Distorted internal images, enter the false self

imagesI wish I was the internal version of myself. The me on the other side of the mirror. You know the me that is so perfect. Her hair is always perfect. Her clothes are always right. Her weight never fluctuates. She never over drinks, or over eats and she never talks to loud for God sakes! She gets up every morning with a smile on her face sipping her cup of herbal tea, no caffeine for her. She does yoga effortlessly and is in touch with her higher self. You should see how awesome she is. She rarely gets angry and is a great help to everyone. She is selfless and generous. My life would be perfect! Right?


I get a glimpse of her sometimes trying to be me and frankly she gets on my nerves with her always right shit. “You really shouldn’t eat that” raining on my parade with her “right” thoughts and “right ” behavior. She never gives me a break. She sits inside of me being this perfected version of myself. She has been haunting me for years. Problem is she has been trying to get me to “see” something.

I have just reread Eckhart Tolle’s book “The Power of Now”. (READ THIS BOOK) A great book stating simply that our unhappiness can be found in our resisting the present moment or our lives at any given time. We will be stuck in thoughts of the future or past, never the now. And now is where all the action is. The one place no one wants to be. Can you imagine that most people that surround you are completely living in the past or future. That is not reality. It is not now.

This internal perfected view of myself is a trick of my ego to keep me upset with the me of right now. I become worried endlessly about my weight, my kids, my life, my lack of a life, my lack of a love life, whatever might be upsetting in my life situation at any given moment. My perfected self judges endlessly, it is not reflective of the real me. It is just a version of me and my life that I sometimes hold onto as “right”. It keeps me constantly upset rather than allowing me to revel in the beauty of the present moment. This “right” self becomes a false self.

We are hiding behind a “right” version of ourselves becoming scared of exposing our true selves. This feels very similar to only showing a part of yourself to your parents so they will be proud of you thinking that if they saw your true self they would never speak to you again. The false self is a mother fu*ker and constantly changes so you are never right and always wrong, see it’s a mother fu*ker! Destroying peace everywhere.

When I daydream of my perfected false self, dancing in harmony with mother nature, not shaving her legs, smiling in her perfected beauty living her perfect life, I can also see me making fun of all of it. I laugh at women projected like that, smiling through their periods, and having orgasms through child-birth. Perfected females. I don’t think of them as being righter in their womanly experience as me, it’s just another version of experience, I guess, it sure as hell wasn’t mine. This female body went through hell bringing 3 kids onto the planet and the battle scars are still visible 30 some years later.

This is my present moment self with all my horrifying life experiences and bad habits standing up to be counted. This is my now. In the present moment of now everything is fine. Anything that is negative can be corrected through right thought and action and this can change your experience of now. But right now is right now and every minute is flowing in the eternal moment now. Being in the now is where life is flowing. When you are not in the moment life is moving around you. Resisting the present moment makes for a miserable life. Clear off your mirror and see. Stop identifying with your false self and just let your self be.

My perfected self better watch herself because this version of me is going to kick her ass, false self out, true self in!

Mother’s day

547683_4451938661801_1233800492_nFunny how life is…  I was a mom at 18. The mother of 3 at 23. My life is nothing like I thought it would be. It is so much more…

Inside of myself has always been an awareness of the importance of my job as a mother. The responsibility that was mine because well, I gave birth to them. I still take this job very seriously and in the end it will be the only job I will have held as being important. I have had the privilege to help mold 3 humans into awesome humans. I loved them unconditionally even when those looking into my backyard thought I was doing something wrong. I gave my kids the freedom to explore and be themselves in whatever manner they chose. I allowed the fear of the unknown to be around them and myself so that they could invent themselves and not fall into someone’s you ‘should’ be this bullshit, they will be themselves!  I held them when they fell and lifted them when they could not see. I have poured my life blood into each one of them. And now they are grown.

dramatic pause, enter the dragon, my grandson…

IMG_1448What makes every mothers day great now is that I am grandma. The next stage is upon me and it is awesome. My daughter is pregnant, my second grandchild is on the way. Hell yah! I want lots of grandkids. There is no doubt that it has been difficult for me as my own mother had a hard time with the kind of personality I have and it kept us at arms distance until her death. Being a mother was hard on her, at least with me, and being a mother has been hard on me. I just knew there was no choice but to do the job of mothering. Her friction with me became my desire for a completely different definition of the word mother for myself. And I redefined it. My hope and prayer is that from wherever she is she knows, she made me who I am and I am a fricking awesome mother and looking forward to turning into an awesome grandma!!!!

