walk in grace


Unknown.png

I do a lot of walking so I see a lot of things. I see the looks on peoples faces, I hear their conversations. I see which way they have their gaze. It feels like walking through everyone’s living room sometimes, I see too much. I have seen peoples private parts, yes I am talking walking on the street. I have seen bad looks in mean people’s eyes. I have seen lust filled eyes ogling boys, ogling girls. Wrapped in the arms of depression I am looking to see something and I am seeing something else. We are all lost, looking for something.

Sometimes we are looking for relief. Sometimes we are looking for the door. Either way to win in the perceived war of this time is to walk in grace. To walk in fear just makes matters worse.

Either we trust in the process we proclaim our faith in or we should shut our mouths and ride the waves of our fate given lives. To pretend in this day and age that we are victims of anything beyond our own limited minds is to state your immaturity. You are responsible for your life and your reactions to it, plain and simple.

The next step is remembering the higher power or vibration in charge of it all. We are all moving, what you see is not all you can get. When we choose to walk in grace then we walk with an invisible mantle that says, “Its all good, God’s got this.” Unfortunately we wear a mantle that proclaims our victimhood, “I don’t have this, my life is out of control” We think we can think ourselves out of our troubles, when all we need to do is continue to live our best lives and watch how our steps are led, whether in times of joy or strife.

Walking in grace is walking with the confidence in a higher power that not only has your back but allows you to fall flat on your face so you become bigger and better than you ever dreamed of. In whatever way you believe walk in that spirit, so others see how your path works for you.

Proclaim your faith by living your faith, do it by walking in grace!

resetting the clock


IMG_0168

We humans are experiencing burn-out. Its hot, the world is on fire and it’s making everything difficult. Tempers are flaring with the temperature and without tending to ourselves we will get hot under the collar spewing the excess heat accumulated in our souls on everyone we meet. Like the trash can, we too need to be emptied and frankly it needs to be done everyday. It stinks when we don’t empty the kitchen trash it’s no different in the human vessel. Leave the trash of negativity inside the body and boy, the smell.

If we haven’t yet discovered the true reason to meditate, then we ourselves are not emptying the trash and are accumulating ideas and experiences that are sitting on top of each other. Sometimes this mishmash of thoughts and ideas just don’t gel and you have a stinky mess inside of you holding you down or back. We need to reset our clocks, clean out the trash, start with a fresh view of our life and what’s happening. Some many of us are stuck.

Stuck is not realistic, nor a place to stay. But we see it all of the time. I can’t leave my husband, my job needs me, my mom, my dad, my kids my dog, you name it and it’s the reason we must stay stuck, you know, for them. Being stuck is a famous trick of that being who hopes you will sit down in your misery and pick up your pointer finger looking for someone to blame.

So easy to blame someone, anyone, the times, the sky, my lunch, sorry baby its all designed as the lesson that will push you over the edge of blaming everything and back towards reason. We get stuck in old stuff and we fall as we refuse to get what we are here to learn. The rejection of our life lessons leads to the fall, off our rocker, out of reason, towards being a victim.

With a firm meditation practice and true spiritual belief, when you are falling, the hope is that you will reach for your tools, remember what you know, and at the very least, scream out for God. We must reset our own clock, fix our own issues, deal with ourselves, it is after all our life. In that moment of realizing just how much work it is to be you that needing to control everything and everyone around you will stop and you will get down to work.

The sunrise for me is the sign of see, its brand new day. It resets my clock. How do I hold on to my crap when the sun comes to burn the remnants of yesterday away, sweeping my mind of clutter making room for the potential of this new day. How does the sun get to work for us if we keep dragging yesterday into today?

Take responsibility for accepting the fact that yesterday is gone, this new sunrise is this fresh new day. Use the sunrise and turn your face towards it, let it pour its light into you. It’s no joke just how powerful keeping the image and feeling of the sun inside of you is. Its mighty that sun, and over time you will feel its mightiness. Remember, that which you constantly have on your mind will filter through your thoughts and move down into your reality. My life sucks, and so it does. Keep saying the sun shines in me and on me and it will.

The sun shines on us everyday, cloudy or not. Spend a few minutes with the early sun and use it to help let go of yesterday. Then be the presence of the sun for those around you, shine so great that they will not want to rehash their past with you. You will be the presence that makes them want to shine, telling good stories, uplifting stories.

