What’s that skin you’re in


We live in a body and confuse ourselves with it.

The body is a body when nothing is in it.

Its made of clay or at least that’s what they say,

but the essence inside it most certainly isn’t.

We forget what we’re made of,

not a singular thing.

Our body is a skin suit we wear like our bling.

The soul that occupies this body we live in,

is immortal and loving though we often forget it.

Be nice to your body we can’t yet change sleeves,

but cooperate with it and then do as you please.

This body has a once in a lifetime use,

so use it well there is no excuse.

 

 

 

Baby it’s dark outside


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Here in the Northland, daytime is but a memory as clouds, snow and 3:30 sunsets become the norm. In this part of the world the idea of the Winter Solstice and the return of light, is the light at the end of the tunnel reminding us that the universe does a lot of work under the cover darkness but the promise of the return is inevitable, and undeniable.

I have holiday lights ever twinkling, candles always burning and have created a beautiful cave for this season of interior work. While it is often hard to deal with so much dark there is an innate intimacy that is created between myself and the would be spirits that hang around. I feel the spirit of my grandma when I think on my loneliness and feel her assure me I am not alone.

When the sun does come out for just a brief time I stand in my window and let its rays wash over me so I can remember and stay hopeful for its return. I love the sun and sitting outside, less lonely out there. But now I sit inside looking out, it can be lonely in here. So as soon as I wake and after the so-called sunshine goes down, I turn on my twinkling lights and burn my candles and sit in this wonderland that I have created.

Only in the quiet do we hear the sound of our soul’s yearning and learn to discern the voice that may be God’s. Only in the dark without witness can I let myself be free to be me. In the dark where I am not afraid but released from eyes that hold judgement and I can sing and dance, and cry and scream, until all of me is free. My spirit soars into the sky, my dreams become bigger and the dragon I ride moves darkness away. The darkness is a presence that seeks to keep me down, but that’s not what the dark is outside this time of year.

This darkness is a blanket, it is a freedom of sort, a blank slate for recreating. This time of year reminds us of the impermanence of all things. Just like the dark to the day. The seasons call on us to change, be more, be different, be the same, just be, because the greatest gift to humans is our ability and freedom to be-come.

You may become whatever you wish. So baby it maybe dark outside but inside of the soul is a light that can’t be put out, unless you put it out. Use the dark to find your true self. Use the dark and be silent and listen to your hearts desire. Sing your song, write your story, be your dream.

The dark is only scary if you have no awareness of your light. Shine on baby, shine on!

 

make a decision, be a dreamweaver


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At some point we have to make the decision that defines our life. We have to chose to step over the line of complacency and accept responsibility for where we are at even if we have been stuck in a rut for years. The greatest act of freedom is in acting free. But you are not free if the voice in your head is not yours and the path you are following was dictated to you not the path of your heart.

Life is scary and none of us want to be caught with our pants down. No one likes to fail, or look stupid in anyway but it is also the reason we become stuck. You must be willing to fail in order to move towards what you truly want for yourself and your life. Do you want it written she lived but she was scared and never did realize her dreams. Its not easy to be a dreamweaver.

We are born with gifts and talents, as is everyone you see. All of us were born with potential. Those who have succeeded listened to the voice of their soul way over the voices of the naysayers of “who do you think you are?” and became their hearts desire. We as humans are willing to settle way to quick. Life is hard, get over it and pursue your dream.

The road in front of you is going to fork over and over again. It will present opportunities for growth and healing and it will be your choice to heed the call or stay wishy washy in your approach to life, boo hooing to God for leaving you behind. We are God’s children, not God’s spoiled brats, God expects us to live our life not follow someone’s life or be told by another. We were to engage our own thinking mind and as we realize our potential we will know what a gift we have been given.

Make a decision to be better. Dream of your life not of your horror. Project a future of happiness and fulfillment. Your future is coming anyway so make a decision to work with flow and the force that is God. As you move past your victim thinking you will open to the field of possibilities that you are walking through each day. That field is full of potential, creative energy looking for someone to serve, might as well be you!

Quit being thrown around by life. Quit allowing that broken person in you to have a voice, enough already. Make a decision to walk in faith believing in better days. Make a decision not to be so negative. What you change about yourself will be the change that affects the your entire family. It happened to mine.

You are a walking ball of potential. You are carrying inside of you the power that once ignited will change your life. Make a decision to walks towards it. Learn how to be silent so that the voice of soul can be heard.

Make a decision and be a dreamweaver!

Completion


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Well I did it! This is a picture of my book and chanting CD. It has been a long process and a sometimes painful and frustrating one but I did it. I went through the creative fire and was able to produce something that I hope will help many lives. This project pushed and pulled me through many emotional peaks and valleys but it also forced me to grow on so many levels and has become the foundational platform from which my next work will be created.

I’ve talked before about the book. It’s about my journey through a nearly 4 year illness and what I did to recover. The story is very important to me because at the time of my illness the doctors were never really able to determine what was wrong with me. I was very ill, in a great deal of pain, very weak unable to get out of bed. I ended up having about 6 surgeries and was in and out of the hospital a great deal. Not to mention that during the same time I was so ill my Grandmother dies, my Mom is diagnosed with stage 4 non-smokers lung cancer and she dies, soon followed by my husband leaving me. By the time I turn 50 I had pretty much had enough of life. But the spiritual fire that had been stoked by my long illness was still lit and the teacher I worked with while I was so sick told me I should write a book, so I did. And because of the energetic healing belief I have in the power of chanting, it made recording a chanting album next on the list.