God is great!

Breaking dishes

images-1There is no doubt that life is frustrating. In appreciation to this fact I would like to start a national breaking dishes day. A much-needed, pretty straight forward approach to releasing frustration. Why take drugs, or sit endlessly in front of a tv or electronic devise, why drink until your blind or eat until your fat, rather break some dishes and get on with it.

Just think of how awesome it would be to have a designated area where frustrations could be released. Here in the north it would be in the basement.

Kids driving you nuts with cabin fever, puberty, just plain too much noise, head to the basement for a dishes breaking session.

Turn on the news, watch more stupid things happening, fear mongers wagging their tongues, people set on disturbing other people’s lives, before getting upset go straight downstairs to the basement dishes breaking area.

Partner has left the toilet seat up again, underwear on the floor, dishes by the bed, forgot to pick up the kid, milk, bread, straight to the basement dishes breaking session

Bills, IRS bills, child care, credit debt, college funds, lack there of, retirement funds, lack there of, dishes need to be broken.

Dealing with frustration as it comes is a far better and more honest approach in learning to deal with it. I think people have forgotten that life is by nature filled with frustration. It’s just the way it is. Every being is trying to find its way and most of the time they find it while being in everyone else’s way.

Four way stops can be frustrating- no one knows when to go. Express lines can be frustrating-no one knows how to count. Professional appointments can be frustrating- no one is on time, Family will make you pull your hair out-sanity is sometimes optional, being able to just deal with it, priceless..

Break some dishes because:

We cannot make people do what they will not.

We cannot make people say what they will not.

We cannot make people see things they will not.

We cannot make our children into what we want.

We cannot make our family be what we want.

We cannot make life into what it is not.

Break some dishes and feel better, get back to life

and most of all remember if you want what you want when you want it you may not get what you need when you need it. Wanting is the biggest reason to break some dishes, wanting just leads to more wanting, learn to deal with reality, fix what you can by taking responsibility and then when you get frustrated and you will! Break some dishes, release that pent up energy and get back to life.

I am going to go to goodwill to buy some dishes, doing good for society, put some music on and break some dishes, doing even more good for society, lol.



walking the dog

Here in the Northland we have been experiencing a long never-ending winter. Cabin fever has most of us on edge, and frankly with good reason. Yesterday there was a break in the action meaning it stopped snowing for a minute, I think its suppose to snow again tonight. The sun actually came out and gave us for a few hours the blessed hope of spring, it might do it again today. I grabbed the dog & leash and headed outside. First step out the door optimistic Leanne smiling, looking around. Second step a very Virgo OCD  Leanne looking down, “is that water?” Why am I walking the dog?

The mountains of snow we have gotten in April are in various states of melting, there is water everywhere, everywhere! Once you step outside getting wet and muddy are the standard. Haters of dirt beware. Haters of getting wet and muddy beware! OCD Leanne’s beware!

Dogs and kids love this time of year, it’s a free for all of puddles. Jumping in every one of them seems to be a dogs answer to that’s what I’m talking about. My puppy Zeus loves it. Me, the Virgo, with a side note of OCD, a dog jumping on me in various states of muddy and wet is not what I’m talking about!

“Come on dog let’s get this over with” as he jumps on me again, so so so so so so happy.

At first I pretend to be walking the dog for the dogs sake. I am irritated by all the wet but the sun is so bright and before long everywhere I look there are people out and about the heaviness has lifted with the clouds. There are children coming home from school who just have to pet the puppy. Zeus is in heaven. Moving on to the next bunch of kids. Over and over there were children wanting to talk with and touch the dog, all kinds, all ages. It was so sweet to watch their little hands reaching for the dog, their questions, their smiles, Zeus’s smiles.

