bleed I will. Eventually God will release me and peace will be restored. You can count on that!