Daily mediation will take whininess out of your life. The sun is not into whininess it shines to bright for that. If you want a life that is uplifting for yourself and others then pull that sun right down into your chest and imagine it sitting inside you shining on everyone. The moon comes and goes, it helps us maintain balance but to much and you can’t get yourself up and you may finds yourself down. The sun is uplifting all the way through the day. It’s setting energy  is also a powerful thing, think on it. It takes a long time for the sun light to be extinguished and the sky to get completely dark, it stays with us just being the boss of the dark.

Because truthfully the sun doesn’t set, we the Earth turn away from it. That sun is shining every minute of everyday for more years than any of us can imagine. The sun doesn’t darken or leave, we turn away from it. So reset your clock by facing the sunrise in the morning giving thanks for the life giving sun. Clean out your trash by meditating. Let the hot rays of the sun burn yesterday right out of you so today can be a new day, a great day, or at the very least a day you have your eyes wide open through it.

God bless the sun, and God bless you!

More tragedy, more faith


I have not written in a while because my heart is broken from events that occurred within one months time. The last time I wrote it was about the death of my father. He had struggled with some physical issues and was tired of living in a body that he couldn’t get to work with him anymore. He didn’t want a less than life, so he chose death.

It was hard when he told me he wanted to die we had just reconnected after 3 years and I had hoped he would see the worth of living to be of help to his grandchildren and great grand children. He didn’t, he didn’t want to fight for his life, he was done fighting. That was a hard moment. I walked him through death like I did my mother and certainly thought that would be enough sustaining heartbreak for a while.

and then…

My eldest son embroiled in a terrible situation was sentenced to jail over an incident with his wife and the tragedy of their story is falling out around the shoulders of my grandson who I haven’t seen in months and whose mother will make sure that I don’t, because she is mad at my son. Their tragedy bleeds into my life but my heart bleeds for my son and for the grandson who has become a victim to the selfishness of parents. That was less than a month after Dad died.

But almost to the month of Dads death was the greater tragedy and that was the sudden death of my infant grandson Oliver.

My daughter calls me distraught and I think my son has done something awful or he is dead, it was neither, it was her son, her baby, it was my grandson, my baby grandson, he had died in his sleep. Falling to your knees becomes the only response.

What is it to keep your head up when all it wants to do is fall? My heart is broken and my family nearly destroyed. And God has now got a target on his back in the eye of my daughter. Where is your God? They ask me, how can I have faith in this moments, why would God do that to us, to her? It goes beyond the pale and there is no answer at all. There is no understanding the mind of God.

As a matter of fact we don’t even get asked, we are just to deal with it. The gnashing of teeth, the screaming until your hoarse does nothing but prolong the pain. There is no rhyme nor reason,  we are not allowed to know why these things happen or we would. We are forced to stand with the weight of the tragedy on our shoulders being the strength everyone needs to see.

My daughter couldn’t lay down and die after her baby did because her daughter is still alive. I couldn’t get distraught because it was my daughters loss, she needed my strength. We can’t get lost in the darkness of despair though the door to depression and sorrow is standing opening begging us to go through it. What does not kill us actually does make us stronger.

What moves us forward is the next day, it’s not that you want to move on you have to. It’s not that faith sustains us it’s that unwavering faith in a higher power in charge is the only thought that makes sense. The order in the universe serves as a reminder that there is indeed a higher force, higher than the mind of any human, that is making the world go around.

The force is not personally trying to hurt us, things happen. Sometimes we are instigating these things to happen and sometimes people are thrusting their stuff on us and it makes things happen, (that we do not want!), it is our ego that believes we are in control, and we are not. The best we can do is to stay in the lane marked God’s will, God’s world.

I am a peon on this planet and a person who lives my spirituality in a real world way, it’s not fairy dust world, dealing with God gets ugly and my world just got ugly. But I won’t throw God out with the bath water. I will see God in every moment in every act, I will work to see the unseen, I will remind myself there is no comprehending the mind of God and we are all small peons on this planet, all at the mercy of forces beyond our control.