Crusty cabin fever Leanne may have smiled even as he hit me again with his muddy paws.

He kept jumping all over me ruining my jeans, destroying my coat, excited by every child he saw. There were paw prints up and down my person. Every time he saw another child more jumping, he was having a blast. Everyone wanted to touch him, his happiness and joy was mirrored by the children. In the end he broke through my “are you kidding me by destroying my clothes making me walk in the wet and damp?” and I just started watching him. I was as wet as I could possibly get and muddy to boot, I figured might as well enjoy it. That dog was enjoying every second of the present moment just as the children were. You could see they felt so alive. The sun was making the water puddles sparkle, the birds were everywhere singing, the robins pulling worms, the children were getting as wet as the dog. You had to laugh. It was a scene right out of a Rockwell print.

This moment was found in 2013 in the midst of all the chaos that our world is suffering from. This beautiful normal moment where children and adults were transformed from the worrisome people we have had to be back to our innocence if just ever so briefly. The children and the puppy brought us all out of our revelry and we felt joy. Those children who in a minute can be moved to smiles just by watching a dog walk by are the reason I am finishing this up, leash in hand. Somebody has to walk the dog and the children will be getting out of school soon. Smiles all around!

Digging Deep

Funny how life becomes a teacher when everything you need to know about yourself is revealed in the moment your dog tears up your special something, or your child displays disruptive behavior, or your partner embarrasses the hell out of you. Lose your cool and you will find a lesson ready to be learned right there in front of your red screaming face. We can get mad blaming this or that when things go wrong never thinking to check our reaction to a circumstance that is most likely out of our or anyone’s control. Things often go wrong in our lives presenting as lessons in self-control, perspective and self-reliance.

Don’t like it when things go wrong? Ask yourself; Who do you think you are?  Why shouldn’t bad things happen to you? Are you anymore special than him or her or them? More importantly, What do your reactions tell me about who you are?

Do you get mad when you trip in public? Do you have such control of yourself at work but allow yourself to get completely out of control in social situations? Do you act spiritual at spiritual times and like an SOB when behind closed doors? Do you act supportive to your loved ones with a dark and jealous heart? Do you turn a blind eye and a deaf ear at anything at anytime for any reason? Do you know that you are doing something against your own soul but do it any way? Do you keep your true self locked in a box because “‘it’s just safer that way”? Are you living your life at all? or Are you hiding behind someone’s coattails? Is the reason you are so pissy and mad really someone’s fault?

Face it, we all hate looking in the mirror and we all have shadow stuff that needs to be uncovered.  Equally, we all have to do the work and come on, nobody really wants to but the exit to easy street is a well guarded secret. Plus the reality is life will often reveal our weaknesses and our underwear to everyone every where while we think we’re doing a great job covering our asses. Life is full of life lessons and lots are embarrassing some horrible. Life is hard. And?

Life is hard and you have to learn to dig deep. There is no easy way to approach a difficult life or a difficult time but head on. The victim trains runs for miles and miles but the stops are all the same and get this, there is no destination. That train will take you right back to where you started. In order to turn things around you have to dig deep, do the work and shut up! Most of us sit in our privileged lives unaware of what other humans are having to put up with on a daily basis. There are horrifying stories and atrocities that are unimaginable to us, and we cannot get off the couch and pull it together. People we need to tell ourselves and each other its time to stand up do the work- The victim train has left the station.

I have found perspective to be a great teacher in times of frustration. Someone cuts me off in traffic-there is an emergency in their family. Someone takes my parking space-they are in a hurry and I needed the exercise. The receptionist doesn’t have my reservation-goodie, room upgrade. Driving across the country in a Uhaul pulling a trailer with a full size car and hating every minute of it-better than the person stuck on the side of the road in a Uhaul not pulling its trailer. It can always be worse. It can always get worse. Sometimes it does. And then- usually- at some point- it gets better.

