Are we wrong?


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It’s in the searching for answers that we become so desperate that we accept what is almost right or we overlook what we know to be wrong in a “it’s going to be ok”, kind of way. We will turn off our internal truth marker just to “make things work”. Such a waste of our time. If that feeling of wrongness is set into your craw and you are ignoring it for whatever reason, sickness is around the corner be it physical, mental, or spiritual. Take my word for it. Especially, if someone is telling you it will all be fine!

I just watched a movie called Holy Hell, it’s a documentary about a cult in California. I’ve become very interested in cults because of my own near miss with several. The questioning mind seeks answers and under duress will see what is presented rather than what our internal truth monitor tells us. Worse are the straight up lies a “spiritual”leader will tell. In this documentary this leader was found to be having sex with the men rather than the women. All the while proclaiming celibacy as a path to enlightenment. Right!!!

This person is a hypnotherapist and exceedingly good at mind control. All of the students were to take sessions with him at a cost “of course” and during these sessions he would begin the grooming process of his next victim. He had a different boy for different days and times and “of course” these relationships were sacred and special. This is the exact same thing I have heard over and over again whether it’s women or men the “teacher” grooms his victims to their special-ness. I mean really who when searching for truth from a “teacher” doesn’t want to be seen as “special”.

Google spiritual teachers/leaders and watch the people sitting around the “teacher”. It’s not normal to have that level of awe for another human, because THEY ARE HUMAN! We are to bow down to no one but the master in our hearts.

This world breaks my heart. Because in the world of spirituality it’s not just a grooming for sex that draws this same outcome of loss of self. Some people are told to leave their families and break all ties with them. In some, it’s give all your money to the cause, work for the cause, all in the name of God or the teacher or whatever is set before them. Young girls given in marriage to the leader, middle aged people worked like slaves until their usefulness is done and so is their money. The horror!

What the HELL is going on…

We are wrong! It’s never right to serve any master but ourselves. Spirituality is to teach we are our own master because the Divine is within us. When a grown person gives up their power to serve a master outside of themselves that’s one thing but when someone else makes that decision for someone else, the karma… special level of hell and so on…

There is no other answer than maintaining self responsibility and here also is where we have tripped up. When we truly believe another human’s truth over our own common sense, even when we have glitter in our eyes by the beauty of the teacher, someone should slap us out of our revelry. In old days it would have been seen as black magic, isn’t it? Oh that’s right we don’t believe in magic, or Satan, or the devil, much less God.

We are wrong if we believe a human has answers for us, because the true teacher/leader takes you to where your answers exist. Some of us need leading and hand holding that’s fine but a teacher or integrity will never say I’m always right, how can they be…THEY ARE HUMAN.

We are here on planet Earth to learn and the only real truth is the one you discover for yourself. We are wrong if we believe anyone knows our truth, only the Divine knows because we were created by the creative force and this same force is not going to force you to believe it, you may and we do learn for ourselves.

Practice promoting your own internal truth monitor, teach your children well and if someone’s “master/teacher” has a hold over a loved one, pray your ass off and keep telling them they are wrong until they reach out to you because you love them and you will have been the only one telling them. Eventually truth wins, truth always wins!

 

 

The in-betweens


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This picture is a perfect representation of my today. I am in-between states, in-between moods, in-between worlds. In other words its the day right after a healing training I just completed. It’s that in-between time of making a huge leap from one state of being to the next state of becoming. Time to take that leap to reach the next level.

I do a lot of spiritual work mostly to be a better mom and grandma and then a citizen of the world. In a world filled with pain and suffering spiritual understanding is the only answer I seek. I believe guidance from within will always lead me to where I need to go, where as guidance from outside takes me where someone else thinks I ought to be. A true spiritual student bears the responsibility of reaching the goal, the teacher can only lead, we have to leap!

Nothing is ever immediate and the letting go of the past conditions of our lives is a tricky thing when dysfunction is the norm in our world. The in-between state is a slippery slope or a rock stuck between two cliffs. What I mean is during the training we got so excited about what we were learning that we saw how putting the practice to work will change our lives for the better. Oh how exciting I just love life, she says walking home from the training with a big smile. Next morning the in-betweens set in.

Life today is the same as the days before the training. Nothing changed in my outer world, still doing dishes, laundry and dealing with life, and it made me feel a little blah. I was on such a high all weekend. Today I am alone in my apartment, what happened? I jumped off my cliff onto the rock, the in-between space, my life has changed but the full on effect will come on like a gentle breeze. The way to move past the in-betweens is to understand that change comes like a subtle wind, we have to trust in the process of change, or we become stuck and maybe find ourselves back on the first cliff afraid to complete the work. We have to have faith, faith in the work, faith in the guiding aspect of God.

