What expectations

What expectations

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One of the hardest things to admit is the gigantic amount of energy that is expended holding onto expectations. It’s a difficult day of adulting when you learn that your expectations for life may have been a dream and one found only in your head. Similar to the scene in “Little Miss Sunshine” when big brother in the throes of puberty, sees his dream of being a pilot vanish as he discovers he’s color blind.

Oh what mighty expectations do you hold.

    • ex·pec·ta·tion
      a strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future.
      a belief that someone will or should achieve something.
      one’s prospects of inheritance.

     

And expectations have to do with belief, we believe something is going to happen or we will be saved or rescued, we have a ton of expectations. The worse kind are the expectations we carry in our heart about those we love and care about. We expect certain behavior. We expect that we can trust that person, or what this person is saying. Again expectation is a belief, but it doesn’t make it real, it just shows all of us that you hope it does.

Expectations have become an afterthought of “the secret movement”, or the law of positivity. Stay positive! See it happening!

What happens when it doesn’t? Is it now your fault for not reaching high enough? Is it your inability to expect correctly? Are you not doing it right? Do you need a refresher course in manifesting your destiny? Now for a limited time….$99.99 a refresher course on manifesting your destiny, hit the buy button…

The expectation on the planet is that there is answer to your specific issue. That there is a special staircase for your special rise to the top. There is a special person/teacher/pastor/partner waiting for your specialness and they will tell you what you need to do. You are most special , please continue to give, hit the button, and buy some good feelings, for a limited time only $19.95.

Our expectations are a problem. It is time to put responsibility back in our lap. We need to quit expecting anything. I know expecting seems correct, yet in the end expecting is you letting go of responsibility of whatever it is you are expecting. The highest spiritual teaching is the constant and consistent awareness of oneness with creator. There is no need to expect, constant oneness produces knowing, wisdom, and truth.

No one can make you happy or make you a success. No person on this planet has the permission to do for you what you must do for yourself. But, believe me, there is a gigantic population of would be helpers brimming with the promise to fulfill all of your expectations. And they take credit cards, cash, bitcoin and ultimately your blood.

Hand over your power to any human or group to fulfill your responsibilities and you can expect to be fulfilling someone else’s dream. You were created and placed here to figure out why. And please, quit expecting someone to tell you what your why is. No teacher or spiritual leader walking in truth will tell you because you have to know, you must have a knowing of yourself.

Dig deep, look within yourself, seek guidance but do it with open eyes or expect that guidance to lead you falsely.  Seek and ye shall find, knock and the door will be opened, ask and ye shall receive, all actions statements.

Stop expecting anything and begin knowing everything.

 

 

 

Almost done


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How do you write about those times in your life that push you so hard that you can hear your back breaking under the pressure. I for one get extremely tired of it. But it completely speaks to what this last 2 years have been for me and I am almost done. Done with the bull shit, done with falseness, done with fake spirituality, done with lies, done with manipulators, done, done and done.

What is with women who will beat an idea, hope or dream to death? “It will work, he will change, she will do what she said, they will keep their promises”, done, done and done. No they won’t, nor will he/she/they ever.

A human reveals their truth easily but often through rose colored glasses we refuse to see, or acknowledge what we instinctively know, and then we will walk right into a glass door all the while pretending this isn’t who they revealed themselves to be.

I’ve been teaching about self responsibility as long as I can remember and here I stand having denied my own truth. I gave away my power and lessons learned are having to be relearned. Thank God for our brains! Through my own volition I can make mistakes and correct them as often as I need to, that’s life. That’s why we are on a practice planet working at being human. But it doesn’t change that I am done dealing with this.

We are at a collective time of hardship on our planet, end times and all of that. We must have our eyes open and our hearts and minds engaged and their-in lies the problem. When life gets tough we close our eyes and ears singing lalalalalala I can’t hear you, so its not real. We spend time fooling ourselves until it is written on our face or reveled in our sickness and/or broken relationships.

Look up, Listen up, for the truth is there to see and is being sung for us all to hear.