When blinded by the red color of rage, when surrounded by doubt and fear, when plagued by victim-ness, stop drop and roll. Stop your line of thinking, Drop your attention to your breath and Roll your consciousness back towards gratefulness and away from selfishness. Remember it can always be worse, it can always get worse. When you dig deep within your being you will find a river of peace and understanding that will help you get through difficult times. When you dig deep getting upset becomes a thing of the past. When you dig deep you become the person you were meant to be. When we get past the, Why do I always have to be the bigger person?  and just be the bigger person, you will walk towards the understanding of why it is so important. Someone has to be…

Digging deep within the self for answers opens the gateway to true wisdom. It reveals what is happening around you rather than leaving you lost thinking about what is happening to you. This thought changes everything and it leads to self-reliance and peace. Dig deep people!




Spring is coming?

IMG_0199This is a tough time in northern Minnesota for me. There is still quite a bit of snow on the ground and the air can be quite cold. No need for a spring jacket its cold as hell outside. The silver lining, the days are at nearly 12 hours of sunlight meaning, the snow mountains outside my garage grow smaller everyday plus, I can see more and more of my yard. In my mini forest of a side yard the trees think of spring while still standing surrounded by snow. Spring is in the air but we are surrounded by the remnants of winter. That can make these days difficult.

I imagine the energy of these early spring days feeling like the energy buzzing inside of a seed. Filled with vibration the seed begins to wake the possibilities of its new life-like the trees getting ready to prepare for new leaves. But there is work to do before the seed or leaves can actually burst forth, foundation work that needs to be finished in order for the promise of the seed or new leaves can be fulfilled. If the seed or trees moves to fast they risk emerging to soon and losing everything. Timing is essential. So the energy of potential just sits there and builds. Until the time is right.

It’s easy to resist the foundation stage in our own lives. I want to skip past the work that first needs to be done to fulfill the dream I have inside me. I want the results right now. We are unfulfilled in our world because we are unfulfilled inside of ourselves. We have forgotten that our own efforts can change outcomes. We have forgotten about work and made work a bad word. How do we learn to curb unreasonable desire like reward without hard work? How do we ever learn to be satisfied if we have never worked hard enough to earn the reward of our efforts? Everything given to us like coddled children. Does a child take care of a car received with ease as well as the young person who worked 3 jobs all summer in order to have one? Which one stands in awe of their car gently wiping the grimy bumpers?

In northern Minnesota we fight and claw towards spring. After a long winter we are eager to get on with it. I want to repaint the garage. I want to add-on to the garden. I want to sit in the sun. I want to put out the swing. The days get longer the drive for spring grows stronger. The spring energy mixed with winter overtones makes us visualize, think and plan because if we move to fast we risk losing everything, nothing ever getting started nothing ever getting finished. So working and dreaming about what we are going to do helps us to collect the energy to make it so, when the time is right. But all that hoping and wishing leads to lots of build up of potential, and it can lead to lots of wanting…

I want the snow to be melted. I want to see my yard and plan for planting. I want the cats to spend more time outside, please! I want the mud puddles to dry up. I want 10 pounds of winter fat to disappear. I want to sit on my front porch. I want the path to the garage to appear. I want to hang my sheets on the line. I want the cats to go outside, did I say that? I want to chase the dog without wading through snow and melted snow. I want to change out to my spring clothes. I want to put my coat away and never look at it again, until next year. I want to put away that same pair of snow boots I have been wearing for months. I want I want I want I want, now I sound like my grandson…

it’s that time of year and spring IS coming.

Loneliness in a far off land

Loneliness in a far off land

Dealing with hard issues far away from home or your comfort zone can make the grey seem even more grey. I was so glad the sun came out yesterday because it helped me see clearer the issues I am dealing with. I wake up today and the grey is everywhere and my heart was disturbed. Can I keep myself up through the grey? My heart trembles because new-found awareness must be practiced. Like forgiving your lover for something difficult you can say it but, it might take a while before you really mean it.

When I walk through the streets of this far away place I see as much loneliness and bitterness as I saw in New York City, that I see in Los Angeles, nowhere is safe from the emotional battles we all must face from time to time. No amount of sunshine can change the game unless you let the sun into your heart. I hate sentences like that they seem so Facebook oriented. I am so tired of spiritual platitudes but in the end some of them hold truth.

