Get the eff out of here


Get the eff out of here!

I am sick of the sound of your voice.

All I hear is lalala,

so get out and leave me the choice.

I’ll tell you again and for the last effing time

it’s mine and no one else.

It’s time you got the eff out of here

before a swan song becomes your plea.

We are done listening to you

of this you will soon agree

Because that sound you hear behind you,

is not mercy coming to thee.

 

 

 

the noise in your head


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Noise

there is too much noise and nothing is being said

you see the tongue wag but hear nothing instead

our ears are bombarded with a constant stream

but the stream is not clear its filled with dread

try to be alone for just one little minute

and the noise will likely drive you to drink

you call it silence and hates its sound

but you wouldn’t know silence if it was the only gig in town

most of the noise comes from your head

thinking of this or that or something that is dead

a thought a dream a well wish or two

that noise is your disappointments raining down on you

we think we know truth for ourselves at least

problem is we don’t we just believe as we please

we believe we are victims or victors over “them”

we are no different actually we are “them”

our power lies in truth no, not yours the actual truth

the way to truth is to dim the noise

discern for yourself through that destructive voice

you are not bad, or worthless, or worse

you are a radio with your station stuck on morose

it seems simple to say just change your mind

but it will change that station that makes you blind

clear the stream that bombards your head

listen to a joyful station instead

you are fine take it from me

really, we are all fine

just wait and see

Forgiveness


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I’ve always had a hard time with forgiveness not that forgiveness is hard it just seemed like a get out of jail card. “That’s ok I forgive you”, over and over and nobody learns and you become a doormat of “that’s ok I forgive you”.

The course of miracles assigns forgiveness as the only act we need perform. That not being forgiving is what is causing the breakdown of our lives. This action takes us back to what they consider the original sin, the guilt that plagues us because we turned away from God and are ultimately responsible for the need of a savior that had to die for us.

Our unwillingness to forgive ourselves holds us away from the love of God that is ever-present though unrecognizable. Most everyone who has suffered abuse by family members find forgiveness difficult and it becomes a hallmark of their lives. Oh woe is me and all that has happened. It takes a long time to realize the pettiness of our lives is surrounded by our small-minded thinking that we came to this world to be victims of it.

Forgiveness is the key to power. When a person moves away from childish thoughts and immature beliefs, we can begin to open our eyes to a greater belief in what life is about. It is but growth, and the hardest form of growth because it is seemingly hard forgiving someone who would rather you see you in pain and/or dead. As children we do not see our parents or any abuse as a fault of the perpetrator but only in a guilt ridden state of ‘what did I do to deserve this’, which becomes a mantle life rests on.

If we can make that bend in the road towards maturity and spiritual maturity at that, we can see the pain of our others that has only been seen as “what a bitch you are”, “how could you treat me so badly?” to what motivates their need to perpetrate pain on others to begin with. Like the Christ said, “Father, forgive them they know not what they do.” is that awareness. Those who are motivated by fear lead fearful lives. What’s hard to see is that those perpetrating pain are the most fearful.

In a world of eat or be eaten, you can see how this theory plays out. Who ever has the loudest voice, most powerful fist, gun or bomb, becomes the winner. But it is their fear that makes them want to shoot first ask questions later. That’s still a child’s game.

Forgiveness is what most women will carry for their children as an act of unconditional love. The wise woman who understands her man. But do not think forgivenss as act of weakness because it is only the strong who recognize truth, beyond what it is wrapped in. If my child is lying then it is because they fear being found out.

So I guess they are right, forgiveness is an act of love and the greatest of all actions. It does not produce doormats, or weak women who can’t or won’t get away from an abuser. Forgiveness is an act of strength and is an active word. We can forgive as we move on, we can forgive as we try to forget, we can forgive because love is a force whose true strength really is not recognized in our world of pop culture, and popularity contests.

For the new year, choose someone or some act perpratrated against you to forgive. From your mother, father, brother, sister, child, priest, teacher, lover, husband, wife, any group of people or organizations. Because in the end forgiveness will release you. The energy it takes to stay in anger, fear or loathing is great, and unnecessary. Open your eyes and your mind to what growth would be yours if forgiveness was your next move.

Let’s make 2018 great, let’s do it for ourselves and watch how it releases everyone.