My teacher says faith is manifesting evidence. A person with belief only believes because they have been shown. Faith is the eyes that see God and through the work of faith evidence is manifested as that which was done in faith reaps its reward.

So I reach for my spiritual tool belt and put the wisdom to work. I breath in and the most important thing I can remember is that I am not doing any of this for me, or to get anything, I do this work for others who have it worse than I do. I do it to lift the vibration of our world. Because when I elevate myself I elevate everyone. And an elevated world is what I wish to leave for my children and my children’s children.

Enough in-between, I’m jumping to that other cliff!

the power and woes of being a parent


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I agree. I remember when I found out I was pregnant the first time. Still a teenager I had decided to keep my baby and do what I felt was the right thing. Fast forward 34 years and I am still struggling with this boy as he struggles with the disability of his bipolar condition he lets over take him when the darkness gets ever so dark. I may not have been prepared to be a mom, and frankly who is, but what I found out and not through my own family is that having a child is very much an extension of self. What he is I am and I lead him so he may know which way to go and most certainly which way not to go. The eternal hope of the parent. If I don’t do it, who will?

Problem with parenting is that there can be a number of others who begin to contribute to the wellbeing of your child, other parents, teachers, peers, and mentors. SO a strong parent voice is the best defense to others who would speak before they think or those who speak from the head rather than the heart. SO many of our children are hurt in their heart by words spoken to them by a person who was to love them unconditionally. It happens and next shall be apologizes, words not often spoken from a parent to a child, I am sorry! We teach them we as parents are not perfect, just striving to be our best, so they will know the same, we don’t expect perfection just the best they can be. Wisdom people, they need wisdom!

Having children will be hands down the hardest thing I have done and will frankly be the only job I stand before God beaming with pride as I say I did my best God. I made my children’s well-being my guiding light. I will hope to do this for my grandchildren as well. Let’s do this for all of the children. Smile at the children you see so they will know they are seen. Listen to the children so they know they will be heard and love the children well so that love may grow in their hearts making them loving children of God!

Hit the delete button and free your mind!


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I have been thinking about the delete button on my computer. I can hit the delete button and everything disappears, way cool. I think we need a delete button in our heads, yes we do! Some people hold on to antiquated beliefs like a dog to a bone when what they need is a delete button to clear their thinking, reassess and change their mind. It’s not easy to convince someone of a new idea or philosophy when frankly convincing is the exact opposite of what we should be doing. If you have to convince someone of what you believe it becomes to me an act of control. I would never want that.

When I believe your idea is no longer relevant, or biased, racist, or sexist and maybe just plain in my book wrong, I really can only share my beliefs with passion, through my actions and leave you to your own devices. Which of course means hitting the delete button in your head, I hope. All of us have stores of memories, ideas, and prejudices, that just need to be deleted. New information is sometimes thought of for a while but deeply held beliefs can have a long staying power. Hit the delete button already.

It’s an under used button for the mind. Ridding yourself of the noise in your head is a good thing. When the delete button is used, you can have a fresh perspective. You can make your beliefs your own, not your fathers, or mothers, or your church. As leaders in our families, or communities, hitting the delete button every once in a while would put us all in a place of receptivity. The world is an ever-changing place, new ideas come with new information but we have to be open to it and frankly most people have cluttered minds.

I think it makes a good point for a spiritual and meditation practice. A once a day remedy for not getting stuck in a mind rut. What was true for you yesterday might not be true tomorrow. My Mom couldn’t eat onions when we were growing up so everything had to have onions removed from it. My grandma would make 2 dishes one with and one with out and since I was her daughter she figured I would have the same issue. And I felt I did until I was married and he fed me onions in my food and I about became an onion addict. I ate onions on everything in everything and I still do. I had to hit the delete button on her mandatory onion band and make up my own mind.

Think on ways you can use a delete button. Do you get mad at your partner over the same issue over and over again, time to delete that thought and try to negotiate another way to get what you want. Resistance is always a delete button issue. Why stay mad and frustrated over something you know will never change? Why waste your breath? There are more important things in life than clothes hitting the hamper and shoes in the door way.

Practicing with the delete button frees your mind. Truth is we can not control anyone they can give us the appearance of control but it just builds resentment. Try hitting the delete button when your server pisses you off, you know it’s a crap job. Try hitting the delete button when driving who cares if you got cut off. Death by drive by shooting because you finally pissed off the wrong driver is a stupid way to die.