This is not an easy ride; people are hurting, people are dying, hearts are being broken and lives are being changed forever. I am almost done.

After the death of my grandson my life was never going to be the same again because I would never be able to think on my pathetic weakness without remembering the horror my daughter had to endure. I allowed weakness to overtake me and hide the truth that was in front of my face. I had made a tactical error and trusted the untrustworthy. I had to face the lies I was telling myself. I leaned on myself rather than turning to God, the higher power that has always lead me.

My mistake, and I am done.

 

I’m fine


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Don’t you get like that, just wishing people could see there is no real way you could be fine yet you are, fine, that is…just fine. After they ask you know they don’t really want to know if you are fine because they need you to be fine. So you are, just fine. But inside you are far from fine.

Then there are the others who when you look at them you can see the pressure and force they are using to keep up appearances, really you recognize the look of horror just behind their eyes…

“are you ok?”,

“no,umm yes, I’m fine.”

How is it we keep saying we are fine?

I see not fine when walking around and through groups of people. I see that look of things are not ok. It’s a stare of vacant eyes, a disconnect from reality because as you say are you ok, they come bouncing back into their bodies, yes, “I’m fine.”

No, you are not! It’s written on your face, this truth they themselves cannot see, they are not ok.

Our outsides need to match our insides, without that we become out of sync with ourselves.

Sometimes the one doing the asking, are you ok, was sent to help you. A Being put right in your path to assist you, sometimes with an encouraging word, sometimes with a, I know someone you can meet. But you turn them away with your unconscious I’m fine. We need to answer with consciousness when someone asks us, “Are you ok?”

It’s not that heroic to tell someone you are ok if there are tears in your eyes and you obviously need help. It’s not heroic to keep stuff so trapped inside of you it seeps out in not so awesome ways, if someone offers help, take it!!!!!!!

“I’m fine” said over and over when the opposite is true can be just a weakness of ego and a symptom of being a victim.

“I’m fine” said with determination works as a great spiritual tool especially when you realize you have lost your voice and strength, then you can work your self-power by seeing and believing, “I’m fine”, Right… fake it until you make it… new habits of positive self-talk indeed lift vibration bringing you in alignment with more positive things happening in your life. But you have to say it and mean it. Use it as a tool of self-growth and self-encouragement.

The minute your voice changes it into, I”M FINE or say it in a whine, is the minute the energy changes and it becomes ineffective and wrong. Try to be more real with your self and speak your truth. You will feel the strength of your true voice return.

Know that truly being fine is the goal. So be fine when you are fine, and be fine when you can be fine, fake being fine only when you know you are just experiencing a bump in the road, but don’t fake fine when you are far from being fine, that is not fine at all!

resetting the clock


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We humans are experiencing burn-out. Its hot, the world is on fire and it’s making everything difficult. Tempers are flaring with the temperature and without tending to ourselves we will get hot under the collar spewing the excess heat accumulated in our souls on everyone we meet. Like the trash can, we too need to be emptied and frankly it needs to be done everyday. It stinks when we don’t empty the kitchen trash it’s no different in the human vessel. Leave the trash of negativity inside the body and boy, the smell.

If we haven’t yet discovered the true reason to meditate, then we ourselves are not emptying the trash and are accumulating ideas and experiences that are sitting on top of each other. Sometimes this mishmash of thoughts and ideas just don’t gel and you have a stinky mess inside of you holding you down or back. We need to reset our clocks, clean out the trash, start with a fresh view of our life and what’s happening. Some many of us are stuck.

Stuck is not realistic, nor a place to stay. But we see it all of the time. I can’t leave my husband, my job needs me, my mom, my dad, my kids my dog, you name it and it’s the reason we must stay stuck, you know, for them. Being stuck is a famous trick of that being who hopes you will sit down in your misery and pick up your pointer finger looking for someone to blame.

So easy to blame someone, anyone, the times, the sky, my lunch, sorry baby its all designed as the lesson that will push you over the edge of blaming everything and back towards reason. We get stuck in old stuff and we fall as we refuse to get what we are here to learn. The rejection of our life lessons leads to the fall, off our rocker, out of reason, towards being a victim.