I am as grateful to my teacher for helping me to recover from my illness as I am to his pushing me to finish and publish my book and for helping me get past the sheer terror of recording a CD. But I did it! I am so proud of what I did and that has been a bit tricky as well. Any time one of us steps forward we can find others milling around blocking our ability to pass, negative well wishers, jealous and stuck in their body of pain wanting to take everyone down with them. It makes celebrating your accomplishments feel like an exercise in self indulgence or something you wish to avoid.

But life is to be celebrated. Most people are genuinely happy for someone else’s accomplishments and successes. It helps us to remember that all things are possible and when we are willing to put in the work we too can make our dreams a reality. Celebrating a finished accomplishment is an important part of the cycle created when the idea was first born. Remember again that most people are filled with ideas, one after another of brilliant ideas, and not a lick of follow through. It takes work, and lots of perseverance to make something happen. You have to be willing to fail, and fail again, it can be humiliating but it’s movement, it’s action, it’s doing…it’s life.

We need to do creative work in what ever capacity it comes to us. Whether we are writers, painters, homemakers, landscape artists, people who like to color, being creative in whatever capacity allows the creative force of God to move through you. And really, let me tell you, when you are in that creative zone, in the fire, it is just like they say, time stops, nothing matters, just you and the work. You will feel God, even if it just feels like the best rush of good feelings you have ever felt. In allowing the flow of the creator to move through you is also to remember that creator also works through us and our creative endeavors become the teaching experience and tools used to push stories, and new information through the masses.

Sit in a Church with paintings of the stations of the Cross, watch the unfolding drama of the story of Christ and tell me you can not see what torture was at hand, what sacrifice was made. These paintings are a meditation on faith, without saying a word. In the creative flow of images and words, songs and chants is the ability to lift people, move people, inform people and offer a glimpse of the vast concept that is our creator. We must do our work in order that God may be heard through the masses, in voices that the masses understand. Each of us has a unique voice and way to tell a story that reaches every soul in a vastly different way. So we need everybody sharing so the wisdom may move to uplift our brothers and sisters. All of our voices together become a choir singing to God.

You can find my Book on Amazon, BN.com and my CD on CDbaby on 1/20/2015. If you have any questions feel free to email me. Find me on Facebook and message, either way.

Get out there and get your creative on!

Pause


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To me the pause button is the most important function on the remote. I just need the movie or music to stop for a bit. I don’t need to start over. I don’t want to stop because restarting means trying to find where I was when I stopped. All I want is to pause mostly for bathroom breaks sometimes because the phone rang. I just need to pause. If I pause to long the machine will stop but at least I had the option of just pausing. It is also easy to get things going again just hit play.

Life needs a pause button. Sometimes we need to step back for a bit and really look at what’s going on. Too many times people will come to a complete stop and turn their life ship around midstream because fear of the unknown became to great. Retreat! the mind says when really you just needed to pause. A brief review of your intentions can bring the direction of your life ship back on steady course. Panic is never a good course correction idea. Which makes me think of every scary movie when the scary thing occurs and instead of being still or running for cover, they head to the basement to check the noise or run full on right into the chainsaw. Pause for a second people, let’s quit freaking out.

Now a good pause button when used allows the perspective you need to gather your wits and continue. It also will allow you to see what is real and maybe you do need to hit the stop button and restart in a new direction. Cool thing about the pause button you can hit it again and again without interrupting the flow of the narrative. This allows for careful stepping on your life path when you become unsure. Face it we all become unsure at some point. Do I leave him/her or not? Do I take this job or not? Pause take a break feel yourself into the answer, reactions make for poor choices. Pause think and continue!

Problem with some pause buttons is the endless pause. Button pushed, light flashes, endlessly… That is not helpful one must make a decision, take a stand, move forward. That is how life works,and this is how we learn by moving forward. But when fear becomes overwhelming and the apparent endless mistakes of our lives get the best of us many reach for the pause button and sit down when they should have hit the stop and restarted. Depression is a sign of a pause button gone wrong. You have to hit play to keep life going. Life lived on pause is not a life at all.

Many people will ht that button and give up on ever being able to move forward again, why bother… But life even filled with mistakes is better than a life not lived. They (who ever they are) really mean it when they say its all about the life lessons. Nothing makes you more you than having gone through the BS you have gone through and the results of having been down the hard luck road. How do your children get the strength to take on the world if you yourself live in fear with your pause button pressed afraid to go on?

So use your pause button in times of stress. Take the time you need to recharge so you know you are making good decisions. Take time to feel into your heart. Make sure the time you are spending fills your soul and remember you might need to change directions. Again if you hate your job you will take that lovely energy right back to your house for your family to enjoy, please save us all the misery. In the spiritual tradition we say do what you love and love what you do. Nothing else matters, all the details of life get taking care of one way or another. My favorite way to see things in perspective is to understand if you drop dead right now someone will be in your house, others will have your things and someone else will do your job. Life is but a drop in the bucket of time.

Never let the dissatisfaction of your life be the banner you wear. We see you bitter face. Take time to pause and make a better choice for yourself. Then hit play and live your life with passion!