Best to stand under the shadow of the most powerful force there is, call it what you want, but when God starts cracking my skull open I get down on my knees and pray. If God wants to tear my life open and watch me bleed again… then bleed I will. Eventually God will release me and peace will be restored. You can count on that!

manifesting evidence


Unknown-1

Showing my students how each of us manifests evidence is one of the best teaching tools I know. It is hard to dispute what is right in front of you especially if it’s right under your nose. When we look with heart-felt eyes we can see the hand of God at work in our lives, even at the times when we thought God had given up on us. And when we are honest we know there were miraculous events that helped lead us to where we are today. There has been a steady stream of evidence of how we have manifested the present state of our circumstances. We can see the manifested evidence of our path represented through the state of our finances, our health and our ability to maintain healthy relationships. It is our karma as to whether the outcomes due to the state of our path is positive or negative.

When we walk our path with opened eyes we can see our lives as a serious of events meant to awaken us so that we can live life with consciousness. When we live life as a victim feeling punished by God or any force you have stepped away from the truth and its is a dark path of misery you are walking. Get back on the path of gratitude to the source of the gift of life and the light returns. You will again experience prosperity and health, in what ever manner it comes to you.

 As students of the Divine Spiritual Wisdom, we follow the laws of the Universe to walk with the flow of life not while pushing against the tide. We walk a spiritual path that gives us the tools to traverse life and the wisdom to know it is our birthright and responsibility to live from the middle path, walking the path of neutrality, staying in the present moment. Manifesting evidence in your own life by thinking right, being right, speaking right, behaving right and acting right, allows you to become the role model of success within your family and peers. Life lived while maintaining peace, is a successful life, add prosperity and health and you are living the dream!

Understanding that life has its up and downs allows us to control what would otherwise look like an uncontrollable ride on a roller coaster. Understanding the universal laws and frankly keeping your head on straight will go a long way in creating peace in your life. While we may never know why certain events happen in our lives we can control how we react to them. 20/20 hind sight can later show you what looked like devastation was really the ground clearing for the best years of your life. You just never know! Overreaction just causes more karma and more bumps on the road. Teach yourself to go with the flow because frankly the flow is moving, not reacting, and we need to move to go beyond whatever is holding us back from our best self.

Work hard at living your best life being the best version of yourself. Be the manifested evidence that you can show others is the road to success. And then go get your shades because your life is about to get bright!

Pause


images

To me the pause button is the most important function on the remote. I just need the movie or music to stop for a bit. I don’t need to start over. I don’t want to stop because restarting means trying to find where I was when I stopped. All I want is to pause mostly for bathroom breaks sometimes because the phone rang. I just need to pause. If I pause to long the machine will stop but at least I had the option of just pausing. It is also easy to get things going again just hit play.

Life needs a pause button. Sometimes we need to step back for a bit and really look at what’s going on. Too many times people will come to a complete stop and turn their life ship around midstream because fear of the unknown became to great. Retreat! the mind says when really you just needed to pause. A brief review of your intentions can bring the direction of your life ship back on steady course. Panic is never a good course correction idea. Which makes me think of every scary movie when the scary thing occurs and instead of being still or running for cover, they head to the basement to check the noise or run full on right into the chainsaw. Pause for a second people, let’s quit freaking out.

Now a good pause button when used allows the perspective you need to gather your wits and continue. It also will allow you to see what is real and maybe you do need to hit the stop button and restart in a new direction. Cool thing about the pause button you can hit it again and again without interrupting the flow of the narrative. This allows for careful stepping on your life path when you become unsure. Face it we all become unsure at some point. Do I leave him/her or not? Do I take this job or not? Pause take a break feel yourself into the answer, reactions make for poor choices. Pause think and continue!

Problem with some pause buttons is the endless pause. Button pushed, light flashes, endlessly… That is not helpful one must make a decision, take a stand, move forward. That is how life works,and this is how we learn by moving forward. But when fear becomes overwhelming and the apparent endless mistakes of our lives get the best of us many reach for the pause button and sit down when they should have hit the stop and restarted. Depression is a sign of a pause button gone wrong. You have to hit play to keep life going. Life lived on pause is not a life at all.

Many people will ht that button and give up on ever being able to move forward again, why bother… But life even filled with mistakes is better than a life not lived. They (who ever they are) really mean it when they say its all about the life lessons. Nothing makes you more you than having gone through the BS you have gone through and the results of having been down the hard luck road. How do your children get the strength to take on the world if you yourself live in fear with your pause button pressed afraid to go on?