With a firm meditation practice and true spiritual belief, when you are falling, the hope is that you will reach for your tools, remember what you know, and at the very least, scream out for God. We must reset our own clock, fix our own issues, deal with ourselves, it is after all our life. In that moment of realizing just how much work it is to be you that needing to control everything and everyone around you will stop and you will get down to work.

The sunrise for me is the sign of see, its brand new day. It resets my clock. How do I hold on to my crap when the sun comes to burn the remnants of yesterday away, sweeping my mind of clutter making room for the potential of this new day. How does the sun get to work for us if we keep dragging yesterday into today?

Take responsibility for accepting the fact that yesterday is gone, this new sunrise is this fresh new day. Use the sunrise and turn your face towards it, let it pour its light into you. It’s no joke just how powerful keeping the image and feeling of the sun inside of you is. Its mighty that sun, and over time you will feel its mightiness. Remember, that which you constantly have on your mind will filter through your thoughts and move down into your reality. My life sucks, and so it does. Keep saying the sun shines in me and on me and it will.

The sun shines on us everyday, cloudy or not. Spend a few minutes with the early sun and use it to help let go of yesterday. Then be the presence of the sun for those around you, shine so great that they will not want to rehash their past with you. You will be the presence that makes them want to shine, telling good stories, uplifting stories.

Daily mediation will take whininess out of your life. The sun is not into whininess it shines to bright for that. If you want a life that is uplifting for yourself and others then pull that sun right down into your chest and imagine it sitting inside you shining on everyone. The moon comes and goes, it helps us maintain balance but to much and you can’t get yourself up and you may finds yourself down. The sun is uplifting all the way through the day. It’s setting energy  is also a powerful thing, think on it. It takes a long time for the sun light to be extinguished and the sky to get completely dark, it stays with us just being the boss of the dark.

Because truthfully the sun doesn’t set, we the Earth turn away from it. That sun is shining every minute of everyday for more years than any of us can imagine. The sun doesn’t darken or leave, we turn away from it. So reset your clock by facing the sunrise in the morning giving thanks for the life giving sun. Clean out your trash by meditating. Let the hot rays of the sun burn yesterday right out of you so today can be a new day, a great day, or at the very least a day you have your eyes wide open through it.

God bless the sun, and God bless you!

The Spirituality of magical thinking


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I read the New York Times every morning, I watch the news, I listen to radio, I keep my ear to the ground in order to best know where to put the energy of my magical thinking. I do not look on bad news as bad because there is a spin in the news to illicit emotional responses, or to instill fear and hopelessness. Just another attempt of the ignorance of darkness to wrap itself around our thinking minds, coloring how we feel and think. No thanks, I will do it for myself. There is no judgment in this thinking but rather a decision made to lift the veil of ignorance and do the job of sending healing light.

The middle east is struggling and the violence towards women increased and horrifying, as I hope you are well aware. While we make think it nothing because it is over there and their problem, it is really a microcosm look at what is going on with the power of women to reassert themselves. It is also happening with racial and sexual/gender equality, people are trying to find their voice and others are working to shut them up.

The violence is a pushback from the old guard not wanting to relinquish control. A control that is not real but in the minds of men, feels real enough. The thought we are all one, only works when everyone, EVERYONE, finally believes it and begins to treat each citizen as an important part of our collective human family. Each member, uncle what’s his name, geeky aunt betty and bossy grandma Em, and all those killing off women and children in every neck of the woods. There is not a dominate sex, or a correct gender, or a right color, or one view of truth in religions desire to control the thoughts of the masses.

Magical thinking and the quantum field teach that through the energy of thought, any thought can move and it affects humanity. With enough people thinking the corrected thought, we are all one, we are our brother’s keeper, and there by the grace of God go I, these thoughts will move through humanity. Hundredth monkey principal. They will cause change. Thoughts are energy in motion, like the riot mentality you see in crowds easily motivated through rough emotions, that the same energy can be gathered to encourage the upliftment of a negative thought form flowing unabated over our world affecting those to weak to control their own emotions.