That which you resist persists.  I have been a part of a family for most of my life. Husbands kids, all that jazz and now I am in the process of redefining what my role is yet to be. So as I keep resisting the need for the change in my heart I am stuck being alone. Mostly by choice. After being betrayed one to many times I am finding it hard to be open with humans knowing full well a betrayal could be minutes away. That’s no way to be.

So for right now the loneliness is necessary and frankly being used as a safety device to keep my heart from cracking into pieces again. It needs time for healing and band-aides and pithy statements just aren’t going to cut it. As I walk the streets I see other weary wounded humans trying hard to keep a fake smile on their face or the others who have thrown in the towel and have allowed bitterness to be written in lines for everyone to see. I don’t want that either.

A life lived well is experiences gathered from both sides of the fence. Happiness is a decision and again not a right. Living in happiness is part of the faith process. We may never know why certain things happen but we can be assured that tomorrow is another day. One more day to try again, hope again, and live again.

There is no one on the planet whose job it is to make you ok. Though when you travel you would think otherwise. Partners berating their partners for us all to hear, children screaming about being forced to go shopping or to view art forced to stand in long lines. Why do we push our agendas on to others? But then most of us do not like being alone so we drag others along for the ride, willing or not. Acceptance is a game changer.

Tomorrow is New Years Eve and I will be spending it alone in a far away place but the outcome will be the same. When I wake up it will be next year. Where ever I would have been the same thing will be happening so I take comfort in that. I will not be going to a fancy party or seeing friends or being with family. I will be busy pushing out the last bits of 2012’s ugliness and cleaning out my heart space. Because what a new year does bring in is hope, cue the spiritual platitude, and you know There is alway hope.

Someplace else


Last year at this time I was in Paris, ahhh, Paris. The holidays can be hard and it is not that much fun to celebrate by yourself, right! So in order to combat the usual holiday blahs I turn them into a time of adventure. I take the sting out of solitary holiday time by choosing to be alone and often I go Someplace else. Because In the land of Someplace else no one knows my name and I can make everyone believe I am intentionally alone . In the land of Someplace else I can be anyone I want and there, Someplace else, I am always a star.

In the land of Someplace else They have no idea who I am or that I have not spoken to a single soul in days. They cannot tell if I am important or not. They cannot tell if I am poor or not. They cannot tell if I am foreign or not. For all They know I am a celebrity in hiding. I make sure to wear my sunglasses in and out of my hotel keeping up the game of being somebody while being nobody at all. It’s amazing how much attitude will compensate for what could be loneliness. If it seems like I am desperately trying to spend some time by myself there is a mystery about me. If I am just there alone that may smack of loneliness. Everywhere I walk, everywhere I go, I act as if I own the place

I walk in silence. I sit in silence. I am not looking for idle chit chat. I am completely fine being by myself. Maybe I am just off a movie, maybe I just finished my book and am getting ready to go on tour. I always have my journal and fountain pen, I am not just writing my lonely thoughts, I am expounding deep-seated soul truths. I am writing the next great novel. My face reflects great wisdom. Who bothers someone Someplace else when they can see such wisdom. When I look up at Them I smile and turn down my gaze.

It’s a knowing, because I know what you see, I am Someplace else, somewhere you wish you could be.



I am on this 12 day spiritual retreat and I was going to focus on the foundational laws of right spiritual work, and now there is no point. Right now I am working on holding my hope for humanity.

This spiritual retreat is filled with people who if you ask all have special psychic gifts and are nearly enlightened. Get people in a group especially at a spiritual retreat and everyone becomes suddenly quite spiritual. Because as we all know as long as you wear the clothes of a holy person you will be holy and if you spout wisdom you will be wise. We still do not get it. This is not how you get ‘it’.

The rich believe they can buy it, the poor think it’s not for them, the arrogant think they already have it, and the ignorant do not bother to look for it. What a surprise when they pass and have to see how that looked to all the Divine teachers on the other side. “So you thought you were better than everybody?” “So you thought God was for sale, and that spirituality belongs to those who have, what, money, brains, status,?” “You didn’t really think they meant you?” “So you actually thought your path was the path,hmm” We are lying to ourselves and each other, over and over.