 

Awareness in Relationship


images-2.jpgI am having many ah moments reading Paul Selig’s books. It has reignited in me what my last disappointment I thought put out. Part of my search lately is trying to rise above the ceiling I kept running into while looking for truth in the many spiritual systems I have studied. In Churches, yoga studios, meditation centers and all manner of self-help gurus the same ideas of a rise was in place but they were held back by a wall or door that only the special could pass.
But within every organization I saw very few who had actually walked through the door and down the path to enlightenment but rather many that were teachings the steps while holding collection plates. And this group was usually the elite, the VIPs, the ones holding the knowledge that if you got close enough you could get too. Or so you thought.
Until we do the work of monitoring our influences, the false teachings will surround us and the truth will elude us, and all for thinking someone more powerful or with greater wisdom needs to lead. Every teaching you stumble upon is designed to awaken you to yourself. But our matrix is well designed and all you see, is whatever wrong you thought was done to you, whatever unfair thing happened to you, or an all around what the hell is going on you’re just a victim here…, it doesn’t make any of your projections real.
The true teachers teach love. Love as a vibration, a frequency not a sugary feel good orgasmic experience. It is a living frequency, the all-encompassing creative thread holding everything together.
Redefine true love for yourself and you will find that it has been there the entire time. In the beauty of a sunrise, the smile of a baby, the laughter of children, the purr of your cat, the wag of your dog’s tail, the snow flake falling on your hand, the last-minute nudge to turn right rather than left, the frequency of love is everywhere. You exist in the frequency of love and it is always in communication with you.
When you are in a love relationship with someone and they need you to change in some specific way in order to continue the relationship, think hard on this moment. Love in it’s truest form is freedom. In love we are free to be who we are with the choice to change that at any given time based on new information, free will baby. Love in the form of control, (you must do this for me), makes sacrifice a requirement of love. In love there will be sacrifice but to force a sacrifice of character is to kill off self-identity. That is not love but control.
From Paul’s work, “But when someone else sacrifices their own identity or those things they require to make them feel true to themselves for the benefit of another, you are not supporting integrity in your relationship. Period.”
We are free! Be free. Word I am word.
I’m reading “The Book of Love and Creation”, start with “I am the Word” if you are not familiar with Paul Selig’s writings.

One step away

One step away

I sometimes wonder if humanity feels fear and pain the way they do because we are always like the poem reads, one step away.  We continue dwelling on our negative issues feeling lost and abandoned, as if the boo hoo-ing has gotten any of us anywhere.

We feel one step away and we stay one step away.

Frankly, I think we humans, are like puppies lost from their mother who is simply on the other side of the blanket but totally absent to them.

We cry out in our own loneliness and pain, because when we look up, our eyes are so swollen with tears we can’t see that something is actually there watching over us, there always was.

And it’s waiting for us to take a step, or a stand, or a breath, or something…

Deep down inside of us is the awareness that we were once a part of something, just like that drop of water aware of the ocean it lives in, that is how our beginning was. But we are spilt off from our beginnings and now feel all alone.

Because, we forgot where we came from. More importantly, we forgot that we did not create ourselves.

We are here, wrapped in our individual skins suits, thinking we are alone in our bodies and our experiences. We are not. You are but one step away from your brothers and sisters at all times, and at one, with the source of life, all of the time. You are perfectly seen in the unseen world, recognized as a spiritual being lost in your physical life.

You are at one with all the unseen spirits surrounding you, who are working to try to get you, to see and hear them. Not with your physical eyes and ears necessarily, but with the other sense you have

…you know your knowing, you know that you know at least sometimes, no one can tell you what you KNOW is wrong. You have been aware of your knowing of something in truth all of your life. Time to put that part of yourself to work.

This life is for you to figure out, no one not even your God will do this for you. It’s all you baby, and all your choice to do, or not to do.

You are here for a reason and the “what” that put you here, is well aware of you. You don’t believe in it but believe me, it believes in you.

When you feel that sense of aloneness that comes with despair, use your mind to remind you that you are one step away from the source that created you. One thought away from the creative energy that sustains you.

You have come one step away from everything and there you stay, far from everything, one step away.

So be with everything and there you stay, at one with everything, that’s never been, one step away.