The humans overwhelmed by emotions are not seeing correctly and old world beliefs can be hard to dislodge from a disenfranchised group of people who have no hope. When the men of the mid-east and frankly other places as well, are so afraid of allowing women their own thoughts, identities and way of expression of life, what can their thinking be? This is just ignorance.

We all improved when each human has a voice and a correct compass setting in their heart. We as a collective have enough knowledge to know that money is not the answer it has produced greed and the negative thought form that taking what you want, at the expense of others is just fine, destroying the world, just fine, killing, poisoning, bombing, lying, just fine. NOT FINE!

We are a collective, face it, we are, we are lifted together and brought down together, it is the work of those who have gone past the world of illusion and see the truth. That those who seek to control are not our friend. Those who seek to manipulate, not our friend, we must open our eyes, and see. And then be the opposite. We can use the collective mind to enhance those who ignorance can not be helped through regular means, to far away from truth, to influenced by negative beliefs, worn out notions of the have and have-nots. We, as our own consciousness rises, see above the fray, past the ignorance, into the darkness, so that we through our own meditative work can send light. Just like that.

It is magical thinking. It is the kind of easy change that can change the world and how others treat humanity and the earth itself. The ignorance of those who can not step away from the smallness of their mind to even glimpse the higher worlds of light need our help. It is within our reach, would we but believe it. I  use magical thinking all of the time. And now its time to use that magical thinking to help lift the ones struggling.

In my mind’s eye I see light reaching into the mind and hearts of these men, so that they may feel and see that each women killed, is a mother, sister, daughter, of someone, and every child killed was the potential of God on earth, each child, each individual, carries the spark of the creator. It would be wise to see God in everyone. Because God sees itself in all of us and those who would seek to change this view might want to check their thinking.

Now to the women, we women have a responsibility to our sisters and daughters struggling. Spend time in your prayers and meditation in a nonjudgemental way to speak to the creator of this, Creator knows, probably hopes we want to know, and that we want to assist to heal not assist to hurt. We lift ignorance through our concentrated effort of lifting humanity through the use of light. See the world surrounded by the purest bright light, that lets God do the work but it gives God the sign we are ready for the work to begin.

It is time for the women to rise. It is magical thinking. It is using the spirit of God to help, to heal, to be apart of the solution of bringing peace to earth. It is magical thinking and only a few steps away.

It’s time for humanity to rise!

life lessons


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I think people have no idea the power of their negative patterns. You will hear people tell you the same story over and over again with only the names being changed. “She left me, again” Everyone around trying to be supportive because it is the same thing with you, find someone then its “fight, break up then make up, same story different day. Everyone around us can identify where others are stuck but very few people seem to see their own stuck-ness.

Now I am talking about typical human behavior not the kind of irrational behavior that needs supervision and medication. I am talking about the things that hold us back, the things that we won’t readily admit we have the most problem dealing with.

We are swimming in a fog of forgetfulness as far as our own faults and needs to grow are concerned. We will declare our willingness and claim a renewed vigor on our favorite walk of life, slowly losing steam as we realize the real work of change is just that “work”. We do not change because it is a fun activity we change because what we are doing isn’t working anymore and we know it. We have been digging a rut on our life journey following the same circle over and over, claiming each time to do better or better yet pretending you don’t see yourself walking into brick wall as you say “ok, let’s try it one more time”, really one more time!

Yah, one more time, because sometimes its easier to just deal with it than it is to take the steps towards real change.

Because who are we trying to fool. If we are not ready to change there’s not a damn thing that can make us change. Life gets very comfortable even in its stupidness. Especially with our relentless pursuit of entertainment and pleasure to over ride the pain of our unsuccessful lives. We do stupid things, we live unconsciously. And who are you to tells us otherwise?