So use your pause button in times of stress. Take the time you need to recharge so you know you are making good decisions. Take time to feel into your heart. Make sure the time you are spending fills your soul and remember you might need to change directions. Again if you hate your job you will take that lovely energy right back to your house for your family to enjoy, please save us all the misery. In the spiritual tradition we say do what you love and love what you do. Nothing else matters, all the details of life get taking care of one way or another. My favorite way to see things in perspective is to understand if you drop dead right now someone will be in your house, others will have your things and someone else will do your job. Life is but a drop in the bucket of time.

Never let the dissatisfaction of your life be the banner you wear. We see you bitter face. Take time to pause and make a better choice for yourself. Then hit play and live your life with passion!

 

 

 

a new year, finally some movement


IMG_0912

This is what it looked like in Duluth when I left. A horror show of unending winter and solitary living and for me the impending depression of being locked in a house alone for months, months, and more months. Its beautiful there is no doubt but past the beauty is the awareness of what this type of winter can do to a person, or me. When you are doing what you are led to do life feels good, you feel a sense of satisfaction because you are where you are supposed to be, regardless of the weather. When there is an undercurrent of dissatisfaction chances are you are not in the right place at all. One of the worst traits of a human is the inability to take charge when something is wrong and bitch about it rather than take action. Inaction is a decision just as not making a decision is a decision.

This is where I am nowIMG_0948well the location, that was the view off my hotel balcony I am in a different room now. Point being when I decided to make a move, for me at first the guilt was overwhelming. How do I feel ok leaving my son, what if he has a breakdown? What about my daughter with a new baby, will she be ok? How do I feel ok doing for me when my kids “need” me? And this is how the lying starts. Its just a trap.

We pretend we are needed so we can stay trapped. We pretend that our own interests and needs can be overrun by anyone and we let them. Another trap. Boo, bad behavior. Why do we act so weak-willed? We are supposed to do what we are called to do, and do it with right attitude. We are to live our lives with some sacrifice but not as a martyr. The ever giving mother is a misconstrued idea, a true mother is a person first and it is a title not a life sentence. On the flip side not wanting to parent after your children have arrived makes you a f*&ker, sorry, it’s a hard job but you called for it the minute you had sex, now deal with it. Same goes for all the humans who spend more time bitching about their state of affairs than doing anything about it. We live in a state of entitlement in this country that upsets me. We believe we are owed big for just being alive and awesome, while others on the planet would like a fresh drink of water and maybe a little food if that isn’t a problem. Being a human is a hard job doing it correctly takes time and effort.

Even the spiritual student who thinks they have all the answers will find themselves swimming in shark infested waters of negativity and feeling left out, under appreciated and basically invisible. So who is it that you are trying to get to notice you? God? Your partner? Everyone on the street? Who are you being spiritual for?

Awe, silly human. Now know I am talking to the choir and that’s me in the first row. I have spent so much time wondering what others thought until the day my family turned their backs on me for what I thought, no need to think on that anymore. I was having a hard time with this issue when my reading told me to look for the presence of God and that that was the answer. I had to think on that.

When we really get how things are here on Earth, we will realize that everything in the created world is made from the same building blocks, those little atoms, and that is the presence of God, in those atoms. Which means the presence of God is everywhere and in everything. So when we are out of sync you can imagine the atoms are swirling but not in a comfortable manner. When we are moving with life following the signs that are everywhere, those atoms are talking to us every minute, life moves smoothly.

I decided to make a move to help myself, to move away from depression. I have decided to love those little atoms because they are God. Science tells us atoms have consciousness and they are affected by how we think, interesting right? So I am going to pay more attention to them. I have been blessed by God and those atoms are with me all the time. The presence of God is there and there and when we meditate we bring the atoms into alignment and we feel the power of God that much more. That’s the walk of a spiritual person, when we walk with the wind it gently pushes us froward, when we walk against the wind it pushes at us hard.

Working with the universal laws that the creator has put in place allows us to live our lives as they were meant to be lived. So that’s me on the beach, sitting in the sun, taking charge of those atoms letting them be near me and leading me where I am suppose to be, or better yet where God wishes for me to be.