You get what I am saying. Hit the delete button every now and again. Free your mind and the rest will follow!

 

Manipulation


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There is a terrible precedent that is set in childhood because we are easily manipulated by our circumstances and our families. It’s the first learning curve, who do I trust as we watch ourselves manipulate for another cookie, a later curfew, some extra dollars. At the same time we ourselves are being manipulated by those around us, I’ll take you shopping if you do this, I’ll buy a toy if you’ll be good. Manipulation is a skill. It has also been a survivor skill taught to many young girls as a way to navigate the shark infested waters of a man filled zone. It becomes so easy for people to manipulate their way through life they forget it is a skill and not the truth. It becomes second nature but as in all things truth comes to those who are looking out their eyes desiring the right path rather than those who grow up to be players, blatantly manipulating everything and everyone.

When we fall into someones trap of manipulation it hurts and feels bad especially if the one doing the manipulation is so obviously manipulating you like you don’t have a brain in your head, frankly many don’t. Everyone does it. It is a behavior that has to be managed. It is also an act that can bring karma right to your door. We manipulate because we don’t like the truth or we know that what we desire is wrong in some way. The saying the truth will set you free is correct but who wants to turn in money found on the street, tell someone to quit lying to their spouse. We end up manipulating the truth as much as we manipulate to hide the truth. Again, the truth will set you free but it also might make people mad, really mad.

I don’t like being manipulated. I have been told to do things for the greater good that were out-and-out lies meant to get my money. I have been manipulated into someones bed who did not have my best interest at heart though they would proclaim their love. I have been manipulated by teachers claiming to know what was better for me than the truth I desired even when it hurt to know it. Peoples reactions are often manipulating tactics to get you to do what they want. No one wants to upset or disappoint someone they love but the money you give a drug addict for “rent” is either going up their nose or into a pipe, quit kidding yourself. Alcoholics manipulate, drug addicts, children, parents, friends, lovers, its horrifying and definitely a skill that no one wants to talk about because everyone is doing it.

The only truth is found in your heart. A parent will allow a child to manipulate as a oh isn’t that funny, but if you don’t call them on it eventually your car wont be in the garage and money will be missing. If we don’t hold people to tell the truth they wont, why would they when the skill you allowed to develop is used so easily. How will you answer you child when they tell you, you do it why can’t I?

I hate writing these kind of blogs they are the most under read because the truth is, no one wants to hear the truth. We all want the get out of jail card that we are each willing to give each other just so no one says anything. If your friend catches you cheating you expect them to keep their mouth shut, they will manipulate their way to an excuse. Think of the hedge fund managers who manipulated their way in to pocket books across the world. People we love and trust, politicians, pastors, teachers, you name it, are manipulating everything, its horrifying.

The only recourse is to live with your heart open so you will see the truth and not be used by someones version of the truth. The more you manipulate to get your way is the amount of manipulating that will happen to you. Believe me, you will not like the day so and so said this that or the other, just to get what they wanted, it will feel like shit. Speak your truth stay close to your truth and fix what you yourself broke through the manipulation of the truth.

Disappointment is a bitter pill, don’t swallow it


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Awww disappointment! Receiving or experiencing disappointment is a tough thing for us humans. As soon as it happens it can become a cascading event of bad feelings whether the disappointment is coming from something that was done or left undone, it just doesn’t matter it becomes a doorway to negativity. One that must stay shut. Studying spirituality being religious any of the good feeling projects on the Earth move into a fog of forgetting when we experience disappointment. We become at once lost in our emotions of attachment and I am owed, I was used, I will never get what they get. All part of the game of life and learning what is actually important. Being, right? Being, being a being, not an emotional monster that can’t think straight or stay on the righteous path creating negativity and karma that has to be repaid.

Disappointment is part of life unfortunately, but its a great life lesson. When we expect people to be a certain way that is judgement. When we expect God to treat us a certain way, that is expectation, when we expect those around us not to hurt us, that is attachment. The feelings and actions of those around us is their karma and part of their life journey. Most of the time disappointment is about wanting what you want when you want it. News flash, not going to happen. The best we can do is stay in a place of neutrality understanding there is a bigger story going on than what we understand. You know what they say hindsight is 20/20. There is a reason for that. Life teaches that, that which we don’t understand is something to let go of and let God deal with. Like tragedies and horror on the planet, dear God take it away but for so many hard-headed humans terror and horror is the only language that can change them. God’s work is way passed our understanding.