 

 

 

Staying in your lane


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Humans as a rule love to be the boss of things. They love to share their opinions and proselytize their beliefs. It is if you think about it a very hive mind behavior. A safety in numbers things. We like it best when others believe as we do and can feel like we are helping them as we firmly show them the errors of their ways. It helps us to feel better about the belief we have sunk our teeth into. There are people who still believe there is only one way towards salvation. And their definition of salvation is a bit one-sided.

Salvation is the act of saving or protecting from harm, risk, loss, destruction. So salvation can be the entrance of truth so that you may be saved from ignorance the greatest sin of all. Our search for truth, or salvation is a long road of truth seeking. My truth today is different than the truth of my yesterday’s. When I was younger I was a lot more rigid of what I thought truth was and how others were so very wrong.

Funny thing about time, growth, maturity… it changes your mind. It changes your perspective. And one must do this work for themselves. To stay in your lane is to understand that each human has a very unique hold of their perceptions, and their idea of the truth. All any of us can do is model behavior and belief. If what you say is truth or that your belief system”works” the proof is in the pudding they say, or it should be written all over your face, as the peace that surpasses understanding.

In the end none of us are changing anyone. As a parent you have power over your children… for a minute. We must lead by example, preach by behavior and spread hope by just being the peace we want to see in the world.

Stay in your lane. Love the lane your in. Try different lanes if you are dissatisfied with where you are at. Just remember all lanes are moving to somewhere and you are not the judge of where they go or how they get there. Stay in your lane.

 

 

 

We are starting again

We are starting again

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There are many reasons to write a blog, one being so you can be seen and adored by fans for your wit and so-called wisdom. This is not that kind of blog, as a matter of fact, this will be the kind of blog that you will either desire to read or you will burn this connection, heretic witch…oh well I say.

This is a coming to Jesus minute.

Something I have found hard for the last 11 years of my life is the absence of wisdom, and a complete lack of desire for reality. I mean for myself. The fantasy of our world is a much easier lie to tell ourselves, helping us to sleep at night, keeping us asleep during the day. You may even think that you want change or for things to be different. You still think you have control over outcomes. You think you live in reality, the real world, where shit is real and you can be killed, eaten, taken advantage of. That you have real choice.

Oh did you think you were actually awake, and in reality. Who’s reality…

No baby this is a dream…

There is no advancement in life without this knowledge. Sorry, you who think you know truth.

You are asleep at the wheel of your life. You feel alive, I did too. It seems like we are living in a reality. I mean really don’t tell me that last 5 day migraine was a figment of my imagination, I wanted to die, slit my throat, bleed out, it was as real as the letters you are reading right now.

Are these letters real or does your mind tell you these dashes mean something? Who interprets your words for you, who or what gives them meaning? These are the big questions.

You remember the song, row row row your boat gently down the stream, merrily merrily merrily merrily, life is but a dream.

We are living in a dream. Your mind as an advanced computer has given your eyes something to perceive and a world to find your way in and through. Apparently we have been tossed down here and now have to figure it out, in an eat or be eaten world.

Humanity will never move past the horror we are trapped in until someone, somewhere, comes out of the dream, kicking and screaming, trying to wake everyone up.

Guess what? I’ll be doing that. I have no idea of the name of the one who just through me out of my dream. The pain of that 5, 6 ,7 day headache drove me to an edge, no returning from that. Once you see differently you can never readjust your eyes to lies.

We are living in a lie, convinced of a material world that has no real backing, it’s an illusion, and believe me as I threw up my guts until my stomach threatened to follow I no more believed this is an illusion than you do right now. So convinced that your pain is real, your suffering is real, so was I.

Nope and wrong. Pain just happens to be one of the ways spirit talks to me, a human with a difficult past, seeminglyunloving uncaring parents and no real support in the real world. All of my power came from a belief that I had for myself. I had to get hard before they went at me again, I learned all tricks to side step, pain, any pain, emotional, physical, spiritual.

So when I fell in LA this last trip I already knew my head would respond. I get headaches like some people get indigestion or get pissed, a headache is always just a thought away, my head gives me buckets of pain.

Because I have believed I am the creator of myself. No one can help, no one cares frankly, and I’m living in a material world and I am a material girl. So many lies.

I am no more material than any of you are, your dream of reality is as powerful as mine was.