The wisdom teachings belong to all of us and sorry people there is no human greater than another, race, gender, otherwise. There is definitely those further down the path and can I hear a THANK GOD. We are all in this together yes including you Lutherans, Catholics, Hindus, New Agers, nature walkers, and especially you atheists. These labels you hide behind do not matter. Who you are, what you are, none of it matters. What matters is how much of a better person are you at death’s door, how you contributed to the needs of your human siblings, the level of peace and love in your heart.

And then there are the ‘teachers’ of spirituality.

So many teachers do not feel like they are important unless someone is watching them, or wanting what they have, listening to their every word, or or or….. False, mind trap.. There are Teachers saying things that have no business being said in a room filled with souls looking for wisdom. Do it this way, buy this thing,…. enlightenment is on sale this week, buy one get one, really…

Of course the lessons is for me to keep my ass at home and do my own work and maybe sliding into a spiritual retreat that needs air quotes around it is just indicative of why I need to be teaching. Like Dr Phil says, hows that looking for a spiritual teacher stuff working for you.

One example is looking at the many systems of spirituality that are out there. The one I studied with first has been going for over 30 years here in America. But when you look at some of the lead teachers who say they have following this ‘right’ path for 30 years they are no more enlightened or further down the path than my Dad who will tell you there is no F**king path. When you step in front of a teacher who claims to have been on ‘the path’ for over 30 years yet there is no radiance in their face, people how is that possible?

A person on the path shines with an inner light. It is why we all want and need to be around that being. A true spiritual being just is and has no use in you knowing it or having a thought about it. This sentences negates almost every spiritual teacher I have ever met. They need you to know them.

Think of Christ, think of the Dali Lama, think of Mother Theresa, all the enlightened masters, all great souls who have come here to do their souls work. Their radiance beams off of them like a lighthouse for those ready to see, ready to know, ready to BE. They certainly do not need your adoration in order to do their work.

One must be careful when standing in the light of a human being claiming this or that. Spiritual teachers are becoming a dime a dozen so be discerning in whose energy you mess with and whose words you take in. Make sure your belief systems is indeed your own. True spiritual fire comes from a heart that burns with desire to know thyself, and to know that thy Self is contained within the light of God.

The wisdom teachings tell us that the kingdom of God is within us. Chances are spending time with yourself, asking the big questions, devoting yourself to becoming a loving being is probably where most of us could start. Then you will find as you are ready and willing the teacher will be right there. And remember a teacher is anyone who influences you, good or bad.

Do not be fooled by someone claiming to know. Take what they know mull it around and decide for yourself. The reason there are so many paths is because there are so many people. Each human needs a certain kind of teacher, you maybe married to yours, or raising yours or just reading their words.

Don’t be fooled, ask your inner self for guidance. Above all be ready, be smart, be discerning, then be the light. That’s all the hope we need.

15 simple rules of right foundation for Spiritual work, Rule 1

I am on a 12 day spiritual retreat and it is my hope to spread some of the wisdom teachings that I have learned as the foundation for greater spiritual power and awakening to the wisdom within. We were made in the image of the creator of the universe which in and of its self means we are destined for greatness. It is our limited thinking that holds us back. With so much wrong information out there flying around as spiritual truth it hurts me over and over when a system or teacher once again assumes there ‘way’ is the ‘way’ or worse the ‘only way’. Wow I wonder how God feels about all these ‘right’ humans and if there are so many right humans you would think there would be more enlightened masters walking around. Maybe there are but you can be sure they are not the ones walking around talking about it. Enlightenment speaks for itself. On with the rules.

These foundational rules are meant to stir within you the teacher that is already there. Spiritual work is not done with focus on the physical being. The physical being is a transporting device. The who you are resides inside of the body you dwell in, the body is not who you are. People we really need to get this, we are energy beings, the body is physical and limited, we are not.

Rule one; View the world of thought, separate the false out of the true.