What I do know and have learned is that when we walk in faith of a greater story, then we can be assured of a greater ending than what we see or are capable of seeing. Jesus spoke parable after parable on the unfairness of life from a human perspective. A wealthy man hires workers for his field and the last hired receive the same pay as the first, they scream unfair we worked longer and the landowner says we made an agreement. When we look around us and do comparisons of any kind is to put yourself in a dangerous position of thinking you know. One has to remember no one knows the mind of God. The universe is also always in a state of balance nothing goes unnoticed.

Disappointment is a false thing, a mind trap meant to keep us in the dark of emotional turmoil when the answer is simply be glad for all that good things that happen to those around you. Be glad that you see God at work. Be happy and uplifting, for those without Divine spiritual awareness see little outside of their eyes than that which benefits them. When we accept with grace everything that is happening to us in our lives, taking steps when necessary to correct that which is wrong towards that which is right, disappointment becomes a great teacher. Do not be a judge unless you are yourself without sin. When the master spoke of how hard it was for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven, he was speaking of our inability to be grateful for what we have and who gave it to us because when we are not believe me that which is in charge will know it and balance will be restored.

When disappointment comes, breath in, let it wash over you like a wave and then release it. You know the saying let go and let God! Soon disappointment will leave and your blessings will reappear. Spend a day blessing everyone and watch how it changes your perspective, you know your blessed, that’s air your breathing right? You are alive, that is a blessing!

let’s talk about love


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Let’s talk about love.

Full Definition of LOVE

1
a (1) :  strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties <maternal love for a child> (2) :  attraction based on sexual desire :  affection and tenderness felt by lovers (3) :  affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests <love for his old schoolmates>

b :  an assurance of affection <give her my love>

2
:  warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion <love of the sea>
3
a :  the object of attachment, devotion, or admiration <baseball was his first love>

b (1) :  a beloved person :  darling —often used as a term of endearment (2) British —used as an informal term of address

4
a :  unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another: as (1) :  the fatherly concern of God for humankind (2) :  brotherly concern for others

b :  a person’s adoration of God

5
:  a god or personification of love
6
:  an amorous episode :  love affair
7
:  the sexual embrace :  copulation
8
:  a score of zero (as in tennis)
9
capitalized Christian Science :  god
All of that they say is love, with sexual desire as number 2, funny isn’t it. There is a misconception about love I fear, a full on thought of love as a warm and fuzzy experience. We have people saying they love each other even when they don’t or using the word love as a, I like you right now, kind of thing. We talk about God’s love but if you mention any form of God’s anger they will quickly change the subject. How do they define that as love?
My mother and I had a very difficult relationship and really my mother did not have a good definition for love. Her mother gave her away as a child so how could she see or understand love? For her love hurt. So that was how it was instilled in me and frankly that was my experience of love, completely condition, you were loved if you were worthy of love. I just didn’t get it until my children were born and later when my son traveled a dark road I realized there was nothing that could move my love from him.
Just a few days ago I was in the space of a woman speaking of her difficulty with her son. I spoke as a mother of such a difficult boy, but she quickly cut me off telling me her son was a heroin user and thus couldn’t be her son any longer. My heart broke for her and her son because mine was too. At 18 she sends him away. Where is her love and why was her fear more important? When my boy spun out of control I grabbed him even harder. I know that love is gross and disgusting sometimes, horrifying and scary. Think of the worse person you can think of, gross horrible, God loves that person. God does not see love as a warm and fuzzy thing. For God love is a verb. Big lesson for us all, especially the judgmental.
I once told my daughter-in-law she had to learn the mother voice. It is the way a mother can stop their child on a dime as they are walking into danger. When I was a young mother my voice could penetrate my children, ask my 33-year-old bi-polar son, it stills has the same effect even today. As a mother I instilled the fear of God, ok me, into them it was my way of letting them know my love was strong enough to step in front of a train or go to hell and get them if need be. Same as God’s love for humanity, the disgusting humans who would hurt others are still loved by God.
Let’s redefine love as the unconditional acceptance of that in you which is greater than your small human self. God loves us just as we are and as we realize that love, our hearts open and we are never the same. To love a disgusting human will allow you to see the child in them, that being that has felt unloved and uncared for and under the watchful eye of love will turn around. Every human desires love, true love, unconditional love. But make no mistake I can love you while screaming at you, God can love you while pulling your life apart. No one said love was always sweet but true love is such a balm for the heart even the ignorant know that.
Go on and show love to your people, be the one who loves “that” person though everyone else will send them away. Love with such a heart that can’t be moved. Now that is power, that is love.