So I will lead a new charge. I am done swimming in a world of my own making. It sucks here. My body thinks it’s the boss of me and due to DNA weakness my body is a fu*king nightmare a lot of the time. So time to turn the channel and tune into a different version of reality.

In other words, I, during an experience of unimaginable pain, that I was not only forced to live through, but no amount of drugs would remove me from it. That suffering world be mine baby, all mine, and mine to fix, which I fu*king did, victory arms.

It is said that creator will give us know more than we can handle, or maybe its more important to say that the greater your intelligence, and willingness to change or see clearly, creator will assist in clearing the cob webs from your mind, the film in front of your eyes, and release you from the cage your heart is trapped in. Using any and all means available.

Stay with me, and I’ll explain it all, as it was and is revealed to me,

you know, heretic witch that I am.

 

 

What’s your hidden agenda?


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Can there be a hidden agenda when you find yourself; sitting, standing or ‘talking’ with a human that can barely lift their head?

Now, all eyes are down, phone in hand, zombie like gaze induced.

We know at once, what’s important to this human. Its status, its social standing, its virtual life. While eating, visiting, even working, all eyes on us…certainly not on you.

The human agenda has grown in its obviousness. Every moment can be known, be documented; fixed with photo shop, edited by spell check and instantaneously posted on Instagram. Like wearing a set of the Emperor’s new clothes we scream without sound; I am a star, I am a yogi, I am a spiritual teacher, I am a great mother/father/partner. I am beautiful, important, needed. I am lost, sad, horrified. I am the answer, I have the key, I have the map, I know the way…

Until we get that; it’s the same questions being asked, It’s the same feelings being felt, escaped and handled, we haven’t learned a thing.

The human condition has little changed; from the barbaric years of human sacrifices wait… we are still doing that…the human condition has little changed, period. You will find on the spiritual walk, path after path, all designed to do the same thing, enlighten you to this fact, nothing has ever changed. You have been chasing; money, power, fame, love, peace and you have not found it. You hide behind a hidden agenda of pretending to know what you want, or what you are looking for. Your hidden agenda drives your purpose in life and for most it’s just to keep the inner you hidden from sight. You are driven but to who knows where, to do who knows what?

And nothing will ever change.

Until you do…

So let’s get it out in the open, there is a hidden agenda within you. It’s an original operating instruction that was given to assist humans. It was, to seek the source of all, to find the maker and then merge with it. Really, underneath your desire to lose weight, get married, have a child, be the world savior, is this first operating instruction. Seek your source!

When our original instructions are obstructed in any way you become lost to your operational intent. You cannot merge with your original source because its signal bounces off of you rather than becomes a part of you. You can only merge with the signal when you open to it and it flows through you. Without merging  you are empty and this will cause you a feeling of discontentedness that you will try to fill with all manner of things.

Face it you are like a computer with bad code, you run at some capacity but not at full power.

But key in the proper code, boom. Keep your hidden agenda out in the open, search for the key that unlocks your secret heart and never give that password to anyone.

messages for the push


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There are times in life when the cheer leading squad of your world gets busy or is uplifting someone else, you can beg and plead with your God or the universe for a kind word and the silence will be deafening! I mean the screaming sound of nothing can take your breath away. It is the loneliest feeling, needing something you can’t find or reach for yourself. Yet, what do we learn, the strength you need to get through your sh*t is inside of you.There is inside of all of us a self-regulating monitor of love and support which can be activated if you quit looking for a source outside of yourself. The great power of the universe is inside of you. When we scream in frustration sometimes it’s because we know, we need to do something. Crying into the wind only can do so much…

So here are some push notifications to use when you need to remind yourself of the power in YOU