We are ruled by the thoughts we manufacture. Every thought about yourself causes a reaction in the physical and mental self. Every thought your were taught affects the who you are and the who you were meant to be. In our own thinking are the traps that hold us in complete obeyance to the physical world. Your body is talking to you almost all of the time about something or other, it’s either cold or hot, hungry or full, needs something or wants something. We are ruled by the physical until the day you learn that the you inside of your physical beings is waiting for you to wake up and take control of the vessel you were assigned.

It is our responsibility to awaken and it begins by realizing all that talking in your head is coming from somewhere and that voice when uncontrolled is your ego leading you by the nose. You are ruled by the thoughts in your head true or not, and how would you know the difference anyway. Though many, many people think they do ‘know’.

Most people know when they are in trouble. You know when you are doing something that is not right for you but over and over again we walk right where we don’t want to go and do what we know we should stop doing. (yeah I know ‘should’) The capacity for change is right there and just a breath away. Knowledge is power.

When you begin to examine your thinking mind it is there you will find your biggest problem. There is no prison built that can keep a human from the vastness of his/her self. Even trapped in a hole a human can move their mind into a completely different reality, the mind is an awesome thing. It is also the mind that will drive you to crazy town with uncontrolled thoughts of a destructive nature and you will believe that voice. This is why meditation is key because through the constant monitoring of thoughts, you, yourself will see the damage an uncontrolled ego can do to a soul trapped in a human form. I am ugly, I am not good enough, no one will ever love me, everyone is better, luckier, so untrue, such a waste of valuable time when the who you are is not any of that but the voice convinces you that there is no other way to look at it. Boo, that voice.

Praise God there is a knowing in the human consciousness that is wise and it is constantly trying to get your attention. Imagine your world when the voice inside  becomes a wise and calm friend rather than the ego driven bully that resides in most of us. Watching your thoughts and how that voice can drag you from one issue to the next, you cannot be still, or relaxed. Wow, that voice is doing a great job of keeping you in the dark!

What meditation does is allow space between thoughts so you can begin to sense the truth. The truth is so simple we humans make it so hard. I do it believe me, I make my life so hard because my voice likes to tell me that a life without suffering is not worth living, My God that voice is a bully. When I find my thoughts doing a number on me I yell at it and tell it to shut up, as silly as it sounds, it is this human allowing for a greater space between lies so I can see the truth. I am not how much I weigh, or the color of my skin, or my belief in a God. The big one, it does not matter what you think of me or what I think of you. God is in each of us when I am mad at you I am mad at myself. When I love you I love myself.

What I am is I am. Yeah read that one again.

The truth is that we are children of the creator of the universe,  spiritual beings clothed in the physical for the experience of this lifetime. But we are at the end of our lives heading back where we came from and there at the gates of heaven you will discuss the loss of time spent in your head dealing with a voice that wasn’t real. You will see yourself doing wrong to your own soul because of misinformation, things you believed without really checking their validity. Remember we use to think the world was flat and the sun revolved around us.

It matters little what we do in this life if our spiritual selves sit in the dark through the entire incarnation. It is the drive back to God that rules the spiritual plane and all the humans have this knowing. Look around everyone is looking for something. That something is your own consciousness trying to explain just how vast your experience can be when you embrace the reality of our world.

To know the ‘truth’ as it is for you can only be done through searching the self. So start watching your thoughts and when you start having the sensation of depression or anxiety or anger or less than, make it stop, separate the truth from the false. You are not that.

We may not all believe that the spirit of God is within us all but through the separation of the truth from the false beliefs you will find that you are straight in line with that thinking. Can you imagine a God that would create such a universe of tremendous beauty and power, seed it with beings that it claims are in its image, and then put that stupid voice in us just to torture us and keep us away. No we did that to ourselves. Work with your thinking mind, educate yourself in spiritual truths, do the searching yourself. A teacher can lead but they can not do the work for you it doesn’t matter the spiritual strength of the master as there are rules in place. Most of our karma is ours to work through. Do yourself a favor and do the work.

View the world of thoughts and separate the false from the true.

Then awesomeness is right around the corner.