Sometimes the self loathing we feel towards ourselves causes us to be in denial and while all the evidence points to the fact we are not really making any progress towards our goal we will proclaim victimhood to self-responsibility. Life is hard, yup, check, and sometimes the best teacher you get is the one staring at you in the mirror, you know the one looking at you after you have messed things up, again! We have to be conscious or we will be constantly falling victim to our negative patterns.

Face it, we all have things we need to work on, we ALL do. So do yourself a favor and begin to at least own your stuff. Start to live an examined life. If you are standing on a life path that is experiencing a cascading avalanche of negativity go back through your memories until you find the one that shows you  pulling the lever that was holding the avalanche back. We are here to learn and when we don’t do it consciously we will find ourselves being tripped up by our own ignorance and blindness. We want to learn, deep down inside everyone wants to be better, it just gets covered up in ego and fear, and then we forget.

The joy of being human is the free will we have been given to learn the divine spiritual wisdom needed to run our lives. But it does no good at all to have the freedom and wisdom to run our life if we don’t first have control over it. Understanding how you are tripping your self up will give you the ability to see obstacles as they approach rather than dealing with them after the collision. Take stock in your life and if you find yourself trapped repeating a negative pattern, get out of the house of mirrors, clean off the lens of your eyes and face your reality. Start learning your lessons and get back into the driver’s seat of your life.

Pointing the finger


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I remember hearing this for the first time and it was a profound learning on how pointless being a victim is, (pun intended). Like I was saying the entire notion changed my world view. As a women I had grown up having been taught that at some point, when I accomplished some goal, or reached some unknown point, a knight in shining armor would show up swooping in to take care of me. Frankly I had been waiting all of my life for this false notion to manifest itself until it did…in the form of this wisdom, point a finger at someone and 3 fingers are pointing back at you. I could spend the rest of my life thinking that I was owed something or I could take responsibility for myself and realize that as I worked towards releasing my own gifts I would learn to finally take of myself.

It seems self-evident to say we are walking through the present moment and it is brought to us by our past thinking actions and words. In other words if your life is a mess, shift through your memories and try to catch the originating thought, you know the one that made you the boss, the one in charge, the know it all. The one who didn’t want to take responsibility but was hiding behind antiquated beliefs. Being a victim is an outdated thought we all need to give a rest. As far as I am concerned, the only victims are children and the truly naive. Every other form of victim thinking is allowing weakness to stand in your stead and what kind of creator created a creation that would have to hang its head in an oh woe is me fashion.

Being a victim can be a hidden thought within your own self especially if you have really forceful thinking in certain areas, for example we all think we know what is right in a world where we can name right from wrong. Problem is that every one of us is living life and looking through eyes that are feeling and seeing through many veils of conditioned thinking, “Look what that person is doing, of course, I am the victim” Like my thought that someone “out there” was supposed to take care of me, it took me living in the woods without running water and indoor plumbing to get that if I could take responsibility myself my circumstances would change. And change they did and you can read about it in my book(Shameless plug, Living Words: A Wisdom Yoga Journey Towards Health will be available for purchase in January, yay!) When we take responsibility for our lives miracles can happen.

So as we walk towards the holiday season a time when many people’s less than button can be pushed, holiday party’s…, I don’t have a dress, Will what’s his name get drunk? Family…, who’s going to say the wrong thing? All of us eating too much, drinking too much, talking too much, and then blaming the holidays…or your partner, or your children, or the government, or God… Take responsibility and stop being a victim, maybe a few people around you will do the same, either way, take responsibility! The Devil did not make you do it!

Take charge of your emotional health and do whatever it takes to remain neutral and a calm presence for your friends and family. Know that as you turn your frown upside down especially, while in the company of those you would rather strangle, you are turning the vibrational tide of your life. Even when all the evidence supports your victim theory then let it be the lesson that turns everything around. Start being the person who opens their hand in help rather than the one pointing the finger of blame.

I advocate being the master of your life and domain not being a victim of circumstances. Learn to turn your attention to the laws that run our universe and move with the flow. Your victim days will be far behind you as the river of life moves you towards a more successful experience. A victim wins by becoming a victor