  1. You are unique. The world seemingly desires consistency between us humans, all the same wonderful weight and degree of success. But that level of sameness will burn the world out. We were made unique, a single vortex of creative energy that can suck a room dry with its neediness, or swirl in its wonder becoming everything you were meant to be. So stop trying to be “them” or “one of them”or “just like them” You were meant to be you, singularly you, without you where would any of us be?               SO BE YOU
  2. There is no wrong answer. Sorry perfectionists but each of us develops our own answers for our own unique life. I’m not Betty and you are not Joe. So what works for Betty may not work for Joe. And for every question you have there are a multitude of answers, there is not just one. An experiment is done over and over with minute changes in the problem to test outcomes. What is an answer today may become a problem tomorrow. SO KEEP TRYING, don’t stop searching for the unique answer for your unique question.
  3. You look like you are supposed to. It cannot be stated enough that your physical shell is not you, just the entity that houses you. We change houses all of the time. We remodel our houses. But if you tear your house down before you have another house you will be homeless, a spirit without a body. This is how most people live, as a spirit without a body because they hate their body. Hate yourself long enough and your body will begin to play along. Look in the mirror and see you, if you need to do some remodeling then do so. But remember you are not your body, it looks like its suppose to. You are awesome just as you are.
  4. Material success is not real. Change fixes that, one day this makes you rich the next day your money is gone. Material plane anything is a but a dream. Because frankly material success is a trap. Once you are dead your material success stays here and you go to the next world taking with you what can’t be carried. Don’t be fooled by a world that wishes to make you a slave to material things and this desire your primary concern. You can’t take it with you so work to have that which is not material.
  5. Love is the answer. The horror is most people have no real idea what true love is. The level of sacrifice, the amount of pain we endure, the hopelessness we face in an uncertain world all contribute to our suffering. This one is easy and hard but the lord gave us the one law, love your creator with all your might and love your neighbor as yourself. Correct your eyesight from dismissive judgement, see the other in front of you as you, see the world as a parent sees a child, love with the fury of a mother and the world will love you back.
  6. It is all a mystery. There is no human who knows. There is no one better than another, in the eyes of the big game of life. There is no second place. There are no winners or losers. There are no rules only consequences. The mystery of life is like a veil over our eyes keeping us from truth but focus your eyes on the third eye and your vision will  clear. Be better everyday. Be open to all that is happening and the mysteries of the universe will open to you.
  7. Be in charge of you. Face it no one knows you better than you know yourself.
  8. Don’t let anyone be the boss of you. Think for yourself. Be your biggest fan.
  9. Do your inner work . Be flexible in your beliefs. Keep your eyes on truth. Do not let someone else influence your beliefs. Be your own monitor.
  10. Use silence as a spiritual practice. When all else fails put your hands in front of your mouth, stop talking, start listening. That incessant chatting inside of your head is getting you nowhere fast, silence that voice. Harness inside of your self the voice of truth. Believe me, truth has a distinctive voice, you will recognize truth when you hear it. Believe in silence and let nothing penetrate your inner most self. God made you so be quiet and hear the voice of your creator, it calls for us.
  11. Be still and know that I am God. You can’t do it alone. We were not meant to do it alone. The help and support we need has been there the entire time. Inside of you is the strength of the universe. You are massive in your power so know that God is with you and the be that power.  Be still and know God has you, everything is going to be alright.

What’s the reason for the season


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For me Christmas is for children to keep some semblance of hope in their hearts. A jolly Santa tends to their wishes. But the real reason for the season is the celebration of the return of light.

For the many Christians it is to celebrate the birth of Jesus, the way shower to the oncoming tide of love the teaching were meant to bring. They saw and celebrate a heavenly child but often forget the vast importance of his role. This great teacher changed the course of our understanding of the force of God. God was no longer a punishing God but a force of love offering relief to those bogged down in laws they would never find relief from.

Jesus was the physical holder of the great light emerging as the fulfillment of the law releasing us from this life of sin, claiming a life of light and love. This fulfillment changed his name from the human form of Jesus to the being of light or the Christ. The Christ like God is a force of light available to everyone, let me repeat that, EVERYONE. It is as the Christ taught within each of us waiting for our acknowledgment. Accepted, we too can be filled with this light that surpasses understanding. That means it comes to me, it comes to you, and is beyond our small minds just how encompassing it is.

Everyone will have access to this light, no one owns it or controls it or can name it. Beyond the name of Jesus the light endures because if humans can touch it, it will be put out.This light cannot be put out as the Christ taught us and physical death will show us.

The light is eternal.

Beyond the little minds of humans the great stories continue to do their work. The seasons are marked as story holders to jog our memories to the truth innate within us. Deep down we know, deeper still lies the truth that through the time of winter season and the darkness, we feel this light our eternal hope for a better world.

Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”

My hope for the return of light is for the children. May we all be as children before this light, innocent, heart open, and filled with love.

May your holiday be blessed!